Being assertive --- I finally did it!

I spoke to L about the whole T situation.

So how did I do it? Ah...here's a story.

Yesterday I returned home in the afternoon and they were both in her room. They didn't hear me get back and go into my room. Anyway, about 15 minutes later, I hear the shower running and I figure it's L. I get out of my room to get something and hear voices in the shower. Yep, you got it right. They were both in the shower.

And I lost it. Not because I am a prude. I don't care that they have sex in their bedroom. But taking a shower together (read: possibly engaging in sexual activities) is crossing boundaries given that I use the fricking shower as well and more importantly, she doesn't clean the bathroom --- I do!!! And I don't particularly want to be cleaning up other people's bodily fluids!!! I decided there and then that this was the last straw. I was going to say something. I had had enough.

The question was how.

I sat in the lounge room fuming for a while. And then it hit me.

I could just bump into them when they got out of the bathroom and feign surprise that there's two people coming out of the shower! I waited in my kitchen with a glass of water and heard the shower turn off (after a long bloody shower mind you!). And then I walked towards my bedroom (my bedroom is right across the bathroom, by the way so I have to pass by to get in) And first L came out and said hi to me. And then, T follows behind and says hi too. And I went "What the...?!!"

And they laughed.

And that was my cue. I told L I would like to chat with her sometime and asked her when she was available. We scheduled a time for Monday night. And I went into my room. I was chatting with my sister and telling her to call me on Monday night at 9...just in case.

A while later, there was a knock on my bedroom door. It was L. Telling me that she had sent T home and would like to have the chat now since the suspense was killing her. And so we did.

I told her how I felt like I was sharing with 2 people instead of 1 and said I would prefer if T came home just once or twice a week instead of 5! I also said that I didn't care what they did in the privacy of their bedroom but I would prefer they didn't in the shower since it was a common area. And then, she apologised for T coming over so often. Said he would come over only twice a week. And...get this...she said they don't have sex (no sex before marriage...apparently)!!! I nearly laughed out loud and said, yeah you're Virgin Mary. I wanted to tell her that oral sex is still sex (as I tell my young teenage clients) because you can catch STIs. But I controlled myself! :-P And does she seriously think I believe that? But oh well. As long as they don't fucking do it in the bathroom or living room or kitchen or any bloody common area, I don't give a shit. Well, maybe I do. But it's less gross if it's in her bedroom.

Anyway, so now I will monitor it. One of my friends thought I should have straight kicked her out since L was crossing the line big time. I probably would have. If finances had not been tight. I might wait another month and see how things are going. And if I'm not happy, well, L is out. And I have been assertive so there's no excuses of not saying how I am feeling about things.

In the end though, I did it. I faced my fear. Even though I was shitting myself while talking to her...even though I could feel my heart beating so quickly, I still did it. I think it's because I was so peeved off, it made the fear a tad less!

So what do you all think? Is it fair that in a month if things are still the same, I say arrivederci to her? And are you proud that I faced my fear??? =) ['Coz I know you all luuuurve me!]

Until next time,

Cheers!!!