Get over it

I am sick and tired of the Gilly-bashing just because he 'dared' to write something against Sachin in his autobiography. So Gilly has questioned Sachin's integrity in his book. And the problem is...??

Fanatics in India need to come to terms that Sachin is not a God. That Sachin is human. And that Sachin makes errors. And that Sachin has flaws. His record is not pristine. People conveniently forget how Sachin (who makes zillions) tried to get off paying extra taxes for his Ferrari some years ago. While Sachin may be considered the best batsman in the world (on the basis of runs scored), Gilly wins outright for actually taking his team to victory on more occasions and of course, for being a true sportsman. Give me one instance when Sachin has walked without waiting for an umpire (and no, I do NOT mean when he spoons a catch that is so clearly out).

Gilly in no way claims to be a saint. He admits to sledging (I don't think any of the Aussies deny that!). It's high time people stopped thinking of Sachin as being one. Gilly has every right to question whoever he wants in his autobiography. It's his side of the story after all.

You can be sure that I, a hard-core Gilly fan, will be buying True Colours. Await a review once I'm done reading it.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Crazy flatmates

There's this joke that I heard a long time ago:

"1 in every 4 people has a mental illness; check out your 3 best mates, if it's none of them, you're probably the one!"

Working in the mental health field, I'm a bit uncertain about that statistic but each and every one of us has our mental health problems; the difference is that it may not always be clinical. The point of this post is not to talk about mental health though. I remember having a chat with a friend some years ago about how there appeared to be too many people on the residences on-campus that had 'mental health problems'. There always were some nutters, and I say this in the nicest way possible --- I do not mean any disrespect to people with actual clinical mental health problems.

Anyway, I have had the 'privilege' of having some real out-there flatmates myself over the years here in Australia.

E: This was a girl renting a room in the first place that I lived. She wasn't exactly nuts, but she was the kind that did not engage much in conversation and if she did, it was to criticise. "How come you don't have a laptop?"; and when I did consider "No, you can't use the same internet connection because I am using it" and then "You take too long in the bathroom" (Note: I don't...I have never had any other flatmate after her say it either, so there!). In fact, after I moved out and happened to bump into her at the shops 2-3 months later: "You've become fat" is what I get. Oh, gee E, and it's real nice to see you too...

I then had a good run for 8 months. The following year I had another ---

I: She seemed really nice at the start. In fact, we were friends and things were good. Until the 'event'. She came from an party late one night and then informed me the next day that she thought she may have been sexually assaulted. She was too drunk to remember. And the nightmare began --- I got into trouble with the manager of the residences (being RA), with my other roommates (we were 4 to a unit) and then even with her! She didn't want anyone to know, but got the cops involved. I then got into trouble for not letting people know --- but who'd figured something was wrong seeing the cops! Following the incident, things got weird between us. (For the record, there was no sexual assault proved). She wasn't the quiet girl I'd been friends with. Not only did she fool around heaps, she treated me like shit. She got me into trouble with another mate due to some bullshit. At the end of the semester, I was real glad to see her go back!

The semester following I was ok. No major crackpots. Then it was time for...

W: She was an interesting character. The first day she complained about the place. When I told her I was going shopping and out of courtesy, asked her if she'd like me to get anything, her response: "Milk, bread, vegetables for stir-fry, rice." My unassertive response: "Sure. Umm...what vegetables?" So there I was, being used as a doormat for trying to be nice! I do buy stuff for roomies, but it's generally been bread and/or milk! Anyhoo, that was just the beginning. I must say, I didn't make the mistake of asking her that again. Some other crazy-arse stuff that she did: Brushed her teeth over the kitched sink, Blew her nose over the kitchen sink, Stayed locked in her room (which began to stink terribly!), Didn't seem to shower often, Would wash some clothes in the kitchen sink. By the end of the semester though, she decided to move to another unit within the residences as she didn't like me and another roommate who brought up the disgusting-ness of her aforementioned behaviour.

