What if...

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 7; the seventh edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

What if
I was sexy like the girl next door
Would that make you want me more?

What if
I was as skinny as those models you see
Would that make you want to sleep with me?

What if
I was blonde and not a brunette
Would you spend more time with me and not forget?

What if
I had boobs that were sized a double D
Would you then take some moments to listen to me?

What if
I was not more intelligent than you
Would you be more secure and remain true?

What if
I let you earn more money than me
Would that pacify your masculinity?

What if
I was a woman who didn’t think for myself
Would you be happier to step in instead?

What if
I was coy, bashful and demure
Would that add to my allure?

What if
I was one to always give in to your needs
Would you then give up your secret deeds?

I am not any of this
And I never will be
I am proud of who I am
I am, but me
If you cannot handle that
It is of no worry
I am happy to live my life
Being independent and free

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

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I'm here

It's so unlike me to not blog for 4 days! :p But I'm still here. Just trying to get back into routine and have been a bit tired at the end of the day to blog. After all, for a month, I was sleeping in till 9 on most days as against 6.

But I am getting back to my usual routine. So I started the new position except this week was not at my usual location since my line manager is based at another site and I had to get oriented. However, I start at my actual place next week.

So far things seem okay. My manager is nice. Most of the people I met across the teams seem nice enough including those who I will be working with. But I can be wrong about people...I have been in the past. Having said that, I still manage to avoid conflict most of the time. Touchwood.

I will continue to blog despite being slack this last week.

Hope all is well in the blog world! =D

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

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Tiresome Threesome

First, I must credit Gyanban for giving me the idea for the title and the post.

Second, no the post is not what you might be thinking about... :p [Naughty, naughty]

So, what am I talking about? Well...it's about how tiresome it is when you intend on living with one other person but realise that it feels like sharing with two instead. Resulting in the tiresome threesome. Three people sharing a place meant for two.

Let me elaborate.

L isn't a bad person. She's quite nice apart from being a bit of a grub. (I will talk to her about it soon!!) Now, when she moved in three months ago, she had gotten out of a 5 year relationship. So she was single. Anyway, in the first week, I met her best friend...a guy...who we shall call T. He was over a couple of times in the first week and she asked me once if I minded him coming over. I told her back then I would prefer if she told me when T was coming over...just nice to have a heads up. So she did. For a week. And then nothing. He kept coming over but she wouldn't tell me.

I always suspected T was more than a 'best friend'. How many best friends come over almost every single day? How many best friends have dinner with you on most days when they have their mum, dad and siblings at home 5 minutes away? How many best friends drive you everywhere (even when it's out of their way) because you don't have a car? How many best friends come over to hang out with you after you worked together, went to church together and did Bible study together?

Anyway, mid-December, L went away for a week (which was bliss!!!) and when she came back, they both hooked up. And if anything, T seems to come over more often now. I must admit, L goes out a lot. Which is great. But whenever she is home after 12:00 p.m. T seems to be home as well. He's stayed over a couple of times (that I know of). He's had a shower a couple of times (that I know of...both weren't mentioned to me...and one I noticed because I came home unexpectedly early from work!) When L comes home from work, T comes with her. There were days before the school holidays that T would finish his work at a school and come straight here. I find myself driving home from work and looking out for T's car. And my mood plummets if I find it.

There are so many questions I have as well --- how did L move on so quickly (barely a month) from a 5 year relationship with someone she thought she would marry and have babies with??? How can L and T stand to spend so much time with one another?? (As Richa said: "excessive togetherness syndrome"). Don't they get sick of one another? Why can't T just decide to move out of home and then the two of them can move in together? Why can't they spend time in T's house? Even if he does live with his parents, he has his own room!! And he lives in a house and not a unit.

So anyway, I started to keep what I call a T-log. Since last Friday (the 22nd) I have been keeping note of whenever T is over and how long he stays. So far, 9 days in, he's been over 7 days. Sometimes for a couple of hours. Other times for about 7 hours. This helps me have an objective measure when I talk to L in a week or two about how it feels like I'm sharing with 2 people rather than just one and if I really wanted that, I would have advertised for a couple in the first place. It's a bit hard to explain exactly what it is that bothers me --- but the best I can do is say it feels cramped. I have shared with 3 other people in the past and had vowed to not share with more than one other once I was out of uni. But at least when sharing with 3 people, the place was bigger than my unit. It was the student residences and was built in a manner that even when others were around, you didn't necessarily hear them in your own room. An apartment, on the other hand, is not built that way.

So anyway, I hope I can follow through on my decision to be assertive --- given that I hate confrontation and I am so not assertive. I am not saying he should never come over. But I would prefer it to be just 2 days a week as opposed to 5!

There's another part of me that just wants to give L two weeks' notice to move out and say that I want to live by myself...and then after she's moved out, to re-advertise. And of course, this time, be even clearer about my preferences right from the start. But I could be jumping from the frying pan into the fire with that scenario (even though I have seen some potentials online!). Plus, I cannot always avoid problems and need to learn to be assertive. Sigh. 

