Making sure to meet your needs
Often setting examples through her deeds
Taking you every place you want to go
Hearing all your problems and more
Ensuring your food is on the table
Reading you your favourite fable
Thursday, 30 April 2009
Tuesday, 28 April 2009
A Decade on...
It's been 10 years now. 10 years since I finished my Year 10 exams and made a decision to take up Arts.
For those not from Bombay/India, the school system is such that the Year 10 school certificate exam has somewhat more importance than the HSC or Year 12 exams. That's because you choose your stream (Arts, Commerce or Science) after Year 10. And that, in turn, determines your career path. It's a bit restrictive especially if you choose Arts or Commerce because you can't change to Science after Year 12. On the other hand, if you go with Science in Years 11 and 12, and then change your mind, you can move to any other field. To cut a long story short, Science is given more importance, followed by Commerce, whereas Arts used to be considered a field you didn't choose --- rather it was one you had no choice but to do because you didn't get a good enough mark to get into Science or Commerce.
During my Year 10, I had made up my mind. I was not going to jump on the science bandwagon like everyone else I knew.
I hated physics and chemistry. I didn't particularly wanted to work with numbers or in the business sector. That left me with Arts as a choice since I loved English (The plan then was to become a journalist).
My dad had no problem with my choice. My mum, while she didn't have any problems initially, got a tad influenced by "well-wishers" who thought I should do Science as it would open up more opportunities for me. Plus, since I actually had the marks to get into the Science stream, these people were all the more convinced I should do that. That's Indian society for you...everyone wants to offer their two cents' worth --- even if they haven't been asked!!
I can still remember my arguments to convince my mum that I was doing the right thing. I remember telling her that if I were to take up Science in Years 11 and 12, and then decided to change to Arts, given the fact that I'm not good at Science, I would end up with low marks in the HSC and it would make it more difficult for me to get into a good Arts or journalism college. The second argument was how I would be saving them money because not taking up Science meant I wouldn't be going for all the extra tuition that costs thousands and thousands of rupees.
In the end, she bought the arguments and stopped listening to people who did not matter.
The rest, as they say, is history. I got into one of the best colleges for Arts in Bombay and needless to say, 5 years there changed my life. It changed me as a person. It broadened my mind and my horizons. And I am so grateful for that.
More importantly, I'm glad I was stubborn and stuck to my guns.
By the way, there were some "well-wishers" who had something to say about my choice of college due to it historci reputation of smokers and potheads. My take on that: Don't I have a fucking brain of my own to make up my own mind?
Yes, people said I had changed. But I'm willing to bet they will say that again now that I've been in Australia for 4 years.
Do I regret anything?
No.
I do think I made the right choice in terms of my major...journalism was not meant for a social phobic like me.
Psychology is giving me all I could ask for --- challenges, something new everyday, interacting with people on a one-to-one or small group level.
A decade on, I am not the nervous 15 year old standing in line for admission into the college. Yes, I'm still stubborn. But now, I voice my opinions a lot more. I'm a lot more confident than I have ever been. I love what I do.
And most importantly, I am happy with who I am --- something I probably wasn't at 15.
Until next time,
Cheers!!!
For those not from Bombay/India, the school system is such that the Year 10 school certificate exam has somewhat more importance than the HSC or Year 12 exams. That's because you choose your stream (Arts, Commerce or Science) after Year 10. And that, in turn, determines your career path. It's a bit restrictive especially if you choose Arts or Commerce because you can't change to Science after Year 12. On the other hand, if you go with Science in Years 11 and 12, and then change your mind, you can move to any other field. To cut a long story short, Science is given more importance, followed by Commerce, whereas Arts used to be considered a field you didn't choose --- rather it was one you had no choice but to do because you didn't get a good enough mark to get into Science or Commerce.
During my Year 10, I had made up my mind. I was not going to jump on the science bandwagon like everyone else I knew.
I hated physics and chemistry. I didn't particularly wanted to work with numbers or in the business sector. That left me with Arts as a choice since I loved English (The plan then was to become a journalist).
