Tiresome Threesome

First, I must credit Gyanban for giving me the idea for the title and the post.

Second, no the post is not what you might be thinking about... :p [Naughty, naughty]

So, what am I talking about? Well...it's about how tiresome it is when you intend on living with one other person but realise that it feels like sharing with two instead. Resulting in the tiresome threesome. Three people sharing a place meant for two.

Let me elaborate.

L isn't a bad person. She's quite nice apart from being a bit of a grub. (I will talk to her about it soon!!) Now, when she moved in three months ago, she had gotten out of a 5 year relationship. So she was single. Anyway, in the first week, I met her best friend...a guy...who we shall call T. He was over a couple of times in the first week and she asked me once if I minded him coming over. I told her back then I would prefer if she told me when T was coming over...just nice to have a heads up. So she did. For a week. And then nothing. He kept coming over but she wouldn't tell me.

I always suspected T was more than a 'best friend'. How many best friends come over almost every single day? How many best friends have dinner with you on most days when they have their mum, dad and siblings at home 5 minutes away? How many best friends drive you everywhere (even when it's out of their way) because you don't have a car? How many best friends come over to hang out with you after you worked together, went to church together and did Bible study together?

Anyway, mid-December, L went away for a week (which was bliss!!!) and when she came back, they both hooked up. And if anything, T seems to come over more often now. I must admit, L goes out a lot. Which is great. But whenever she is home after 12:00 p.m. T seems to be home as well. He's stayed over a couple of times (that I know of). He's had a shower a couple of times (that I know of...both weren't mentioned to me...and one I noticed because I came home unexpectedly early from work!) When L comes home from work, T comes with her. There were days before the school holidays that T would finish his work at a school and come straight here. I find myself driving home from work and looking out for T's car. And my mood plummets if I find it.

There are so many questions I have as well --- how did L move on so quickly (barely a month) from a 5 year relationship with someone she thought she would marry and have babies with??? How can L and T stand to spend so much time with one another?? (As Richa said: "excessive togetherness syndrome"). Don't they get sick of one another? Why can't T just decide to move out of home and then the two of them can move in together? Why can't they spend time in T's house? Even if he does live with his parents, he has his own room!! And he lives in a house and not a unit.

So anyway, I started to keep what I call a T-log. Since last Friday (the 22nd) I have been keeping note of whenever T is over and how long he stays. So far, 9 days in, he's been over 7 days. Sometimes for a couple of hours. Other times for about 7 hours. This helps me have an objective measure when I talk to L in a week or two about how it feels like I'm sharing with 2 people rather than just one and if I really wanted that, I would have advertised for a couple in the first place. It's a bit hard to explain exactly what it is that bothers me --- but the best I can do is say it feels cramped. I have shared with 3 other people in the past and had vowed to not share with more than one other once I was out of uni. But at least when sharing with 3 people, the place was bigger than my unit. It was the student residences and was built in a manner that even when others were around, you didn't necessarily hear them in your own room. An apartment, on the other hand, is not built that way.

So anyway, I hope I can follow through on my decision to be assertive --- given that I hate confrontation and I am so not assertive. I am not saying he should never come over. But I would prefer it to be just 2 days a week as opposed to 5!

There's another part of me that just wants to give L two weeks' notice to move out and say that I want to live by myself...and then after she's moved out, to re-advertise. And of course, this time, be even clearer about my preferences right from the start. But I could be jumping from the frying pan into the fire with that scenario (even though I have seen some potentials online!). Plus, I cannot always avoid problems and need to learn to be assertive. Sigh. 

I cannot wait for the day when I'll be able to afford to live by myself.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

As one chapter ends...

...another is about to begin.

I finished my last day at both my jobs this week and start my new job on Monday. I am nervous. And excited. I loved both my jobs and had there been the opportunity to work full time in either one of them, I probably would have taken it. More importantly, I really liked the people I worked with. And I think that's one of the most important things at the workplace. You can have the shittiest day possible but having good, supportive and friendly colleagues makes it all worthwhile. On the other hand, you could love the work you do but having bitchy and backstabbing colleagues will take away all that pleasure.

