Let's get experienced...

I have in the past complained about the kind of education system I endured back in India where most of the learning was based on memorising. The only subject I remember fondly from school was English because you couldn't memorise things like essays and compositions and reports. In fact, I think we learnt English really well in school.

One thing I've noticed about the Aussie school system which I really like (apart from having assessment tasks in addition to written exams) is that in Year 10, students have a couple of weeks of work experience.

Basically, the students go out to one workplace for a week in one term and another place the other term and suss out different jobs. They get to observe workers and assist (depending on the job, of course!)

And it makes me wish we had had something similar.

At 15, you are young and naive and have this egocentric worldview. In India, what was worse was that you had to choose your field of choice pretty much after Year 10. So basically, as a 15 or 16 year old, with no work experience whatsoever, not much knowledge on what actually jobs involve (apart from your own fantasy view based on TV), you are thrown into the world of making up your mind what you have to do.

Who the bloody hell came up with that brilliant idea???

I don't know if anything has changed. But if one thing should, I reckon all schools world over should adopt a work experience week or even month.

I saw some high school students this week with primary school teachers and observing them in their job. It's not a picnic as some people think. Managing a class of 20-odd 5 year olds can be a nightmare! I've observed it first hand (and I will not swap my role with teachers any day!!!). With students getting a chance to actually see what it's like, it would help them get a realistic view rather than something based on what someone said.

When I think back now, in year 10, I didn't even know what a psychologist was, let alone what a psychologist did!!!??? And I did have a fantastical view of journalism back then (Someone forgot to tell me that weird hours and public speaking were involved)

How many others are there that take up a career path based on what someone said or on what they saw on TV or the internet and realised years down the track that it wasn't what they thought it to be?

How many have regrets?

I'm not saying work experience will be the answer for everyone, but it's one way of sniffing out what's there in store...

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

3 more sleeps...

...and I'll be heading off.

The packing is almost done (except for the stuff I still use at work such as laptop, shoes, diary...)

My reports are done for work.

Parent interviews organised.

Emergency numbers given to clients at risk.

I'm a bit calmer on the 'crash' front --- I found out that Qantas is apparently the safest airline. (Why is that little voice saying there's always a first time?)

Just have to re-check how I'm getting to the airport.

And soon, it will be time to fly.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

If Only

If Only
I had my own house
I'd be fine

If Only
I had my own stuff
I'd have a big smile

If Only
I had more money
I'd be content

If Only
I had designer clothes
I'd feel confident

If Only
I had a snazzy car
I'd feel uplifted

If Only
I had a sleek laptop
I'd not worry a bit

If Only
I had more shoes
I'd be happier than before

If Only
I had gourmet food
I'd no longer feel sore

If Only
I had the new Wii
I'd be just like my mates

If Only
I had the XBox
I'd be one of the greats

If Only
I had a flatscreen TV
I'd feel fulfilled

If Only
I had the IPhone
I'd need nothing else

If Only
I'd known that having all I want
Would make me want much more

If Only
I'd known the answer to true bliss and happiness
Was not to have wanted all this before

The Reader

***WARNING: Spoilers ahead***

I watched 'The Reader' on DVD last night. And it is a beautiful movie.




The movie alternates between the past (1958-1966) and the present (1995) with Mike of the present (Ralph Fiennes) reminisces about his brief summer affair as a teenager (David Kross) with 30-something Hanna (Kate Winslet). Their affair is marked by him reading books on literature to her in addition to their sexual expoits.

Until she leaves without informing him.

Mike has no idea why she has left but gets on with life. He goes on to law school and during one of the seminars which involves sitting through a case in court, he encounters Hanna again. This time on trial in a Nazi war crime.

Mike finds out things about Hanna he could never have imagined. And a realisation: she cannot read or write. He has the power to 'save' her from a harsher punishment but stops himself from seeing her. She is too proud to admit that she is illiterate and would rather take responsibility for a crime. She is therefore sentenced to life in prison.

Mike, possibly feeling guilty for not having done anything to stop her from taking the fall, starts to communicate with her --- by sending her recordings of books he has made. And then, in prison, Hanna decides to learn to read. It was probably one of the most profound scenes in the movie and made me cry. She picks up the book 'The Little dog and the lady' from the prison library and listens to the tape recording and identifies the word 'the' in the title. She then goes on to circle all the other 'the's on the page. She manages to teach herself to read and write.