My dad had no problem with my choice. My mum, while she didn't have any problems initially, got a tad influenced by "well-wishers" who thought I should do Science as it would open up more opportunities for me. Plus, since I actually had the marks to get into the Science stream, these people were all the more convinced I should do that. That's Indian society for you...everyone wants to offer their two cents' worth --- even if they haven't been asked!!
I can still remember my arguments to convince my mum that I was doing the right thing. I remember telling her that if I were to take up Science in Years 11 and 12, and then decided to change to Arts, given the fact that I'm not good at Science, I would end up with low marks in the HSC and it would make it more difficult for me to get into a good Arts or journalism college. The second argument was how I would be saving them money because not taking up Science meant I wouldn't be going for all the extra tuition that costs thousands and thousands of rupees.
In the end, she bought the arguments and stopped listening to people who did not matter.
The rest, as they say, is history. I got into one of the best colleges for Arts in Bombay and needless to say, 5 years there changed my life. It changed me as a person. It broadened my mind and my horizons. And I am so grateful for that.
More importantly, I'm glad I was stubborn and stuck to my guns.
By the way, there were some "well-wishers" who had something to say about my choice of college due to it historci reputation of smokers and potheads. My take on that: Don't I have a fucking brain of my own to make up my own mind?
Yes, people said I had changed. But I'm willing to bet they will say that again now that I've been in Australia for 4 years.
Do I regret anything?
No.
I do think I made the right choice in terms of my major...journalism was not meant for a social phobic like me.
Psychology is giving me all I could ask for --- challenges, something new everyday, interacting with people on a one-to-one or small group level.
A decade on, I am not the nervous 15 year old standing in line for admission into the college. Yes, I'm still stubborn. But now, I voice my opinions a lot more. I'm a lot more confident than I have ever been. I love what I do.
And most importantly, I am happy with who I am --- something I probably wasn't at 15.
Until next time,
Cheers!!!
Monday, 27 April 2009
A Reason
She looked around the house
All was clean and spotless
She knew he’d be home soon
By then she’d be out in the darkness
He would not know how
Nor know where
But he would guess why
She was no longer there
He could scream
He could shout
He could curse
And swear out loud
But none of it
Would bring her back
As for the very first time
She would not crack
What took her so long
How could she never say no
It was because he loved her
And she always said so
But now there was a change
There was someone else
And every time he hit her
That was all she felt
She could not bring this baby
Into this life that was hell
And hence her final decision
To leave --- a final farewell.
All was clean and spotless
She knew he’d be home soon
By then she’d be out in the darkness
He would not know how
Nor know where
But he would guess why
She was no longer there
He could scream
He could shout
He could curse
And swear out loud
But none of it
Would bring her back
As for the very first time
She would not crack
What took her so long
How could she never say no
It was because he loved her
And she always said so
But now there was a change
There was someone else
And every time he hit her
That was all she felt
She could not bring this baby
Into this life that was hell
And hence her final decision
To leave --- a final farewell.
Sunday, 26 April 2009
Skin and bones...
Earlier this week, the Miss Universe Australia pageant was held. Now, based on my principles, I hate these beauty pageants. I don't care whether they say it's about brains and that the girls engage in charity work...it's just a bunch of skinny bimbos strutting their stuff. (Okay, I'll admit I'm being very harsh...I do think that Sushmita Sen has brains)
This year's show made headlines because one of the contestants was very skinny. Surprise, surprise.
This year's show made headlines because one of the contestants was very skinny. Surprise, surprise.
Now, what's even more surprising is that she claims she eats 6 to 8 meals a day. (Yeah, right!!)
There was also another claim that because of her heritage which is Macedonian, she is built that way. I work with someone from the same background and while she is healthy, I cannot see any bones like on this chick.
It's high time beauty pageants banned super-skinny models. This lady here is 180 cm tall and 49 kgs. That's grossly underweight. And yes, that's anorexic. All it teaches young kids and teens is that this is the way to be. This is the way to get noticed. To get famous.
And then we are surprised why there are 6 year olds suffering from eating disorders.
What else do you expect with role models such as these...
On another note --- don't you just feel like shoving food into her mouth??? Like a big juicy burger? I certainly do.
Until next time,
Cheers!!!
Thursday, 23 April 2009
Ending it all
Last night there was an episode on House that hit me hard.
It covered the topic of suicide. One of the member's of House's team kills themselves.
Not many prime time dramas shock me...after all, I am a big fan of Law and Order: SVU which covers issues such as sexual abuse and rape.
But for some reason, this one did.
I kept thinking there would be a mystery...such as the person being murdered, which by the way, was House's hunch. And honestly, that would have easier to deal with. That would have been almost expected by a television series. But once it became clear at the end of the show that the person did actually commit suicide, I found myself in tears. (No, the character was not my favourite and House is a show I watch only because everything else is crap!)
I think it had to do with a few things.
For one, this character seems to have everything going for him. He seems to have friends. In every episode, he seems ok in terms of his mood. He seems to enjoy his job. So why? Why did he do it? There was no note to say so.
The other thing that scared me was probably a lot more personal --- what if I have a client that ends their life? We are taught to conduct suicide risk assessments with clients where we assess ideation and intent. But what if, a client tells me that everything is going well, and then they kill themselves overnight?
So far, in my short career, I have not had a client kill themselves. However, statistically speaking, the longer I work as a psychologist, the more likely I am to encounter a few that will.
And it scares the shit out of me.
The only brush with suicide I have had was when I was 14 years old. A boy in my apartment block committed suicide at the age of 20. I can still vividly remember standing in my balcony with my sister as the police brought his covered body. He drank poison.
Back then, I thought all people that killed themselves were cowards.
I know better now.
There are some people that abide with the rule that if someone says they want to kill themselves, they are only doing it for attention...because if not, they would have done it. Then there are the impulsive ones --- the ones who suddenly feel like there's nothing to live for following a number of stressors in their lives. There are those individuals who feel so hopeless and can see no reason to live for. And finally, the ones that are feeling so hopeless but pretend to the rest of the world that things are just fine --- while at the same time, they are planning their good-byes.
If you know someone who talks about wanting to end it all, please don't laugh it off. That could just be their cry for help.
And if no one listens to that cry, their thoughts of worthlessness and hopelessness are only further justified, leading them to take action.
For those in Australia, if you are distressed or know somene who is, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800. For those in other parts of the world, do seek help if you need to.
Until next time,
It covered the topic of suicide. One of the member's of House's team kills themselves.
Not many prime time dramas shock me...after all, I am a big fan of Law and Order: SVU which covers issues such as sexual abuse and rape.
But for some reason, this one did.
I kept thinking there would be a mystery...such as the person being murdered, which by the way, was House's hunch. And honestly, that would have easier to deal with. That would have been almost expected by a television series. But once it became clear at the end of the show that the person did actually commit suicide, I found myself in tears. (No, the character was not my favourite and House is a show I watch only because everything else is crap!)
I think it had to do with a few things.
For one, this character seems to have everything going for him. He seems to have friends. In every episode, he seems ok in terms of his mood. He seems to enjoy his job. So why? Why did he do it? There was no note to say so.
The other thing that scared me was probably a lot more personal --- what if I have a client that ends their life? We are taught to conduct suicide risk assessments with clients where we assess ideation and intent. But what if, a client tells me that everything is going well, and then they kill themselves overnight?
So far, in my short career, I have not had a client kill themselves. However, statistically speaking, the longer I work as a psychologist, the more likely I am to encounter a few that will.
And it scares the shit out of me.
The only brush with suicide I have had was when I was 14 years old. A boy in my apartment block committed suicide at the age of 20. I can still vividly remember standing in my balcony with my sister as the police brought his covered body. He drank poison.
Back then, I thought all people that killed themselves were cowards.
I know better now.
There are some people that abide with the rule that if someone says they want to kill themselves, they are only doing it for attention...because if not, they would have done it. Then there are the impulsive ones --- the ones who suddenly feel like there's nothing to live for following a number of stressors in their lives. There are those individuals who feel so hopeless and can see no reason to live for. And finally, the ones that are feeling so hopeless but pretend to the rest of the world that things are just fine --- while at the same time, they are planning their good-byes.
If you know someone who talks about wanting to end it all, please don't laugh it off. That could just be their cry for help.
And if no one listens to that cry, their thoughts of worthlessness and hopelessness are only further justified, leading them to take action.
For those in Australia, if you are distressed or know somene who is, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800. For those in other parts of the world, do seek help if you need to.
Until next time,
Sunday, 19 April 2009
Handle With Care
Willow O'Keefe is born with Osteogenesis Imperfecta. It's also known as brittle bone disease. In other words, she can break a number of bones through her lifetime. It's a disability in that she is short statured, has to use a wheelchair and suffers innumerable breaks. It's like taking two steps forwards and one step back. On the other hand, she is extremely smart for a 6 year old. She has the vocabulary of an adult and absorbs information like a sponge. She is funny and witty. She is loveable.
Her mother however, decides one day to lodge a wrongful birth suit. There are a couple of problems with this:
1) she has to say that she would have aborted Willow had she known about the disability in advance
2) the doctor she is suing is her best friend.
Throughout this turmoil, relationships are affected. Willow's parents are divided over the suit and their relationship is in turmoil. Willow's older sister, Amelia, aged 13, is neglected. And she takes to extreme measures to make herself feel better.
And what about Willow? How does she take the fact that her mother would have gotten rid of her had she known she would break?
The book is presented to us through the voices of some characters, each of them talking to Willow. They include Charlotte (mother), Sean (father), Amelia, Piper (the doctor) and Marin (Charlotte's attorney). We don't hear Willow's voice in first person unlike everyone else.
This has a shade of 'My Sister's Keeper' and the ending is just as emotional (although I didn't sob...only cried).
There is no winner in this legal case because either way, something or the other is lost.
Something that cannot be repaired.
It also questions a lot of issues:
Abortion of an 'imperfect' foetus
Disabilities --- how many parents will decide what is 'too disabled' and therefore abort a child? Will there be a time when someone may choose to abort if they know their child is not going to be a supermodel or a genius?
Ethical issues in medicine
How do siblings of disabled individuals cope when everything revolves around the other child? What about support systems for them?
It asks all these questions and a whole lot more.
This book, in my opinion, is a must-read.
It's Jodi Picoult at her best. Once again.
Until next time,
Cheers!!!
Friday, 17 April 2009
Law of Attraction
For those of you who think I'm going to talk about relationships, think again.
It's something I heard recently through a friend. Apparently, if you want something badly enough, it will happen because the universe will make it so. All you have to do is think about it over and over.
Me, being the sceptic and cynic (can I be a scepynic?) that I am, obviously had something to say against it. To put it bluntly, sitting on your arse and wanting something is probably not going to make it happen for you or me or anyone on this planet.
Coincidently, I heard about the same thing on one of the morning shows on television some mornings ago. The host had a bunch of 'experts' to talk about it --- they included an astrologer, a psychic, a dream coach and a passion procreuter (God alone knows what that is!!). Anyway, seeing that, my scepticism about the whole thing was only justified. These airy-fairy mumbo-jumbo new age stuff shits me all the more because some of these people try and make it sound scientific. A law of attraction? And then using scientific jargon to assert their unscientific point of view?
Apparently it's also the similar theme on which the Secret is based upon.
Now, I've learnt about the use of imagery in achieving your goals and I can understand how that would work. To an extent. In goal-setting research or perfomance anxiety reasearch, individuals are made to visualise or image their situations as exactly as they can. For instance, say you are worried about an upcoming interview, imagery would involve you having to imagine what you are wearing, going to the interview, shaking hands with the interviewer and so on and so forth. It doesn't say you will get the job. All it does is help you manage your anxiety during the interview.
On the contrary, this new-agey bullshit seems to claim that if you want something all you have to do is keep saying it to yourself every day and hey presto! You got what you asked for.
If that's the case, how come I never got married to Adam Gilchrist??? Or how is it that I see myself as being skinny but I'm not? :P Having said that, I am willing to bet all my money that these new-agey theorists would say since it was something impossible, it wasn't 'valid' in the first place. They will have their explanations for things that don't work. Don't they all?
What concerns me though is, given how un-critical some people can be, how many of them are actually falling for this kind of crap? I mean, I know Oprah made a big deal about the Secret. And judging by the number of people watching Oprah, you can bet your bottom dollar, they will swear by what she says.
To cut a long rant short, I think if you want something really bad, and actually set goals or work towards getting it, you have a shot at being successful. Not by just repeating it to yourself and having the universe do the rest for you.
What do you think?
How many of you are into all this new-age stuff? And for that matter, has anyone read the 'Secret' or any of the other stuff on these topics?
And finally, has anyone ever had something they badly wanted because the universe made it so??
Until next time,
Cheers!!!
Friday, 10 April 2009
Oh Goody!!
What is wrong with the world?
I recently witnessed all the media hype around Jane Goody and her final days. And I'm afraid to say, I felt disgusted instead of sympathetic. Parky seems to agree with me.
I fail to comprehend how she was suddenly treated like some kind of saint or martyr. I fail to see how she was even promoting awareness for cervical cancer considering she was not really raising any money for it nor seemingly spreading any awareness about the same. In my opinion, it was a shameless way of ending her life the same way she had lived it...by wanting that 15 minutes of fame. I am not one to speak ill of the dead but hearing news about her every single day made my stomach churn. Watching her funeral being shown on the news made me nauseous. And finally, having the prime minister of Britain talk about her like some kind of saint...well, that was the last straw.
Now, if she really wanted to spread awareness of cervical cancer, I doubt she would have wanted her wedding aired or have the money for the 'exclusive' pictures. All in all, it was nothing but a circus. A sham.
Millions of men and women die of some form of cancer every day. You don't see them shamelessly parading every aspect of their final days. We had the likes of Jane McGrath and Belinda Emmett who did heaps to promote breast cancer awareness but died in a dignified manner with their families rather than the reality-crazed world watching their every breath.
As harsh as it may sound, I stand by my view.
It is possible that it's because I hate reality television (Big Brother type shows) and all that it stands for. Mindless rubbish.
But is this what the world is coming to? Are we going to have to see more and more Jane Goodys strut their stuff and have the whole world following it without even thinking critically??
Idiocracy is a high possibility.
Until next time,
Cheers!!!
I recently witnessed all the media hype around Jane Goody and her final days. And I'm afraid to say, I felt disgusted instead of sympathetic. Parky seems to agree with me.
I fail to comprehend how she was suddenly treated like some kind of saint or martyr. I fail to see how she was even promoting awareness for cervical cancer considering she was not really raising any money for it nor seemingly spreading any awareness about the same. In my opinion, it was a shameless way of ending her life the same way she had lived it...by wanting that 15 minutes of fame. I am not one to speak ill of the dead but hearing news about her every single day made my stomach churn. Watching her funeral being shown on the news made me nauseous. And finally, having the prime minister of Britain talk about her like some kind of saint...well, that was the last straw.
Now, if she really wanted to spread awareness of cervical cancer, I doubt she would have wanted her wedding aired or have the money for the 'exclusive' pictures. All in all, it was nothing but a circus. A sham.
Millions of men and women die of some form of cancer every day. You don't see them shamelessly parading every aspect of their final days. We had the likes of Jane McGrath and Belinda Emmett who did heaps to promote breast cancer awareness but died in a dignified manner with their families rather than the reality-crazed world watching their every breath.
As harsh as it may sound, I stand by my view.
It is possible that it's because I hate reality television (Big Brother type shows) and all that it stands for. Mindless rubbish.
But is this what the world is coming to? Are we going to have to see more and more Jane Goodys strut their stuff and have the whole world following it without even thinking critically??
Idiocracy is a high possibility.
Until next time,
Cheers!!!
A Century of Posts
Yes, it's that time. This is my 100th post.
It's a milestone... :)
Time to celebrate...
And more importantly, time to thank all the readers and commentators...because without any of you, I don't think I would have kept it up.
I do enjoy having a soap box to air my views...and to find a place where I can freely engage in my cynical views of the world. And to sometimes, just share.
So thank you for visiting, and please continue to do so...
Until next time,
Cheers!!!
It's a milestone... :)
Time to celebrate...
And more importantly, time to thank all the readers and commentators...because without any of you, I don't think I would have kept it up.
I do enjoy having a soap box to air my views...and to find a place where I can freely engage in my cynical views of the world. And to sometimes, just share.
So thank you for visiting, and please continue to do so...
Until next time,
Cheers!!!
Tuesday, 7 April 2009
Split the bill
During a conversation with some girl friends last night, one of them mentioned about being back in the dating scene. She has been casually going on dates and said that the guys have been paying for the dates.
Now I have this extremely independent streak which does not under any circumstance, let the other person pay for me. (If I don't have cash on me at the moment it's a different story, but I will pay them back). Even on the few dates that I have been on, I've been a stickler and have never let the bloke pay. I mean, I earn my money. I pay for my food or drink or movie ticket. I believe that even in future, I will be sticking to my rule.
When I said that to my girl friends, a couple of the others were adamant about letting the guy pay. According to them, if the guy wants to spend time with you, he pays for the meal. But to me, a guy paying for you is an indication of depending on the guy. Now I know it sounds very black-and-white when it shouldn't be the case...after all, everything has a grey area.
But I guess I wonder...women talk about equality. But then, at the same time, if they are earning, why have the guy pay for you? Isn't that de-valuing that right to equality? I can understand if you are married and you have a joint account of some sort, then it's money you are putting in together. But if it's just going out on dates, or for that matter even in a committed relationship, I don't see how you can have the other person pay for you.
I am sure there's several other opinions on this and I would love to hear them.
Am I being too harsh or trying to be too independent? I do depend on blokes (when it comes to assisting with moving furniture) so I won't say I'm trying to be completely off depending on men.
Until next time,
Cheers!!!
Now I have this extremely independent streak which does not under any circumstance, let the other person pay for me. (If I don't have cash on me at the moment it's a different story, but I will pay them back). Even on the few dates that I have been on, I've been a stickler and have never let the bloke pay. I mean, I earn my money. I pay for my food or drink or movie ticket. I believe that even in future, I will be sticking to my rule.
When I said that to my girl friends, a couple of the others were adamant about letting the guy pay. According to them, if the guy wants to spend time with you, he pays for the meal. But to me, a guy paying for you is an indication of depending on the guy. Now I know it sounds very black-and-white when it shouldn't be the case...after all, everything has a grey area.
But I guess I wonder...women talk about equality. But then, at the same time, if they are earning, why have the guy pay for you? Isn't that de-valuing that right to equality? I can understand if you are married and you have a joint account of some sort, then it's money you are putting in together. But if it's just going out on dates, or for that matter even in a committed relationship, I don't see how you can have the other person pay for you.
I am sure there's several other opinions on this and I would love to hear them.
Am I being too harsh or trying to be too independent? I do depend on blokes (when it comes to assisting with moving furniture) so I won't say I'm trying to be completely off depending on men.
Until next time,
Cheers!!!
Sunday, 5 April 2009
Random Ramblings
I saw Steve Waugh yesterday. For the uninformed, he played cricket, captained Australia, is involved in charity work in India, and was my first favourite cricketer.
I was standing right behind him in the line at the movies. He was with his family to see Monsters v/s Aliens, which was what my friend and I on an impulse, decided to watch (there was nothing else...and it turned out to be a good movie).
I must say, it was exciting even if I didn't speak to him. I thought it would be violating his privacy to go up and ask him for an autograph or a picture.
Plus, and more importantly, it's not India. Steve Waugh leads a normal life here and is not mobbed by zillions of people unlike in India. He also has to stand in line like each and every one of us to get in to the movie hall.
Anyway, just wanted to share this...that I was so excited on seeing him.
Until next time,
Cheers!!!
I was standing right behind him in the line at the movies. He was with his family to see Monsters v/s Aliens, which was what my friend and I on an impulse, decided to watch (there was nothing else...and it turned out to be a good movie).
I must say, it was exciting even if I didn't speak to him. I thought it would be violating his privacy to go up and ask him for an autograph or a picture.
Plus, and more importantly, it's not India. Steve Waugh leads a normal life here and is not mobbed by zillions of people unlike in India. He also has to stand in line like each and every one of us to get in to the movie hall.
Anyway, just wanted to share this...that I was so excited on seeing him.
Until next time,
Cheers!!!
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