S: She came after W left --- took the same room. She seemed nice to start off with. As the weeks went by, she turned out to be messy. And while I know I am obsessive about cleanliness, I've lived with guys who were messy without a problem --- but she beat that! As an example, she left a can of pasta sauce out for more than a week and it sat on the kitchen top collecting fungi. She left roast chicken in a plastic bag (tied up) until the entire unit was stinking like hell! (Problem was, we didn't know it was the chicken and got rid of the rubbish and tried everything possible) She realised almost 10 days later and threw it out. Messiness aside, she was even scarier. On this one day when I was proof-reading my 5000-word long assignment in the lounge room, she asked me about it. After I told her pretty elatedly about how it was complete, she said she would sneak in to my room when I wasn't there and delete the whole file. Go figure! She also threatened a friend of mine who had happened to park in a place where she normally parked (it's not reserved) that she wanted to scratch their car! That is not normal. Anyway, I was real glad to move out. The last few weeks when it was just her and me in the unit, I'd keep my bedroom locked at night, a thing I didn't do with any other roommate. She scared me and for good reason. I found out that earlier this year, she physically assaulted another girl (who was a friend) when she got mad at her. So I wasn't being paranoid. Just careful.

Anyway, right now I'm doing okay on the flatmate front.

I do wonder though, if I decide to move in future, what kind of crazy people am I going to land up with?

Anyone else got crazy stories to share?

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Mumbai Madness

I was able to read on other blogs and Indian websites about the madness that took place in Bombay earlier in the week. I also read about the aftermath. Now, I was born and brought up in Bombay (barring the few years I was in Oman) and I considered myself a Bombayite. Moreover, I always had the view that had I been anywhere else in India, I would have hated it (I'd been to Madras at 12 and was convinced that Bombay was the best). Bombay to me, was always one of the more advanced cities. And it has been to many, the city of dreams. Hence the population.

However, in spite of being one of the more advanced cities, it is run by the most ignorant of fools. Fools who think that Bombay should only be for Maharashtrians. I'm originally a Tamilian but I have friends who are Maharastrians, Gujaratis, North Indians, Goans, South Indians....you name it. The bottom line is, there isn't anything that different. Yes, we have different customs but at the end of the day none of that matters. Unfortunately though, it is something that has mattered to the Shiv Sena and the MNS now --- they only want their 'marathi manoos' (translated: men from Maharashtra) to get the jobs which they believe are being stolen by North Indians as of now (and previously it used to be South Indians). It's these very idiots in the SS that discriminate against Muslims and threw a fit when the Pakistan cricket team were going to play some years ago.

Enough is enough. This madness needs to be put to an end. What happens after all this? Raj Thackeray gets arrested and then get's let out (surprise, surprise) and the media makes him sound like a hero or a martyr. How ridiculous is that?

As Indians, we whinge about racism by the west. It's high time Indians looked in their own backyards first and tried to solve those problems (would you call it regionalism??) before targetting the west. How many Sydneysiders do you see being violent to Melburnians for living in Sydney or vice versa? How many Californians do you see killing people just because they are originally from Chicago?

The madness has got to stop. Now.

Except, I doubt it will.

Until next time.

Cheers.

Burn after Reading

I went to watch 'Burn after Reading' last Saturday. There were raving reviews about the movie in the newspapers and on telly. But the cynic in me finds it hard to believe them ("They are paid to say this...") However, the promos did look interesting.

Anyway, my mate and I decide to go to the Dendy at Newtown for the 6:30 show. We get there by about 6:20 and lo and behold....the line is bloody long!!! I have never seen such a long line at the movies since I have been to Australia and never at the Dendy (where you don't see little kids!). By the time, we got to the counter, it was 6:45, and the movie had begun. So there had to be a change in plans and we went for the 8:30 show instead.

For the 8:30 show as well, the hall was full. And no I'm not exaggerating. I noticed people who had to sit separately from friends because in some rows there were just single seats available. All of this was lifting my expectations about the movie. I generally try as a rule to not have high expectations as the chances of having them dashed is quite common. But I couldn't not have such high expectations in this case given the circumstances.