It is a sad movie.

But what hit me the most was how difficult life can be if you are illiterate. And how much we take something like reading and writing for granted. We can all read and write here (hence the blogging!) and we probably learnt to do so as children.

The thought that I would not have been able to read all that I have in these 25 years is something so hard to fathom.

And yet, there's people out there just like Hanna.

I can see why Kate Winslet won her Oscar for this movie. She has done a tremendous job.

A 5-star movie.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Forever mine

The first time they met
On a sunny spring morn
He'd never forget
The smile that she'd worn

The years that followed
Were full of bliss
Or so he'd thought
Until he realised something was amiss

The late nights
The trips away
The silly fights
Could only mean she was going astray

What had gone wrong
He'd never really know
How could a love so strong
Break as easy as a withered bough

If he could not have her
No one would
He'd tried his best to please her
And yet, was sorely misunderstood

As he watched the darkened river
Down his spine
Ran a little shiver
And the thought "Now forever, you're mine"

Green Day --- here we come!

I'm excited!

I booked tickets yesterday for Green Day's concert in December this year via the pre-sales.

I've only been to 2 concerts in my life so far. The first was Thirsty Merc at a smaller venue and the second was Linkin Park a couple of years ago. Both awesome concerts.

Now I'm looking forward to this one.

I wonder who the support act are going to be. I heard somewhere it was going to be The Living End who I also love. I could be wrong though --- there's nothing on either of their websites.

But I guess, there's no harm in hoping! :)

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Born again

No it's not about reincarnation.

Screenage Scribblings tagged me on things I would want to change about my past and myself. This is going to be a hard one because, even though over the years I have often talked about changing things from the past, I have reached a stage in my life where I believe that it's all those experiences that have made me who I am today and I wouldn't want to change those.

However, I'll see if I can try.

1. My weight: Definitely been an issue for me. I was a plump baby, and average kid, a plump teenager, an over-weight college going girl and then lost oodles of weight through going to the gym before coming to Australia. And now, I back on the plump front. Dammit! If there was one thing I could change, it would be that I remained at an average weight. I don't want to be
skinny (I like curves). But I wish I could eat without worrying about the weight I will be putting on. I love my food and hate walking. (Agreed...probably need to hit the gym again)

2. Playing sport: If there's one thing I wish, it's that I could have played sport while growing up. I never got the chance. If I could go back now, I would love to join a cricket or football team and play for my school or even a club. That opportunity didn't exist when I was going to school. We didn't have a girl's cricket or football team back then. The only sports for girls were basketball (being 5 feet tall doesn't help for that game!) and badminton (meh!)

3. My public speaking abilities: If I could, I would go back to the 11 year old that used to be fearless but then let one experience scar her public speaking abilities and push her to participate and not worry about what others think.

And that's all I got! Sorry SS, but I am okay with the person I am today and believe that all the negative experiences have made me the person I am. Even though I've written the above few things, if they had happened, I may not be the person I am today.

Who knows --- if I had played cricket and loved it --- I probably wouldn't be a child and adolescent psychologist today. Had the above three occurred, I would be a sports journalist on telly today! :)

So what about you? Would you like to change anything or any experience you have had in life so far? If you had to live it all over again, what would you do? I tag anyone that wants to take this tag on.

Until next time,

Cheers!!

What ifs

How many people do you know who get anxious when they are going on a holiday?

None, I bet.

Well, I know someone who does --- me.

Last night, I was tossing and turning for almost a couple of hours worrying (yes, worrying) about my upcoming trip to India. Here's a sample of some of the things that were going through my mind:

* What if the plane crashes?

* What if the plane goes missing like the Air France one did?

* What if there are terrorists on the plane? (Thanks to my flatmate, this is a new worry)

* What if it's raining really heavily when I get to India?

* What if for some horrible reason I am unable to come back to Aus in time?

* What if my friends have moved on and no longer think we are compatible as friends?

* What if people aren't happy with the things I've bought them?

* What am I going to do with my car in the weeks I'm away? Which friend do I leave it with?

* What if I don't get my packing done in time?

* What if they lose my baggage like Footloose's?

All these and so many more. The 'what ifs' drive me crazy. I know it's part of my Generalised anxiety behaviour. But I've been in control about my worries that past month after my CBT workshop. And now it's back.

The lack of control.

The unpredictability.

Both of which results in me worrying!!!!

