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I was having a conversation with my friend A at work about some of the dramas in my life and was referring to my ‘abandonment issues’ when he said something that struck a chord: Why we do overpathologise normal reactions to things? Does it not then become a self-fulfilling prophecy?
As psychologists particularly, I notice that we tend to label ourselves a lot {in addition to labelling clients} and we self-diagnose. I still remember that during the third year of my undergrad, one of the ‘warnings’ in our abnormal psychology text was to not diagnose ourselves. Yet, for some reason, we still do. Sure we may joke about it. And laugh at how neurotic all psychologists are. But I wonder whether we are doing ourselves a disservice.
For instance, I wonder sometimes when I consider that I have traits of generalised anxiety, does it in some way make me even more aware of the normal worries that everyone has? When I used to think of myself as socially anxious, did that in fact make me more socially anxious and awkward in social situations? Because with this one in particular, I’ve noticed that I’ve overcome a lot of that this year by just pushing myself to do things I wouldn’t. In the same vein, I wonder then whether my fear of abandonment and rejection are exacerbated ten-fold when I continue to label it. Doesn’t everyone fear rejection or losing loved ones every now and then? What is it about mine that makes it so bloody abnormal?
Sometimes I think it doesn’t help that I am surrounded by psychologists. My friends here are all psychs. My colleagues are psychs. My ex-partner was a psych. While meeting new people this year through bushwalking groups and similar avenues, I realised that it’s so much nicer and easier to not be in our heads all the time. To be present and to not over-analyse. To not think that just because you worry about a few things means you are neurotic or nuts. And most importantly, to not label things as being abnormal.
I am not by any means saying mental health disorders don’t exist. Nor am I saying we should all completely stop labelling.
But I do wonder whether some of us make our problems worse by attaching meaning to them.
This is where the principles of Acceptance and Commitment therapy start to make more sense. Language sometimes is the root of our problems. It makes us struggle with our internal and external worlds. And rarely do we win this struggle.
I think I’m going to try an experiment on myself.
To stop labelling my worries and fears as a disorder of sorts.
And see where that takes me.
Do you think we overpathologise ourselves especially if we have more knowledge of things?
Do share.
Until next time,
Cheers!!!
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