With the new chapter in terms of my work like, I think I'm more nervous about the people I am going to be working with. I don't know any of them yet. All I know is that there is one other psychologist on the team. My colleagues from the jobs I quit don't think I should have any problems because I am apparently easy-going. That's good to know. Let's hope it comes in handy at the new work place. My main worry though is my social anxiety. I have overcome it big time but I am still very anxious when I meet new people and tend not to say much...to the point where I can be perceived as being arrogant. I guess time will tell.

Finishing my two jobs has been quite sad and surreal. But there's another chapter that seems to have closed, not related to work. I don't know if I mentioned this before, but both those jobs were in the same suburb. A suburb around which I lived since I moved to Australia. No, I didn't live in that particular suburb but the shopping centre there was my local one. I came to Sydney 5 years ago and barring the first week when I was searching for accommodation, I lived around this area. And it became home to me. Despite it's not-so-great reputation amongst other Sydneysiders. I know most of the streets. I know the shopping centre. I lived in one suburb throughout uni and then moved to another one 10 minutes away, still in the same local government area. I was even fortunate to get a job at the school within this area. And some months down the track, the other job as well 2 minutes from the school. It was only in August last year that I moved out of the area into another suburb in totally different LGA (which I love!) But since I still continued working in what was 'home', it did not seem like I had made a big move.

But now, I will no longer be working around that area. And I am not going to be living there either. And that's going to be strange. It's a chapter of my life that has finished. The first few weeks will probably be weird...not travelling down those familiar streets, seeing those familiar sights and viewing some things that are so typical of that area. 5 years is a long time. You get used to things and you begin to like familiarity.

However, it doesn't mean I cannot adjust. If I think back on my life, the funny thing is I've done many things in 5 year chunks. I went to primary school in Oman from Year 1 to 5. I then did Year 6 to 10 in another school in Bombay. I then went on to Year 11 and 12 and continued my B.A. in the same college --- another 5 years. And now, 5 years studying and working around the same local government area in Sydney. And each time I've had to move, I've had different emotions. I did not like moving to Bombay from Oman but I adjusted in the first year. I was shit scared when I applied for entry into Year 11 because I thought I would not 'fit in'...but I did by the end of the year and loved the rest of my time there. I was excited and nervous about coming to Australia but I settled within three months of living here.

So yes, I'm sad at the end of this chapter in my life...living and working around an area that was home to me. But I'm hopeful, based on past experiences, that I will adjust to the new chapter even though I am nervous and excited.

And as one of my friends told me today --- it's not like the suburb is going anywhere --- you can always go there for your grocery shopping if you want to make the effort to drive out there! [Wise words indeed!!] :P

Oh...and since the last couple of months has been so hectic with me trying to finish off my paper work and bringing work home, here's a picture of what my desk at home looked like until yesterday:

And since I had the day off today, I spent time cleaning my entire room in preparation for my new chapter in life...

Can you believe I didn't have space for my laptop on my desk?? I had so many bills and payslips and papers just lying there (very unlike me!) and I filed everything away and shredded others today and can actually see the top of my desk! All that's left now is to organise some of my papers (resources that I've collected over the last couple of years). You know what I'm going to be up to this weekend! :)

Anyway, hope you all have a great weekend.

And remember, as one chapter ends, another begins.

Unless of course, you are dead. :P

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie...

It's Australia Day today and I am extremely happy and proud this year. Even more than other years. [No it doesn't have to do with the cricket. For once. Neither does it have to do with me getting citizenship...been busy there but hope to get it sometime this year]

Every Australia Day, an Australian is awarded the Australian of the Year. Steve Waugh has been one (2004). Pat Rafter has been another (2002). So has Mark Taylor (1999...which by the way I find hard to believe!) But this year, in its 50th year, it has gone to someone relatively unknown. Someone who is not involved in climate change or similar trending issues. But someone who has been lobbying in a field that is close to my heart. An area I am passionate about.