Sigh.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

I love Mondays

Mondays are awesome!!

I bet there are some weird looks in response to this statement.

I love Mondays because it's the day that GOOD NEWS WEEK is on!!

Good News Week is a show where they bring comedians (and sometimes others --- politicians, singers, actors) and compete on the news that's occurred during the week in weird quiz formats. And it's hilarious!! It's hosted by comedian Paul McDermott and has two team leaders: Mikey Robins and Claire Hooper.

It's a format that I personally had never seen before. It's so politically incorrect it cracks me up.
My favourite guest comedians have got to be Frank Woodley, Akmal Saleh, Wil Anderson, Ross Noble, Arj Barker, Lano, Josh Thomas, Stephen Amos, Fiona O'Loughlin....okay, so it's a lot of favourites! Some of them are so random they are great! Others are wittier and drier in terms of their humour. And they all take the piss out of each other as well.

It's a great show because of the concept being so different from what we normally see on the telly. It may not be a show for everyone given the political incorrectness.

But it's a great way for me to start my week. And it has unfailingly managed to lift my spirits after a hard day at work. And helps me look forward positively for the rest of the week.

Anyway, I know this is a random post and I can assure you I haven't been paid to promote it! :)
But if interested, do catch it on Channel 10 at 8:30 on Mondays or else check out their website for episodes.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Weekend so far...

After a hectic week at work on all fronts, I had a nice night out having dinner with friends on Friday. Went to a Thai restaurant which was extremely noisy though and we literally had to shout across the table to be heard. It was good to catch up and was a kind of me going away for a bit dinner.

Worked yesterday --- my client cancelled but still had to meet with another set of parents for feedback on an assessment.

Bought me a TV yesterday. Been thinking of getting one and since the sales are on, went for it. Figured that I will eventually be moving from my friend/flatmate's place and will need one of my own. An interesting experience by the way was having an Indian salesperson being dismissive. I asked him a question about the TV and he just gave a quick answer and headed elsewhere...I saw him attend to an elderly couple and a single bloke while all the time I was waiting in front of the TV I wanted to buy (I'm seriously starting to think that some Indian men are brought up with not giving a single woman respect. If she's with her husband, then they will come and talk to you nicely. It's not the first time this has happened). Anyway, had a nice Aussie bloke come up to me and help me with the purchase and even carried the TV to my car. (Chivalry is not dead yet...)

Have done some shopping for family and friends in Bombay.

And today, Sunday, I'm just going to work on some reports I need to finish and will have to my bit of the chores...

So that's my weekend. Nothing flash. But still enjoyable.

How was yours?

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Buzz off...

This can't be for real, can it?

I admire PETA and all it does for animal rights. I love animals myself.

But having a go at Obama for swatting a fly?! Give me a break!

What next? We can't squish redbacks or huntsmen or a funnel web spider?

I refuse to be sympathetic towards spiders, cockroaches, flies, and other creepy crawlies because I don't see them as 'animals'. They are insects and pests! (A funny coincidence is that my flatmate and I have a fly infestation in our place and are trying to figure out how. We've killed about 10 in the last couple of days)

With this, PETA may not be taken seriously for all the other rights they do make a great point for.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Who would've thought...

...that I, socially anxious me, would be on a panel of speakers along with other health and allied health professionals for high school students on their career day???

Yeah, I certainly didn't think it possible.

But it happened today. And I wasn't aware until 30 minutes prior to going on.

I thought my morning was just going to be sitting at the psychology table to answer students' questions one-to-one or in small groups. But then, one of the other professionals meant to be on the panel failed to show up and so they decided to put up psychology instead.

And guess who the only psychologist was?

Yours truly!

Those who don't know me probably don't know that I'm not the biggest fan of public speaking. In fact, I only developed it better after coming to Australia when in my Masters I was forced to do several presentations as part of the course. Exposure to public speaking helped me overcome the fear to a certain extent. Let's just say I no longer finish a 5 minute speech in 2 minutes, I don't throw up in the morning, my legs don't shake, I don't tremble. But I'm still always slightly nervous and need some deep breathing and good preperation beforehand.

So anyway, once I was told I had to be on, I was shitting myself! I was on with an orthoptist, a dentist, a nurse, a speech pathologist and a doctor.

It went better than I expected.

I also had a few more questions asked when it was question-time about the profession.