In the end, I was not disappointed. Burn after Reading is an amazingly intelligent movie with it's black humour. I will not get into the story as I wouldn't want to give anything away and as for the gist, well any newspaper will tell you that. In my opinion, the movie portrays American society as it is today --- narcissistic, lack of empathy, engaging in shallow & meaningless relationships, paranoid and finally, something that I saw as a subtle hint on how George Bush has handled the 'war against terrorism'. All the actors have done a great job --- Frances McDormand as being obsessed with her looks, Tilda Swinton as being a cold bitch, George Clooney as a womanising, paranoid narcissist, Brad Pitt as a slow pretty-boy, and of course, John Malkovich as the crazed ex-CIA agent.

Hats off to the Coen brothers for making people laugh, for shocking us, and for making us think ---- all at once.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Sorry state of Aussie cricket

I do not believe it. It's not just that we lost ---- it's that we gave up without a fight. Or so it seemed. What happened? What went wrong? Fair enough, we don't have the likes of Gilly, Pigeon, Langer or Symmo....but that's no excuse.

A supposed spat between Ponting and Lee.

A horrendous 'effort' by Matty Hayden (I think retirement's calling!)

I am sad. And disappointed.

Is it delusional to dream that there is a possibility of a comeback in the next two tests?

Maybe, just maybe.

Until next time.

Third time lucky

I had my third driving test today. This after two failures --- both with the same examiner.

Talk about nerves! I hardly slept last night. My heart was beating fast all morning (even before I had my caffeine intake --- 90 beats a minute)

But I passed. It started off well in that I didn't get the same woman I got the last two times. Plus driving during school zone hours helped me drive slower. And then, it drizzled a bit. All in all, it was ok.

And now, I'm on my red Ps. All I have to do now is to actually buy a car. But I'm satisfied for the time being...

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Getting Clucky

I am officially clucky.

I have been yearning to have one over the past few months.

Unfortunately, with the future not planned out, it's hard to go ahead. I will have to wait at least until I get residency. And then I'll probably have to look for a new place to live as my current place is not suitable.

I find myself staring at them in the shopping centres. I catch myself going "awww" or making other weird noises to those belonging to other people. I never used to go "awww". I think that's what settles the clucky-ness. I also find that I have this silly grin on my face if they respond to me nicely.

Every one goes through this, right?

Anyway, I sort of know what I want. It has to be male. While I may be a strict disciplinarian, I will shower him with all the love and affection in the world. And while I may try for more than one in the future, I will do my very best to not have favourites.

How to get one is another story. Do I adopt? Do I go and get one who has been given away? Do I buy one? Can I get one online? So many questions...

I would like him to look like one of those down here:

Gorgeous aren't they? While I'm leaning towards a mini-foxie, I wouldn't mind a beagle or a jack russell either. All I know is that I am way too clucky now...and I want a dog sooner rather than later!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Cultural identity --- fused or confused

Adolescence is the developmental stage when we try to fathom our own indentity according to Erikson's stages of psychosocial development. I have been thinking about my identity lately --- more so, my cultural identity. According to Wikipedia (because I couldn't find it anywhere else!), cultural identity is the (feeling of) identity of a group or culture, or of an individual as far as he or she is influenced by her belonging to a group or culture.

I was born and brought up in India (although I did spend about 5-7 years of my life in Oman). I've always had Indian friends. I always hung out with Indians, even when in Oman. I even went to an Indian School in Oman. Back to Bombay aged 9, India was all I had known. And yet, as I began developing cognitively, I felt like something was different. I didn't 'feel' Indian. Yes I look like I'm from India with the dark skin and everything, and yes I have had the Indian accent and of course, my love for Indian food could never cease...but my views did not fit with the 'culture'.

What made me think about this lately is because I noticed some pictures by friends and acquaintances on Facebook. Now these are friends from India who are now either studying overseas or have settled there. They had pictures of celebrating Navratri (which is just one of the n-number of Hindu religious celebrations) and wearing saris or other Indian clothes, hanging out with other Indians, and playing dandiya (or is it garba?). Me --- what did I do for Navratri --- well, I didn't even know it was on! I only found out later through the pictures and from my sister after it was all over. I don't regret it (considering I was never even enthusiastic about the 10-day long festival when I was in India!) but it made me realise all the more about how un-Indian I am.

I remember as a teenager growing up and questioning some of the rites and rituals we had to follow. I never got a clear answer --- usually answers were along the lines of "This is how it's always been done for generations". And that makes it ok for us because...? Just some of the things that have over the years made me un-Indian to some Indians back home:
- I don't speak my mother tongue Tamil.
- I speak limited Hindi --- it's more of 'Hinglish'
- I did not follow in either of my parents' footsteps in terms of a career
- I refused to let my parents tell me what to do in terms of a career (and if they had, I would not have listened --- fortunately they have been very supportive!)
- I became openly vocal about my opinions (which as a girl was not accepted by some narrow-minded relatives)
- I have never worn a sari and never plan to
- I have only worn salwar kameezes occassionally
- I never supported India in sports (especially cricket) which meant to some people I was being unpatriotic
- I have not liked festivals like Holi and Diwali (although I did appreciate the public holiday that came along with it)
- I believe my grandmother (dad's mum) should be in an old-age home
- I have never put mehendi on my hands
- I have never agreed with societal pressures on arranged marriages, girls being subservent, the male being the epitome
- I hated having to learn bharatnatyam (lasted 1 year) and Carnatic singing (lasted too long for my liking)
- I did not like 95% of Bollywood movies

On the other hand, about 3-and-a-half years in Australia has made me feel 'Aussie-fied'.
- I find that all my friends here are Aussies. I haven't hung out with any Indians ('coz I found hardly any wanted to do child psych)
- My opinions and ideas match with most of them
- I've even picked up the Aussie accent (which makes some people at work believe I was born and brought up here)
- I haven't gone to any Indian gatherings or been part of an Indian society
- I have always supported Aussies in cricket since I was 11 and this has now translated to other sports.
- I went to an Aus v Ind cricket game last season and waved the Aussie flag
- I have even picked up saracasm beautifully since being here
- I like taking the piss out of my mates
- I have picked up slang
- I have gotten into Aussie music: Thirsty Merc, Jet, Powderfinger, Crowded house, Cold Chisel to name a few
- I love the beach in summer and enjoy bushwalking
- I rarely ever notice that my skin is a different colour to my friends (until it's pointed out to as I tan beautifully :P)

In short, I feel more at home here in Australia than I did in India. Don't get me wrong...I love my family (i.e. immediate family comprising mum, dad and sis) and my friends from home... but even though I don't have that same familial support here or perhaps as close friends as I did, I still love it here. I would so love to continue feeling at home here. I feel so bloody Aussie in my heart.

My cultural identity is probably a bit fused...but I guess, whose isn't in this day and age? I have no regrets. I have picked up values from my parents which have served me well even here Down Under. And I believe I have picked up a lot from multicultural Australia (ok...multicultural Sydney...coz I haven't been outside NSW).

At this time, when there's mixed views about migrants in Australia --- how some people believe they don't integrate with the larger community --- I would like to think I was different in that I am already infused. So if I had to ever appeal --- I would say all this and more.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Worries and anxieties

I have always been a worrier although for many years I was in denial. I catastrophise. I fortune-tell. I mind-read. And I worry. For those not in the know, some of what I mentioned are thinking errors that we commonly engage in. While on the bright side, I'm aware of my thinking errors, on the not-so-bright side, I continue to engage in them.

Presently, I am catastrophising big time about my future. Granted, I've got a good job and recently got offered another. My current worry is that it's too good to be true. That something is going to slip up. And that, that something might actually have to do with my residency. Anxiety is generally about unpredictability and lack of control and as far as my situation with my permanent reisdency goes, I have both. Whilst I meet the criteria, I have no idea what could impede my chances (unpredictability) and I have done everything in my power so far to get to this point such as studying, getting a job, handing in the application. Now everything is in the hands of a case officer in the immigration department and there is nothing more that I can do (lack of control).

My anxiety levels have hit an all-time high.

I'm finding it hard to challenge the negative thoughts.

I'm finding it harder to be mindful.