The Australian of the Year for 2010 is Professor Patrick McGorry.

Who, I hear you ask.

Well, Professor Patrick McGorry is a psychiatrist who has been lobbying for better treatment for young people with mental health problems. And I for one, am stoked!

Professor McGorry is a psychiatrist who has been advocating early intervention services to assist young people with mental health problems better and thereby prevent outcomes such as suicide. He is also the director of Headspace across the country which is a mental health service for young people between 12 and 24 years of age. [By the way, Headspace is amazing and I'd love to work there someday!]  

Hopefully, this means there will be more funding from the Federal and State governments towards youth mental health. It amazes me that the government does not shell out as much money for mental health as it does for say, transport [Sydneysiders will know...I'm referring to the metro!]. The young people of today are the future of tomorrow. And I can tell you first hand, in this day and age, mental health issues are all the more prevalent. Blame it on more knowledge or lack of social support or social contact or too much media exposure...any way you go, the end result is that mental health is a concern. And not much is being done about it. At least not from up above.

The onset of mental health problems seems to be occurring at a younger age. And no, I don't mean just ADHD or behaviour problems (those are overdiagnosed in my opinion). Kids as young as 5 are being diagnosed with eating disorders. I myself have worked with 7 year olds suffering from generalised anxiety (worries about the future, performance, health, wellbeing of loved ones etc) or performance anxiety. In 1997, depression was present in 3 percent of children and 5 percent of adolescents. That was 13 years ago. I am willing to bet my bottom dollar it has drastically increased.

And as for teenagers, don't even get me started. I know I have ranted about them in the past. But I actually prefer working with teenagers than the little children. Teenagers go through a lot of shit these days. Bullying is a lot worse than it has ever been. Social support is a lot less. Peer pressure a lot more. Add puberty and raging hormones to the mix and voila! You have one messed up teen. There aren't enough services out there for young people. Especially economically disadvantaged young people. I can say that because I've tried referring some of them and there's nowhere to go. What people don't seem to understand is that teenagers also suffer from depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress, phobias, emotional regulation problems, eating disorders etc. And while it's easy to tell them to "get over it", it's not actually easy for them to do so. They need therapy. They need someone to provide them with strategies. And most importantly, they need someone to listen and normalise what they are going through.

We are always told 'prevention is better than cure'. So why don't we apply this adage to mental health? When it comes to physical health, we generally know what to do or what not to do. But does anyone really know what to do to prevent serious mental health problems? Of course not! Mental health awareness needs to be increased. And we need more individuals like Professor McGorry. And of course, funds from the government wouldn't hurt!

So once again, I'm extremely happy today. I just wish I had given my citizenship test around November-December (I couldn't because of work and then the change of jobs...and I've had to put it off for a while now) But even without the citizenship, I'm a proud Australian today. I am also a proud health professional today. :p

And if I am able to do even half of what Professor McGorry is doing for young people in my lifetime as a psychologist, I will die happy. 

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

The Plan

Have you had suicidal thoughts?
Yes
Do you have a plan?
Yes
Remember what I told you about limits to confidentiality*?
Yes
Can you guarantee your safety?
Yes
“I hope you believe me” they both thought
For Mike was sick of his client spoiling his perfect outcomes. She’d never realise the plan was actually his.

Written for Sunday Scribblings Prompt 'Yes'

*Every client is initially informed about the limits of confidentiality. They are told that if there is risk of harm to themselves or someone else, or if a file is subpoenaed, confidentiality can be waived.  

***********************************************************************

DISCLAIMER: I mean no disrespect to individuals that are in this 'client's' position. I would also like to say that therapists have to do a comprehensive risk of harm assessment and it is not as portrayed in this 55-Fiction. I also highly doubt there are therapists such as 'Mike'. No therapist likes having a client kill themselves. Please treat this as it is --- a work of fiction (despite it being morbid).

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Ten Things

I started the day with a rant. I'm going to end the day with a positive post.

Clarissa had tagged me ages ago to list 10 things that make me happy.

1. Books, books, and more books. The more the books, the happier I am. It's a direct correlation.

2. Test and One-day cricket. Especially when it gets competitive.

3. Learning. Whether it's psychology or just trivia...learning something new makes me happy.

4. The beach. I cannot be angry or unhappy at the beach. The water, the skies, the sand...the whole package has a very calming and relaxing effect on me. Resulting in happiness.

5. Having the unit to myself. Yes, I am easily pleased.

6. A trip to the Dendy for a great movie. Or for that matter, a trip into Newtown. I love Newtown and all the second-hand bookstores and the two amazing Indian restaurants out there.

7. Beer. Cold beer. Cold tap beer. Makes me very, very happy.

8. Good food.

9. Political incorrectness. Whether it's on the telly or with friends or at work. Political incorrectness makes me laugh which in turn makes me happy.

10. Driving in the car with the radio playing good songs. (Triple M or Vega)

So there you go...some things that make me happy. There are others not mentioned but talking to family and friends also makes me happy.

What about you? Can you list 10 things that make you happy??

Go ahead...and take this tag if you can!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Saturday Scramblings

 ***RANT ALERT***

Why do people make plans with you and then cancel at the last minute? 
It's almost like they had a better offer and the fact that you made a plan with them brushing off other potential plans means nothing whatsoever. It's disrespectful!

Why do people say they will meet up at a particular time but then end up being late? Every. Single. Time. 
These are people who are not late for work...so why turn up late for a social appointment. I can understand when it's something like traffic or something unforeseeable...but when it happens every time, it's a habit.

Why do skinny people talk about fat people like they are an abomination?
Not all fat people are fat just because of overeating. There's many of them out there that are the way they are due to genetics or other health problems.

Why do people put on a mask in front of even those they are close to? 
Is it that bad if we don't perceive you as being perfect...especially given that none of us is perfect anyway

Why do some individuals deny others from having a conversation just because they don't have a point of view?
I don't stop you from having conversations about clothes or Sex and the City or you new shoes. Please don't tell me to stop having a conversation with another interested person on areas such as determinism, feminism, whether people can be truly altruistic, and all the other zillion questions like these that run through my mind. It is not my fault you are not a deep thinker. [Sorry...narcissism alert here!]

Why can't some people not get that I like spending time by myself and it's not a bad thing?
I know you are an extrovert and need to be around people almost all the time. I don't. And I'm happy.

Why do people at shopping centres with strollers act like they rule the path?
Just because some of us don't have kids or strollers does not mean you can run over our feet or not care about where you are going. It's hard for some us to dodge you when there's three of you in a line with your strollers!!


Why don't people understand that feminism is not equivalent to man-haters?
I am a feminist but I have no problem with men. As long as they are not chauvinists.

Why is there only crap on the telly and what's with all the 'reality' shows?
TV is getting worse by the day (Apart from Big Bang Theory, Good News Week and Two and a half men) Whatever happened to the people that wrote shows like Friends or Seinfeld or Frasier? And who are the people that come up with shows like Dance you ass off and other such shit? What drugs are they on???


Why is it that even though I take a list grocery shopping I don't stick to it?
I end up buying things like chocolate milk (just because it's on special!) that is so not on the list!

So I don't have answers to these...but I thought I'd put it out there. I've had these questions occur over the past couple of weeks. I'm not in a bad mood or anything but just wondering. And ranting.

Have a good weekend folks!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Helping Others...

This week's Topsites Tuesday on BlogDumps is:

Helping Others: Do we do enough? Should we do more?
With natural Disasters like the tsunami in the Indian Ocean, the hurricane in Louisiana, and the earthquake Haiti, are we doing enough to help other people? In our daily lives we all seem to have our own natural disasters – does that prevent for helping others?

My take on this might be a bit different...I'm not sure. But please bear with me.

I know the topic seems to refer specifically to natural disasters and I guess in terms of how we help in these situations would be monetary or through food, shelter and the basic needs. I know countries as a whole try and do something in these cases...especially the more fortunate countries.

As far as individuals go, I guess not all of us do enough but as selfish as it may sound, despite having four walls and a roof over our heads, some of us may still have our own problems to deal with. We are all probably thinking about the next electricity bill or the next mortgage repayment and pretty much how to make ends meet for our own families...and this to and extent, prevents us from lending financial support to victims of these disasters. It doesn't necessarily mean we don't care.

I would however like to see human beings helping others not just in the time of natural disasters like these. And not necessarily through monetary means.

How many of us help an elderly lady cross the road?

Or help a mother with a baby in the pram get it off the train?

Or give up a seat on the bus or train for a pregnant woman? Or an elderly person?

Or hold the door open for someone who has too many things in their hand?

Or stop and help that person with a flat tyre or battery pulled over on the side of the road?

Or spend time listening to the troubles of a friend despite the chores waiting for us?

Or spare that dollar for a teenager that wants to use the payphone?

Or exchange a few words with the lonely gentleman at the checkout line?

Or take the time to show someone the way to get to a particular place?

Or smile at the person who looks like they are having a shit day?

So yeah, it would be great if we could all give money or food or aid to the victims of these natural disasters. But why just leave it at that?

Why can't we strive to help people out every single day in a small way? A smile. A pat on the back. A helping hand. A shoulder to lean on.

I'm sure we will be making a difference even then.

Mind you, I'm not saying I do all of this...I try...but I too get caught up in my daily routine that I forget. But on the few occassions that I do it, or that someone else helps me out, I know just what a difference it can make.

Try it.

It doesn't cost much.




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Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Love from Blogging Buddies

I received a lovely surprise from some blogging mates I've made. All for my birthday.

It was so totally unexpected and was a beautiful surprise...and it left me overwhelmed!! Blue Mist, Chatterbox, Comfortablynam, G, Matt, Nu and Titaxy together wished me on a webpage they created: Happy Birthday Psych Babbler. Each of them, in their own creative ways (which by the way, I have grown to know through their personal blogs) have wished me. And they gave me a present that showed just how well they know me! Prior to getting to the webpage though, I had to solve a crossword puzzle and then use the initial letters of the solutions to deciphering the webpage.

And I am so touched.

It means all the more to me because I have remained anonymous...I haven't disclosed my name or my birthdate or my pictures. And yet, they have all put in the time and effort to create this wonderful way of wishing me. All they know is that I'm a girl who is of Indian origin, living and working in Australia as a psychologist.

Or so I thought.

Through their posts whilst wishing me, I learnt that they do know a lot about me. Some of them know things about me close friends would know. And it doesn't matter that they don't know basic details like my name, DOB, address or what I look like. They know about my love for Gilly or wanting a bloke like him (who was mentioned more than once), for Australia, for reading, for Jodi Picoult books, for psychology, for cricket, for FRIENDS & Big Bang Theory and of course, for crosswords. I have been blogging publicly for a little over a year...and the aforementioned bloggers I have read only in the last year. Some only in the last few months.

It's getting harder to describe exactly how I feel. Words are not enough. I would love to give each and every one of them a hug (and mind you, I'm not a big hugging-person unless I feel really close to someone) I do wish someday in the future, I get to meet these lovely ladies and the gentleman :) I know we all live on different continents (apart from CB)...but there is hope.

Blogging has been a wonderful journey for me. And it's readers like these that keep me going. The reason I've stuck to blogging is because I feel understood. I feel heard. And I find that there's other people who sometimes go through what I go through...and I don't feel alone.  I feel like I can come home after a hard day at work and 'talk' to someone out there. I love the fact that I can have deep and meaningful discussions and debates on so many topics under the sun with all of you. Even if it is in writing.

So thank you...to Misty, Chatterbox, Comfy, G, Matt, Nu & Titaxy for making my birthday this year even more special....and to all my other readers and blogging buddies out there for 'listening' to me. It's all of you who keep me going here. And I love having you all as part of my life. Because yes, as crazy as it may sound, I do think about all of you every now and then during the day when I'm offline. :)

Thank you all for being part of my life. And for all the love :)

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

2 and 6...

...make 26.

That's how old I turned last week.

Did I feel any different? Nope. Because I still cannot believe I was only 25 last year. Like I've said before, in my head, given my maturity, experiences and just thinking too much, I think I'm 30-odd years.

My sister and another friend very kindly reminded me in their wishes that I was only 26.

Birthdays have now just become 'another day, another year' for me. No big deal about them. It may be because the last birthday I spent with my family was my 21st. Not that birthdays felt too different even back then but there was still something slightly different about it. Maybe because I got spoilt at home on that one day. :p

I have been fortunate to have dear friends here to share my birthday and I really value that. I think my best birthday so far in Australia has been in 2007 when I turned 23 and a mate impulsively decided we go bushwalking and we walked 8 kms and saw some breathtaking views. Following that, upon getting home, my flatmate had bought me a cake and we all shared drinks, home-made dinner and cake.... [I miss that flatmate!!!]

My birthdays are usually quiet ones. This year as well, I went out for dinner with some girlfriends and then we played a board game for some hours. A quiet night but a pleasant one.  It was especially nice to get a couple of surprise phone calls from two friends back home, as well as my family sending me birthday cards this year.

All in all, a birthday is just another day. With a year added on.

So whoop-dee-doo...I'm now 26. :)

And nothing feels different from 25.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Two Thoughts on Tuesday

It's time for Top Sites Tuesday on BlogDumps again and this time, the theme is about sharing two of our thoughts for today. I like this because it's so random! :)

Anyway, my two thoughts for today are related to what I did earlier today. As most of you know, I am partly unemployed for the month of January since I start a new job in February. So anyway, today was a day off from work. It's a lovely but hot day outside.

My first thought for this Tuesday is about how I decided on impulse to finally take action on something I have only been contemplating for some months --- I went to the beach (which is a 10 minute drive from my place) all by myself! I went for a couple of hours and I read a book, swam a bit and of course, got an amazing tan. All I can think of now is how glad I am I did it! I am glad I took action and got to experience solitude among the many people at the beach. I feel so grateful that I live where I do. That I can experience the beauty nature has to offer. The bluish green waters. The clear blue sky. The white sands. The bright yellow sun. It was bliss. [And I didn't have to pay anything!]

My second thought for this Tuesday is about people. Now, the reason I was not going to the beach by myself all this time was because I was worried about my stuff (car keys in particular) when at the beach and not having anyone to look after it if I went into the water (and let's face it...there's no point in not going into the water!!) But today I witnessed something that I have never paid attention to in all my previous visits to the beach with a friend. You can leave you bag at the beach (with a camera, mobile phone, house keys, car keys, driver's license and 20 dollars) and no one will touch it. It's like some unwritten rule. I saw others who had left their belongings around as well and were wading in the water but no one even comes close to snooping around these belongings. I saw someone leave an unlocked bicycle and it stayed there until they left. It made me think that human beings are still fairly decent despite the shit we see in the media every single day about people killing or assaulting one another. It made me think that there is hope for us to not turn into cold-blooded individuals only looking out for ourselves.

And with that thought, I leave you for this week.




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Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Not a girly-girl

I am not a girly-girl. Or a womanly-woman, if you prefer.

Never have been. And sometimes that can be so hard.

Especially when for some reason, majority of your friends are girls...and that too extremely feminine ones. Even the lesbians I am friends with seem to be a lot girlier than me (though they are not as feminine as the others). I will explain: for instance, they all love shopping, are very fashion conscious, not fond of watching sport on telly, not fond of discussing sport, don't drink beer (this one is only my girlfriends here) and the ones that do drink beer here, prefer the low-carb stuff. Another example would be this weekend when we all went to one of our friend's wedding. Turned out my friend wore 2 wedding gowns. I for one, hadn't noticed. I don't pay attention to stuff like that. For me, she wore a white gown that was very long. But the rest of the group noticed it...they were able to notice the difference and then there was the discussion about how beautiful the dress was and what each one liked about the dress. Everyone at the table joined in except myself and one friend's husband (the only guy at the table!) The two of us felt left out of that bit of conversation. So hopefully, you get the drift now... 

For someone who has always been a tomboy, I have very few guy friends. Back home I have a couple of guy friends and about the same number here as well. And I really enjoy hanging out with just the guys. They are not completely blokey-blokes but intelligent guys that can have conversation on a variety of topics (including psychology). But they are guys I can have a beer with at a sports bar without worrying about how many carbs I'm consuming in that schooner of Tooheys New! In fact, the last time my guy friend and I went out to the local pub, I suggested the sports bar section because they were showing highlights of the cricket and he told me that I am probably the only girl he has ever known to insist on sitting in the sports bar!

Anyway, the whole experience this weekend made me think about this a whole lot more. About how I really would like to have some more guy friends. Not just to talk about sport. But a blend of sport and humour and of course, serious stuff would be great. It doesn't mean I don't appreciate and love my girl friends. But sometimes, I feel like an outcast when I don't know about the latest make-up or fashion trends, or when I back out of clothes & shoe shopping trips or because I haven't watched 'Sex and the city'. 

Anyone else ever experience something like this? Guys and girls? Or is it just me?

Do share.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

An Open Letter

To the American media:

I am writing to you in reference to your ridiculous claims about one of our ads being racist. First and foremost, you may want to check the definition of racism. I thought I'd help you out by letting you know:

1. The belief that race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to others.

2. Discrimination or prejudice based on race.

I borrowed that definition from here if you would like to check it out.

Now, based on the definition, can you please explain to me how that ad is racist?? Just because 'Mick' decides to give the West Indian cricket fans a bucket of KFC does not indicate he thinks he is superior to them nor is it discriminating against them. Instead, if you wanted to do your research, you would realise that:

a) KFC has fried chicken. Period. So any ad of theirs shows people eating fried chicken. Whether they are black or white or brown or whatever.

b) If you bothered to view the other KFC ads for this summer over here, you would see that 'Mick' offers the same fried chicken to white people as well.

c) If you bothered to do your research, you would see there was a reason to use what you term as 'African American' but we refer to as West Indians in the ad...we were playing a cricket series against them. But then, you ignoramuses probably have no idea what cricket is. If you did, you would realise there are a lot of coloured people playing the game and currently we have had the West Indians and Pakistan touring our country.

Now, I'm not saying we are a land of saints (I am well aware of our flaws and our history). But my point is, neither are you. In fact, aren't you the same country where the Ku Klux Klan originated and still exists? Didn't your ancestors take over the land that rightfully belonged to the Native Americans and rob them of their rights? Just because you have an African-American president at the moment does not mean you are past being racist yourselves. All you are doing is being hypocritical.

We could say that you are being discriminatory against us if we wished to because you obviously do not understand our form of humour. We take the piss out of people. In other words, we make fun of everyone and everything. And yes, some of that includes being politically incorrect. But you know what? We know how to take that. We know our faults. 

We could also say you were being discriminatory against the West Indians. You refer to the ad as racist because it apparently portrays the stereotype that African-Americans eat a lot of fried chicken. Well, West Indians are not African-American. They are not part of your country. Referring to them as African-Americans is like referring to a Chinese person as Japanese (and is supposedly racist as well!!)

And if you really want to pick a battle, what about your television shows? The Simpsons for example portrays Apu the Indian in a stereotypical and derogatory manner by showing him with 8 children and thereby implying that all Indians have that many kids. If you think our ad is racist, what about Apu's character? What about the stereotypical presentation of Raj and his family in the 'Big Bang theory'? I have never seen these as racist even though I am of Indian ethnicity but hey...if you think showing black people eating fried chicken is racist, why not take it to another level, eh?

Finally, we did not put the caption "What's a white guy to do when he awkwardly finds himself in a crowd full of black folks? KFC has the answer." You guys did that! Our caption had to do with the cricket! Which again, you don't get.  Did you know that people who are quite racist themselves are more likely to see forms of racism in innocent behaviours and actions?? It's a form of defense mechanism used by human beings (and not just for race issues)

So, next time, before pointing fingers, I would encourage you to do your research. I would also encourage you to look at your own backyard first. You mind your own business and we will mind ours. 

Rationally speaking,

Sleepless Nights

It is ten o’ clock
And I’m ready for bed
Ready to shut my eyes
And rest my weary head

Been lying in bed for a while
But the restlessness doesn’t lessen
I’ve been tossing and turning
And it’s now a quarter past eleven

The clock strikes midnight
And I’m still wide awake
Various thoughts running through my head
Do nothing to dull that ache

I find myself thinking
Of all that’s come undone
With work, money, friendships and love
Until it’s almost one

Depressing thoughts of being all alone
The fear of what I’m going to do
Without enough money at the moment
And then the clock strikes two

I’m trying hard to stop these thoughts
As the time is almost three
I wonder when the sandman
Will throw some sleeping dust on me

I get out of bed
And walk to the door
I need some warm milk
As the time is almost four

I’m still thinking about work
And hoping my critical clients are alive
I run through all the upcoming appointments
As the rising sun indicates it’s five

I move on to dwelling on my love life
Or the lack of anything in the mix
And how I really need to get past my ex
The alarm going off tells me it’s six

I lie in bed for some time more
Thinking about all the bills to pay
I find myself wishing I could fall asleep
And wake up to a brand new day

A day when none of my worries exist
No problems with work, bills or love
A day when I’ve woken up from a peaceful slumber
And I’m truly thankful to the one above

Instead I drag myself out of bed
With eyes as heavy as can be
To get myself ready for the day
Starting with a massive shot of coffee

Work is actually good for me
As it makes things feel all right
But then it’s back home again
And back to another sleepless night

[Please note: While some things are taken from personal experiences, I am not having sleepless nights...I can sleep through anything! So please don't think this is what I'm going through at the moment because I truly am not. Most of the stuff is based on my imagination while other worries, I tend to think of during the day when not at work! :P]

In Cold Blood

This is a book by Truman Capote based on true events that occurred between 1959 and 1965. It is about the senseless murders of 4 members of the Clutter family in the village of Holcomb, an almost unknown area in western Kansas back then. The book is not a who-done-it. Nor is it about whether or not the murderers will get away with the crime. Rather, it takes us through the entire journey

To read the rest of my review on this book, go to Bond with Books or alternatively, click on the title of this post to take you there.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Salem Falls

***This review has been cross-posted at Bond with Books. Visit Bond with Books for views and reviews by other bloggers***

So here it is. Another book by Jodi Picoult. Salem Falls was published in 2001. The story is about Jack St Bride who is was a teacher. The book begins with Jack being released from jail after being wrongfully convicted and imprisoned for sexually assaulting one of his students. Of course, despite being released, he now has to register himself as a sex offender. Jack decides to leave his past life and start fresh. He wanders into the town of Salem Falls in New Hampshire. Jack befriends Addie Peabody who owns a diner in the town and washes dishes at her diner. He slowly starts a relationship with Addie. However, the rest of the townsfolk remain suspicious of Jack. He is after all, a stranger. Who tends to keep to himself.

Jack thinks he is beginning to move on with his life. But then, a group of teenage girls turn his life upside down. Since Jack had been wary of teenage girls since his first encounter, he has avoided advances by one of the girls in this group. Only to result in his downfall. Again. One of the girls who was rebuffed, Gillian Duncan, claims that Jack raped her one night in the woods while her 3 friends were present. Jack unfortunately, cannot remember much from that night but maintains his innocence. It doesn’t help that his own lawyer does not believe him. At first. Being a small town, Jack and Addie are subject to abuse. The girls get all the sympathy. But their stories don’t always match.

Does Addie stick with Jack during his trial? Or will it bring back memories that she has tried hard to forget?

Will Jack be convicted all over again?

And what about Gillian Duncan? Will she get away with her lies?

And why does Gillian do this? What deep and dark secrets is she hiding?

The ending will shock you.

The book questions the issue of ