When it gets personal...

I don't know if I've mentioned this in the past but...I love my jobs. They are all as a psychologist. My work can be pretty challenging as I may have mentioned in the past. But I've been able to handle it. I love the challenge and each client brings in something new.

However, this past couple of weeks I've dealt with someone completely different.

And this person made me question my own abilities. And doubt myself.

They began making personal attacks. The person attacked my level of experience, my competence, my professionalism. While I tried to not take it personally, because I could see the person was attacking me as it reflected on them as a parent, it was hard.

I haven't doubted myself in the area that the person attacked me. It's something I would consider as being my area of expertise. An area I could engage in even during my sleep. But when she made the personal attack, she made me doubt so much about myself.

I guess, on the bright side, my boss is on my side. My boss and my supervisor still believe in me and are sticking by me. And that helps me believe in myself and continue to have faith in my abilities.

And so, on that note, I would like to add:

I love my jobs. They are challenging.

But more importantly, I work with great people in all the 3 jobs. And I consider myself oh-so-lucky for that. It's because of that support I am able to deal with the hardest of clients and the greatest of challenges.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

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Weirdo or not?

I have a habit of checking rental listings every single day.

I have earlier spoken about some weird people out there but I must say I haven't seen one such as this. Take a look. I found it on www.gumtree.com.au

free rent for girl Price: Free
hi there, looking for a female roomy to share in one bedroom apartment free rent, no time wasters, nice place at cronulla right on the beach close to all shops and transport, sharing with nice young aussie male.

Yes...that was a real ad. I am curious to know how many girls actually responded to that one.

Anyway, until next time,

Cheers!!!

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Wait it out...

As requested, I'm keeping you updated on the flatmate situation.

I have no idea what has happened but Housemate 1 is now going to advertise at work to see if anyone is interested in moving in.

That leaves me with one option for now --- wait it out. I think I just need to wait it out until the other person moves in and then see if I feel comfortable. I don't feel threatened in any way and all my friends are aware of my situation. I am not fond of Housemate 1 because I think we are just different...and not that I don't get along with people who are different...he's different in a weird sort of way. I can't even describe it! Also, I found out that we have different television tastes which is not helpful!

Anyway, the 'waiting it out' is hard...especially when I keep looking up rental listings in the neighbourhood every single day and get excited at some of the apartments currently going. But I have also been thinking to myself...moving out before a month may look bad in terms of my rental reliability in future.

So anyway, thank you all again for your comments the last time. It was a bit like my head --- there were two sides. And I just might take the side suggesting to wait, save and then leave.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

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Am I paranoid?

I will be the first to say that I'm an anxious person and I worry heaps about the future.

But now, I want your opinion as to whether I'm just worrying or whether I've crossed a line and apparently become paranoid.

Flatmate that owns the house (we'll call him Housemate 1) still has another room available. Before I agreed to share this place, I was told another girl would be moving in to the current available room. A flight attendant. After taking the place, I was told, Housemate 1 did not like some stuff about her and so he had re-advertised and another guy was going to be moving in.

Fair enough.

Now, I'll be honest. I'm not prude nor do I have a problem living with guys...but I do honestly feel more comfortable if I'm not the only female! Still, I thought I'd give Potential Housemate 2 a chance.

3 days before Potential Housemate 2 was going to move in, he cancelled saying he found another place. Okay. Again, fair enough.

Then, Housemate 1 says 2 girls were coming to check out the place (separately). Neither of them turned up on the day they were supposed to and instead rescheduled for another day to view the place. I was away the day they came. Turns out, Housemate 1 did not particularly like them and so, they are not moving in.

Housemate 1 then tells me, he would prefer to have another guy in order to "balance things out". I thought to myself "the only way it'll be balanced out is if one of you is gay!" Still didn't say anything to Housemate 1 about my preferences. Mind you, he wants my opinion in the final choice. Or so he says.

Two days ago, Housemate 1 calls me at work and says that a previous housemate of his has their lease almost up and he is thinking of asking the Ex-housemate whether he would like to share here. Oh, and just to add to it...Ex-Housemate is a bloke.

I told Housemate 1 honestly, that I would prefer a girl. Housemate 1 then tried to convince me that Ex-Housemate is not too bad and while he is a big bloke, he's more of a gentle giant. And all I could think of was "why call me when you've apparently made up your mind?"

So am I being paranoid or something weird going on? I mean, it's one thing having two guys and not wanting that. It's a totally different thing living with two guys and not wanting that, and living with two guys who are mates. The dynamics in a household change big time when two people are already friends. I've seen it before. And I haven't liked it.

So now, I'm confused.

Should I look for another place although I've just lived here a week? (The rent is cheap and I like the suburb!)

Should I just wait it out for another few months before I can afford my own place?

Should I insist on not having this bloke stay? (Yeah....like I could ever be that assertive!)

Or can anyone out there give me an objective answer?

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

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Realisations...

Having moved into a new place a week ago, I've realised something.

I want my own place.

It's not that my flatmate it bad. He seems all right. But I prefer the place without him. You see, he's a pilot...but he doesn't fly international. However, he has been away a couple of nights due to some training and I'm loving it.

I love that I can do my own thing.

I love that I don't have to worry about another person being around.

Sadly, the antisocial me, also loves not having to make small talk.

I think it settles it.

I can't wait to save up enough to get a place by myself. I'd prefer spending more to have that privacy and solitude and scrimp on other stuff.

But for now, I can only dream.

And hope. That dreams do come true...

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

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Feeling...

A feeling of emptiness

A void so deep

Words cannot express

How alone I feel

Lost

Worried

Among other emotions

Scared

Afraid

Of loneliness

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