While I do try to focus on my breathing or to relax, that's bloody hard as well.

I can't wait to start seeing clients from tomorrow --- helping them with their problems and worries makes me forget my own. At least for a while.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Regret...

Ok, at present I'm quite annoyed --- with the RTA mainly but a bit with myself too. I just came back from my second attempt at a driving test and failed yet again! This time, unlike the first, I didn't think I'd made the mistakes the examiner claims I had (apart from one).

I'm angry with myself because ---- why oh why did I not try to get a license when I was in Bombay??? My mum did encourage me the time I turned 18. If only I'd listened then, I would now have a full license instead of having to go through the whole rigmarole in NSW.

Oh well, just wanted to vent.

Until next time,

Cheers!

In Remembrance...

I don’t know the year you were born;
I don’t know how old you were;
I don’t know what you did for a living;
Or how much money you earned.

I do remember other things ---
Things that bring a smile to my face
And tears in my eyes
‘Cause while it’s all over, the memories I won’t erase

I remember how you taught me to pray;
Encouraged me to read, to write and tell stories.
The stories you told me, I remember till today
About the Ramayana, Mahabharata and mythology

You recorded cartoons for me when I was away
Took me to the park be it night or day;
Cut me mangoes in tiny pieces
In the summer months of May

I remember spending summer holidays with you
Reading books and watching TV
You spoilt my sister and me to the core
Buying us what we wanted but probably didn’t need

As I grew older I do realise
With you I didn’t spend much time
But you were still there
With all your blessings divine

I still remember our arguments
About the cricket more often than not
About how you were for India
While for me it was Aus all round

Your beliefs in astrology I never really got
But didn’t pooh-pooh it through and through
‘Cause there’s one thing I think I continue
And that’s trying to carry around something blue.

I didn’t understand why you said a lot of things
And thought it was illogical
But I guess we think differently,
You, a bit more philosophical
I’m going to miss all of this
The mangoes, the prayers, the loving worry
The arguments, the snoring, the stories,
The way you laughed at my jokes
And your very own wit!

I do hope you continue to watch out for me, your granddaughter
And that you blessings always remain
And while I couldn’t see you in your final days
Your memories with me shall forever stay.

[In loving memory of my grandfather, K. A. Ananth (19?? - 2006)]

Over-rated --- I think so!

So I was watching Law and Order: SVU yesterday and the episode was about teenagers and alcohol and how they binge-drink by sneaking in alcohol even though it is illegal. Anyway, it got me thinking about my adolescence and for that matter, even now, when binge-drinking or drinking to get drunk is big, as are doing drugs and smoking.

It took me back to second year in college when one of my close friends back then began drifting away and hanging out with a crowd that partied a lot, did drugs, smoked and drank heaps. And she thought I was being too goody-goody for not trying it out. I have never ever been one who wanted to smoke or do drugs. Drinking is different. As for partying, well, I tried out a nightclub once in Bombay and hated it. Not for me. I'm more the bars/pubs person or eating in a restaurant or going to movies. To cut a long story short, I am an introvert. However, this particular 'friend' of mine made it a point to highlight how much I was missing out on life every single time. I tried not to let it get to me and there were times I succeeded but at other times, I did wonder about whether I was in fact missing out on the partying scene.

As of today, I think all this partying and nightclubs and excessive drinking is over-rated. If I were to meet that 'friend' today, I would tell her exactly this --- it's over-rated. I don't think I missed out on anything. In fact, I think I preserved my developing brain. So I prefer watching movies and DVDs over dancing the night away and smoking dope. Why must I be made to feel guilty about that? Why must I get labelled goody-goody or nerd for not partying? I guess on the bright side, I was lucky to have other friends either similar to me or less judgemental.

But what about the kids today that don't have that kind of support? I work with children and adolescents and I see how there are some kids that don't have the kind of support I did. And that's where peer pressure strikes. I wish I could tell the kids how over-rated nightclubs, smoking, binge-drinking, drugs and all of that is. I really wish I could. But it's not my role to preach to them. And that's why I am writing this blog --- to vent.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!