I think though, what stood out for me the most was when later, as I was sitting at the psychology stall, a student told me that the passion for my career was apparent when I spoke about it.

And that was reward enough.

Because I know I love the path I've chosen.

I have no regrets.

I may have challenging clients, and this week in particular has been challenging in just the three days so far, but I love my job.

With a passion.

It also made me think back to when I went to this careers counsellor in Bombay after my HSC --- he told me after a few tests that I didn't seem to have a passion for anything in life.

Well, guess what?

I wasn't working as a psychologist then.

And I think I found my passion.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Oh Dear God

When are people going to realise that God works in mysterious ways?

I'm not an atheist. Nor am I extemely religious. I believe God exists. Whether it is Devi, Ram, Allah, Jesus or any other. I guess I pray because it is something that gives me hope when I can't control things happening around me. (Some people would probably refer to it as OCD but that's all right with me)

What I find hard to understand, is when people behave in this manner.

When people refuse medication because God will come and save themselves or their kids from an illness, maybe seeing a doctor and getting medication is God's answer.

When you are drowning and praying to God to rescue you, maybe the man in his rowboat is God's answer.

When you pray to God to pass an exam, maybe studying is God's answer.

I mean, seriously, how entitled does one have to be to actually think that God has the time to come in person to each and every one of us?

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Grass is always greener

I watched 60 minutes last night and they did a story on how more and more women these days are choosing to be housewives. They claim that even most women who are working would prefer to stay at home. (No they didn't interview me) Keep in mind, this is Australia we are talking about. Also keep in mind, this is something the media has looked into.

They featured 3 women and also spoke to Germaine Greer. Of the 3 women they spoke to, one of them scared me the most.

One woman is a housewife after giving up a job in the corporate world as an accountant to look after her children and husband. However, she has started a business from home and has written books about the same.

Another woman is the CEO of the Boost Juice company and manages to juggle home and work even if it is a struggle. But she won't have it any other way. She gave a brilliant analogy of how life can either be a rollercoaster or a merry-go-round. And hers is a roller coaster.

The third one, the one that scared me, is a housewife who cooks and cleans for her husband and who looks after her child. She sees to it that his dinner is on the table by the time he is home from work.

"This is going to sound really old fashioned now - I believe that financially, if
you can afford it the woman stays at home, cooks, cleans, looks after the child,
the husband works, he comes home, you look after him when he comes home because he's been out working all day and he's the one who's paying for...paying all the bills. That's, I believe that that is the role of the women and the husband"

"He expects, he does, he expects his dinner to be on the table for him when he
gets home."

A much bigger concern was when she said he was in charge of the finances. That he gave her the money to spend. And that she did not have a say in it. And she looked happy saying all this.

"Interviewer: So, when you say Frankie gives you the housekeeping every week how does that work?
Woman 3: Oh, Frankie just gives me a certain amount of money.
Interviewer: So does he decide how much you get, or do you decide together?
Woman 3: No, I didn't have a choice in that."

I wonder if she has heard of emotional abuse.

I'm not dissing women who choose to be housewives. Good on them if they are happy with their decision. But giving full control to your husband --- there's a huge power imbalance there! This woman doesn't work and is totally and utterly dependent on her husband. I worry for her future.

My mum is a housewife. But the difference was that she was incharge of the finances. Dad would come home and give her his pay. So even though he was the one bringing in the money, there was no power struggle there. He never said that there was only a certain amount he would give her for "housekeeping" Plus my dad helped out with some household chores like dusting and ironing (Bless him!)

This woman and the first woman were complaining about what feminists did to them in that they are expected to juggle everything which is apparently not possible.

I'd like to ask them: would they be saying the same if they didn't have all the opportunities we have now? Would they be saying the same if they were in a country where they were ruled like the Taliban?

Coming from a background where women are treated as second class citizens I know I am so fortunate for feminist movements.

For women's rights.

For being able to be free.

For being able to voice my opinions.

For choice.

For the opportunities.

If my husband turns out to be like Frankie, he is going to get his arse kicked out the door. Then again, I wouldn't go for a chauvinist any way.

I want my life to be a roller coaster.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

To gloat or not to gloat

...that is the question.

Oh what the hell, I'll gloat.

India are out of the Twenty Twenty world cup.

FYI, I don't like T20 and don't consider it an important part of cricket (give me tests and odis any day!) But given that India were the champions last time and made a big deal of it and pretended they were the best in all forms, I thought it'd be fun to gloat.

Ha ha!! (think Nelson from the Simpsons)

Not many Aussies will be happy though with the English doing well, but at the moment, I don't care.

The Ashes are a different ball game. Literally.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

P.S. I know Aus were out earlier but no one here gives a damn about T20. If it were the ODI world cup, it'd be a different story.

Of women in books

I recently read a couple of books by Indian authors.

One was 'Everything happens for a reason'

This book is about a 'good Hindu girl' from India who gets married to this 'good Hindu boy' (arranged marriage style) who was born and brought up in the US. They live with his parents and sister. She is asked to get a job in the US --- something 'decent' and she settles for a receptionist role at a fashion magazine. Through fate, she is promoted to the role of a journalist and has to conduct interviews with the rich and famous of Hollywood. But she can't let her in-laws or husband (who is a mamma's boy) know about this as they would freak out. She can't let them see the clothes she wears --- formal western clothes --- because no 'good Hindu girl' would do that. So she keeps them in a locker at the gym where she changes before and after work. She is treated like a servant at home because she has to cook and clean in addition to her work. Anyway, to cut a long story short, the family finds out about her 'secret' and what's more appalling to the husband is that she earns more than him. (God forbid!) She separates from her husband, goes back to India. He comes back for her promising to change and apparently all is well.

The other book I read was 'The Age of Shiva'

This one has a girl who does something 'scandalous' with her older sister's ex-boyfriend. And is then forced to marry him. His family is not as well off as hers. Her father is a bit more open-minded but her mother is not. Her father doesn't believe in religious rituals, believes that Hindus and Muslims should be equal unlike her in-laws and her mother. Anyway, her father and husband force her to have an abortion and play it out as a miscarriage in the first year of her marriage because her husband wants to make it big in the music industry in Bombay and her father agrees to help them move. Husband doesn't get much work. She goes to college because her father forces her but she doesn't want to be there. Fails her first year. But finally passes her B.A. Works in places she doesn't want to. Ends up earning more than her husband. Gives up the job because he is unhappy she is earning more. She gives birth to her first child --- a son (of course!) who she dotes on. Her life is fulfilled. The relationship between her and her son borders on incest. Finally, the son, after years of being smothered by her, decides to go to boarding school in Year 11. And then her life is empty. She decides to commit suicide because her life is no longer worth living as her son is grown up and will no longer need her.

Anyway, if I were to give a review --- both we easy reads and interesting. In the latter, I got a hint that the author was being critical of the way Indian society functions --- the hypocrisy within it as depicted by her father's behaviour.

However, the entire time I read both the books, all I could think of was this: Why are the women portrayed as being so weak???

In 'Everything happens for a reason', for instance, when she separated from her husband, I couldn't fathom why she had to go back to India back to a life where her parents would not let her work when she had a high paying job in the US which she enjoyed! It portrayed that the only way she was to keep the job was if she had a husband by her side.

In 'The Age of Shiva' --- who the fuck commits suicide when their kids move on in life??? Are you that worthless? Having said that, all I could see was the woman having a personality disorder. She was so jealous when her son got close to anyone --- even his own father. She didn't let him have friends when he was young. She was extremely possessive of him. If that's not personality-disordered behaviour, I don't know what is.

I understand that Indian society still has a long way to go when it comes to the equality of women but you would think that authors could try and lead the way than conform with the views out there.

Why don't we have women that are career-oriented but not unhappy. Not always looking for a husband to complete her. Or a child to complete her.

Then again, if I had to re-think that, it's not just Indian women I know that think that way. Other women do too. (as a generalisation)

And it is unfortunate.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

As we move forward

I read this article today in the Sydney Morning Herald about Arnold Schwarzenegger, as governor, deciding to phase out school textbooks in California. It is a means to save money and to assist children in having more up-to-date information by learning from the internet.

And yes, ladies and gentlemen, this means that the next generation is going to be obtaining it's knowledge from Wikipedia.

It's hard enough getting kids to read books these days. I am seeing more and more kids that struggle to read and form simple sentences. With spelling, don't even get me started! So now, in the near future, we are going to see kids probably get worse.

We'll see them twittering away while doing their studies.

We'll see statuses like "Math class is boring...." on facebook.

We'll see different versions of history based on which website has been accessed.

And what next? Are they going to phase out human teachers because computers can do it all? I mean, why go to school if you can just learn online, eh?

Am I being too cynical?

I like technology but I worry about what the future holds. It's developing so rapidly that one day we'll all have a computer attached to us on the palm of our hands. (Or are we there already??) I can't imagine a world without books (whether they are text books or story books). I don't want technology to rule everything. I don't want us all to become zombies.

On the bright side, I doubt I'll ever be out of a job.

Kids can only get more screwed up with the lack of social interaction and possibly family interaction. This means they will need therapy!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

30 questions

Ok...so Ersa said anyone who wanted to take the tag could, and I thought I would (because I'm too lazy to write a post right now)

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? My lips are all cracked --- damn you winter mornings!
2. How much cash do you have in your wallet right now? $40
3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR? Bore
4. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? My parents --- calling due to concerns about the media hype in India about what's happening in Aus
5. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? Silent. My phone is always on silent....
6. What are you wearing right now? Trackies, night shirt and jumper
7. Do you label yourself? Yeah --- Psych Babbler
8. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently own? No brand --- I just buy shoes that are comfy and don't pay attention to the brand
9. Bright or Dark Room? What am I doing???
10. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? Hmm...someone who is apparently similar to me and who I would like to get to know. :)
11. What does your watch look like? It's silver coloured and one of those slim ones.
12. What were you doing at midnight last night? Dreaming...I go to bed by 10-1030 on weeknights.
13. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? By a friend organising a meet up
14. What’s a word that you say a lot? F*ing hell (Does a phrase count?)
15. Who told you he/she loved you last?(please exclude spouse, family, children) Hmm...can't remember...been a while. Am I supposed to feel rejected or unloved now?
16. Last furry thing you touched? My friend's cats last Sunday
17. Favorite age you have been so far? 21, 22, 23, 24, 25....
18. What was the last thing you said to someone? Have a good weekend (at the workplace where I work Wed and Thu)
19. The last song you listened to? Raise the alarm by the Living End
20. Where did you live in 1987? Ibra in Oman
21. Are you jealous of anyone? Nopey
22. Is anyone jealous of you? Not that I know --- having said that, I have been voted for about 4 times on facebook as 'person I'm more jealous of' so there probably are...
23. Name three things that you have on you at all times? My glasses (would be blind without them)
24. What’s your favorite town/city? Sydney, Bombay
25. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? Funny story --- did it a couple of months ago. To my ex-flatmate --- the weirdo. My mobile phone got spoilt and turned out his number was not on my sim but on the phone and I didn't know the number. Since I had to get some of my mail from there, I ended up sending him a letter (as that was the only contact detail I knew --- address)
26. Can you change the oil in a car? Umm, no. But that reminds me I need to get it serviced. I will learn though.
27. Your first love/big crush: what is the last thing you heard about him/her? Doing some computer stuff somewhere. (What was I thinking back then??)
28. Does anything hurt on your body right now? Yes, my arms. I had to hoist myself up on the wall and climb over after work on Tue because the gates were all locked and there was no one in sight apart from one student who suggested I do that. Oh, and I don't have keys for the main gates --- hence, the jumping.
29. What is your current desktop picture? The pic of me and Gilly together. Due to the anonymity of the blog, I can't share it.
30. Have you been burnt by love? No

So now, I tag anyone that wants to take this on.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Let's work together --- NOT!

I met up with a friend over the weekend and our conversation made me think about writing this post. This friend of mine is currently pursuing her masters at uni. She was complaining about some of the problems she has been having with assignments involving group work. Unfortunately, for her, the groups are chosen randomly by the professors and she has had the worst luck.

Just as an example, she was in a group with 4 other international students who spoke to one another in their local language. She's an international student too but it was frustrating for her to sit through meetings where they would talk to one another in their language and exclude her. (I could totally understand given that I've been among groups of acquaintances every now and then back in India where they would speak in Marathi or Gujarati or Malayalam or other regional languages --- which I would not understand! I remember thinking back then --- speak in English or Hindi for God's sake! It's bloody rude. But anyway --- that will make a whole different post!)

So anyway, this got me thinking of my experiences with group work and group assignments.

I loathe them.

I'm a bit of a control freak which is understandable given I'm prone to anxiety and therefore find it hard working with bludgers (they piss me off for not doing any work) or other control freaks (we tend to clash).

I couldn't help but look back at my trysts with groups.

Back in India there were very few assignments in groups and I managed because I was in a group with my friends. So instead, I will look at group work through uni in Australia.

Fourth year: This was during my postgrad dip year where we had a research project as part of the course. We were randomly divided and had our supervisors. I ended up in a group with 2 others --- a Japanese international student (who is now a very dear friend) and an Indian international student. It was weird for us because we had kinda hoped to have an Aussie among us to get used to things. But, fortunately, we had one of the best supervisors. She was so cool and so easy going and so bloody helpful.

Anyhoo, this Indian girl had great ideas initially. She talked about how we should share the research articles we find etc etc. The two of us agreed to it because it would make things easier considering we had the same topic. Anyway, indian girl turned up for the first couple of meetings and then vanished off the face of the earth. She was hard to contact and made excuses of working extra hours or having a hangover. She was rarely seen at class. Soon she stopped attending meetings with the supervisor as well.

Anyway, we had to hand in our literature review towards the end of the first semester. Th night before the lit review was due, I get a call from indian girl to ask for some of the articles we had used in the lit review. I was shitty with her anyway and since I was out said that I didn't have access to a computer at that time. She then started talking to me in Hindi and went on about how Indians should stick to one another etc etc. Well, she chose the wrong person to try out the whole solidarity thing. Needless to say, I didn't help her (She dug her own grave by bludging so much). However the other girl helped her out by sending through a few articles (She's way nicer than I am!) Fortunately for us, indian girl got her just rewards for not attending meetings etc without us having to say a word.

I hated that experience of working with her and was especially appalled at her wanting me to give up the rest of the group's hardwork just because we came from the same country. In my opinion we were all international students in the group and we were trying to juggle a new country, work and uni. What made her different from us? If she had put in the effort, I'd have been more than happy to help. But she didn't.

Masters, first year: This one is hilarious and annoying at the same time. Once again, not knowing anyone, I was in a group with three others for two units and it involved presentations. One of the girls was the kind of person that doesn't bother listening to anyone else. It's her way or the highway. She would put forth her views on some sections and didn't listen even though the rest of us suggested it be done differently. Then there was a time she didn't show up to a meeting because apparently she wasn't informed --- this despite the fact one of the members sent all of us emails! We spoke several times about keeping it within the time limit. And then, the day of the presentation, she's the second person on after me and she rambles and rambles rambles off the point on a case study. The last two had to cut short their bits which were more important as it focused on interventions and practical aspects.

It doesn't end there --- for another subject at the end of term, she slept in! Luckily we were the second to present and luckily we knocked on her door. Else she would probably have slept through our presentation. She almost did that for another group she worked with and came in when they were already going on with their presentation.

Masters, second year: Ended up with a mate and a control freak. When I say control freak, I mean control freak! We were each working on our sections and sent her our powerpoint slides and she changed stuff within our slides. She threw a hissy fit when she had to wait for an extra 10 minutes for a meeting because we got held up elsewhere with a lecturer and didn't get a chance to text or call her. I'm not kidding --- she screamed at us and told us how bad it was that she was left all alone waiting like an idiot (in the crowded cafeteria, mind you). She then sent us emails about how hurt she was. I wasn't close friends with her but my friend was and it put a dent in their relationship.

I guess, suffice to say, I do not enjoy group work. I've had few good experiences but the bad ones over-run these. The few good ones have been in pairs (so they aren't exactly group work). There was one good one working with 4 others but that's probably it.

I am quite glad that at work, my role is quite independent. I do things my way. I don't have to worry about bludgers. I don't have to worry about another control freak.

How about you? Anyone else experienced any nightmarish groups? Or have you been that person? Whether it's at work or at uni, do share.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

You swine!

The swine flu is driving me nuts.

I'm not worried about catching it (and mind you, working with kids means I am a sitting duck anyway)

But I'm sick and tired of the media sensationalising it. Each and every day we have to hear 'updates' on the swine flu --- it started with 60 people and is now upto a 1000 in the whole country. Oh my God, we're all going to die!!!!

Or at least, that's what the media seems to believe. Would you believe they have a reporter in each state to cover the news?

And this, for something that apparently is treated the same way as normal flu is.

No one has died yet. More people die of the normal flu. How come there is no hue and cry then?

The media seriously needs to think about what it's doing. It's creating panic.

And I guess I am pointing more to Channel 7, 10 and 9. The ABC and SBS are not sensationalising or dramatising it as much as the three commercial channels.

Anyway, just thought I'd start my day with a whinge! :)

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

How do you turn out...?

I'm not sure about you, but when I was going through my teenage years, although I wasn't your typical overtly rebellious teenager, there was one way in which I think I was similar to all teens.

I never wanted to become like my parents.

Back then, it was unthinkable.

As I have grown older (and probably wiser) I realised that maybe it wasn't that bad after all.

And now, I find, that I am a lot like my parents. And funnily enough, somthing I never thought--- I am a lot like my dad.

I say funny because I was a lot closer to my mum growing up and dad and I mainly had conversations about sport. Yes, we had arguments about cricket in particular, what with me supporting the Aussies all the time. But that was pretty much it. Until I decided to come to Australia. We spoke a lot more about various things including my studies before I left. Once I got here, I talked more to dad over the phone than I probably did in person before. Yes, initially it was the cricket and football. But it began to change. Maybe some of it has to do with the fact that we are both health professionals.

So now, while I look like my mum and I am similar to her in that I can be quite anxious, I like keeping my place neat and clean, I am also a lot like my dad.

I cannot stand hypocrisy. I am all for being honest and upfront. I am not working just for money. Yet, I am a workaholic. I do not like politics within the workplace and do not get involved in the same. I am an introvert. I get road rage like my dad when people don't follow road rules. I react like him by swearing at the other drivers but in my car with the windows rolled up. I have rules about how I like things to be in my place. I have become pretty strightforward. I do my job because I love it. And I think critically and ask a lot of questions. (Actually, that last point there --- I did that ages ago even as a teen!)

Of course, there's other ways in which I guess I'm not like either of them but that's because of other things I may have learnt over the years.

My parents may be surprised at how I turned out. And maybe even a bit happy.

I wonder though --- is this due to the influence of genetics or environment?

Who knows?

And to be perfectly honest, who cares?

I'm my parents' daughter after all. And I'm proud of both my parents.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

So it begins

Thank you Indian media for making a mountain out of a molehill.

Thanks to your ridiculous outcry, things are likely to get worse for Indians out here...including the students you are so concerned about.

What did you think this would do? Get the few racists to open their eyes? Or did you stop to think that it would actually make them worse? Did you ever think that the fence-sitters would view this outrageous display in India and actually choose their side?

This article sums up what I'm trying to say. It has one of the few sane Indian voices.

At the end of the day, if anything happens further to Indians, Indians only have their own media to blame.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Revolutionary Road

Saturday night was a night in for me. My flatmate and I rented a DVD --- Revolutionary Road, ordered some take-away and sat in front of the telly on the rainy night.




I really enjoyed the movie. So much so, I was surprised that it didn't win the best picture (while I liked Slumdog...I didn't think it was all that great).

The movie is set in the 50s and begins with the main characters falling in love and getting married. We are then forwarded to their married life where she, April, is a housewife attempting to be an actress (but apparently not doing too great) and he, Frank, is working in a dead-end job he hates. They live in the perfect suburb, on a perfect street in a perfect-looking house. They are the perfect family with two kids.

In fact, it almost had a Stepford feel to it.

Anyway, April comes up with a brainwave one morning about leaving America and going to Paris and actually living. She decides she will work while he can study and think about what it is that he really wants to do in life. While hesitant initially, he agrees. However, everyone else (their friends, neighbours and his colleagues) think they are nuts. After all, what man can have his wife support him? How can this perfect family throw away everything and start a new life? How unrealistic is that?

The only person that thinks they are doing the right thing is a guy who has recently been in psychiatric care. In my opinion, the only 'mental illness' he had was being compulsively honest. Which everyone else fails to be.

Anyway, the plans of the Wheelers get foiled when he is offered a promotion and she is pregnant.
I love dark movies and this was one of them. I think I managed to relate to some things because US in the 50s had values similar to what I probably grew up with in the 80s and 90s. The movie subtly looks at women's issues. The woman is secondary. A woman must want to have children and if she doesn't she is 'mentally unstable'. A man must work and cannot be supported by his wife. The fakeness of society comes across even back then.

And of course, something that exists even today --- how we all wear a mask. We pretend. We all come across as perfect to the rest but each and every one of us is fucked up in our own way. Not just the people that admit to having a mental illness.

You.

Me.

All of us.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!