I cannot wait for the day when I'll be able to afford to live by myself.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

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As one chapter ends...

...another is about to begin.

I finished my last day at both my jobs this week and start my new job on Monday. I am nervous. And excited. I loved both my jobs and had there been the opportunity to work full time in either one of them, I probably would have taken it. More importantly, I really liked the people I worked with. And I think that's one of the most important things at the workplace. You can have the shittiest day possible but having good, supportive and friendly colleagues makes it all worthwhile. On the other hand, you could love the work you do but having bitchy and backstabbing colleagues will take away all that pleasure.

With the new chapter in terms of my work like, I think I'm more nervous about the people I am going to be working with. I don't know any of them yet. All I know is that there is one other psychologist on the team. My colleagues from the jobs I quit don't think I should have any problems because I am apparently easy-going. That's good to know. Let's hope it comes in handy at the new work place. My main worry though is my social anxiety. I have overcome it big time but I am still very anxious when I meet new people and tend not to say much...to the point where I can be perceived as being arrogant. I guess time will tell.

Finishing my two jobs has been quite sad and surreal. But there's another chapter that seems to have closed, not related to work. I don't know if I mentioned this before, but both those jobs were in the same suburb. A suburb around which I lived since I moved to Australia. No, I didn't live in that particular suburb but the shopping centre there was my local one. I came to Sydney 5 years ago and barring the first week when I was searching for accommodation, I lived around this area. And it became home to me. Despite it's not-so-great reputation amongst other Sydneysiders. I know most of the streets. I know the shopping centre. I lived in one suburb throughout uni and then moved to another one 10 minutes away, still in the same local government area. I was even fortunate to get a job at the school within this area. And some months down the track, the other job as well 2 minutes from the school. It was only in August last year that I moved out of the area into another suburb in totally different LGA (which I love!) But since I still continued working in what was 'home', it did not seem like I had made a big move.

But now, I will no longer be working around that area. And I am not going to be living there either. And that's going to be strange. It's a chapter of my life that has finished. The first few weeks will probably be weird...not travelling down those familiar streets, seeing those familiar sights and viewing some things that are so typical of that area. 5 years is a long time. You get used to things and you begin to like familiarity.

However, it doesn't mean I cannot adjust. If I think back on my life, the funny thing is I've done many things in 5 year chunks. I went to primary school in Oman from Year 1 to 5. I then did Year 6 to 10 in another school in Bombay. I then went on to Year 11 and 12 and continued my B.A. in the same college --- another 5 years. And now, 5 years studying and working around the same local government area in Sydney. And each time I've had to move, I've had different emotions. I did not like moving to Bombay from Oman but I adjusted in the first year. I was shit scared when I applied for entry into Year 11 because I thought I would not 'fit in'...but I did by the end of the year and loved the rest of my time there. I was excited and nervous about coming to Australia but I settled within three months of living here.

So yes, I'm sad at the end of this chapter in my life...living and working around an area that was home to me. But I'm hopeful, based on past experiences, that I will adjust to the new chapter even though I am nervous and excited.

And as one of my friends told me today --- it's not like the suburb is going anywhere --- you can always go there for your grocery shopping if you want to make the effort to drive out there! [Wise words indeed!!] :P

Oh...and since the last couple of months has been so hectic with me trying to finish off my paper work and bringing work home, here's a picture of what my desk at home looked like until yesterday:

And since I had the day off today, I spent time cleaning my entire room in preparation for my new chapter in life...

Can you believe I didn't have space for my laptop on my desk?? I had so many bills and payslips and papers just lying there (very unlike me!) and I filed everything away and shredded others today and can actually see the top of my desk! All that's left now is to organise some of my papers (resources that I've collected over the last couple of years). You know what I'm going to be up to this weekend! :)

Anyway, hope you all have a great weekend.

And remember, as one chapter ends, another begins.

Unless of course, you are dead. :P

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

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Aussie, Aussie, Aussie...

It's Australia Day today and I am extremely happy and proud this year. Even more than other years. [No it doesn't have to do with the cricket. For once. Neither does it have to do with me getting citizenship...been busy there but hope to get it sometime this year]

Every Australia Day, an Australian is awarded the Australian of the Year. Steve Waugh has been one (2004). Pat Rafter has been another (2002). So has Mark Taylor (1999...which by the way I find hard to believe!) But this year, in its 50th year, it has gone to someone relatively unknown. Someone who is not involved in climate change or similar trending issues. But someone who has been lobbying in a field that is close to my heart. An area I am passionate about.

The Australian of the Year for 2010 is Professor Patrick McGorry.

Who, I hear you ask.

Well, Professor Patrick McGorry is a psychiatrist who has been lobbying for better treatment for young people with mental health problems. And I for one, am stoked!

Professor McGorry is a psychiatrist who has been advocating early intervention services to assist young people with mental health problems better and thereby prevent outcomes such as suicide. He is also the director of Headspace across the country which is a mental health service for young people between 12 and 24 years of age. [By the way, Headspace is amazing and I'd love to work there someday!]  

Hopefully, this means there will be more funding from the Federal and State governments towards youth mental health. It amazes me that the government does not shell out as much money for mental health as it does for say, transport [Sydneysiders will know...I'm referring to the metro!]. The young people of today are the future of tomorrow. And I can tell you first hand, in this day and age, mental health issues are all the more prevalent. Blame it on more knowledge or lack of social support or social contact or too much media exposure...any way you go, the end result is that mental health is a concern. And not much is being done about it. At least not from up above.

The onset of mental health problems seems to be occurring at a younger age. And no, I don't mean just ADHD or behaviour problems (those are overdiagnosed in my opinion). Kids as young as 5 are being diagnosed with eating disorders. I myself have worked with 7 year olds suffering from generalised anxiety (worries about the future, performance, health, wellbeing of loved ones etc) or performance anxiety. In 1997, depression was present in 3 percent of children and 5 percent of adolescents. That was 13 years ago. I am willing to bet my bottom dollar it has drastically increased.

And as for teenagers, don't even get me started. I know I have ranted about them in the past. But I actually prefer working with teenagers than the little children. Teenagers go through a lot of shit these days. Bullying is a lot worse than it has ever been. Social support is a lot less. Peer pressure a lot more. Add puberty and raging hormones to the mix and voila! You have one messed up teen. There aren't enough services out there for young people. Especially economically disadvantaged young people. I can say that because I've tried referring some of them and there's nowhere to go. What people don't seem to understand is that teenagers also suffer from depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress, phobias, emotional regulation problems, eating disorders etc. And while it's easy to tell them to "get over it", it's not actually easy for them to do so. They need therapy. They need someone to provide them with strategies. And most importantly, they need someone to listen and normalise what they are going through.

We are always told 'prevention is better than cure'. So why don't we apply this adage to mental health? When it comes to physical health, we generally know what to do or what not to do. But does anyone really know what to do to prevent serious mental health problems? Of course not! Mental health awareness needs to be increased. And we need more individuals like Professor McGorry. And of course, funds from the government wouldn't hurt!

So once again, I'm extremely happy today. I just wish I had given my citizenship test around November-December (I couldn't because of work and then the change of jobs...and I've had to put it off for a while now) But even without the citizenship, I'm a proud Australian today. I am also a proud health professional today. :p

And if I am able to do even half of what Professor McGorry is doing for young people in my lifetime as a psychologist, I will die happy. 

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

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The Plan

Have you had suicidal thoughts?
Yes
Do you have a plan?
Yes
Remember what I told you about limits to confidentiality*?
Yes
Can you guarantee your safety?
Yes
“I hope you believe me” they both thought
For Mike was sick of his client spoiling his perfect outcomes. She’d never realise the plan was actually his.

Written for Sunday Scribblings Prompt 'Yes'

*Every client is initially informed about the limits of confidentiality. They are told that if there is risk of harm to themselves or someone else, or if a file is subpoenaed, confidentiality can be waived.  

***********************************************************************

DISCLAIMER: I mean no disrespect to individuals that are in this 'client's' position. I would also like to say that therapists have to do a comprehensive risk of harm assessment and it is not as portrayed in this 55-Fiction. I also highly doubt there are therapists such as 'Mike'. No therapist likes having a client kill themselves. Please treat this as it is --- a work of fiction (despite it being morbid).

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

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Ten Things

I started the day with a rant. I'm going to end the day with a positive post.

Clarissa had tagged me ages ago to list 10 things that make me happy.

1. Books, books, and more books. The more the books, the happier I am. It's a direct correlation.

2. Test and One-day cricket. Especially when it gets competitive.

3. Learning. Whether it's psychology or just trivia...learning something new makes me happy.

4. The beach. I cannot be angry or unhappy at the beach. The water, the skies, the sand...the whole package has a very calming and relaxing effect on me. Resulting in happiness.

5. Having the unit to myself. Yes, I am easily pleased.

6. A trip to the Dendy for a great movie. Or for that matter, a trip into Newtown. I love Newtown and all the second-hand bookstores and the two amazing Indian restaurants out there.

7. Beer. Cold beer. Cold tap beer. Makes me very, very happy.

8. Good food.

9. Political incorrectness. Whether it's on the telly or with friends or at work. Political incorrectness makes me laugh which in turn makes me happy.

10. Driving in the car with the radio playing good songs. (Triple M or Vega)

So there you go...some things that make me happy. There are others not mentioned but talking to family and friends also makes me happy.

What about you? Can you list 10 things that make you happy??

Go ahead...and take this tag if you can!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

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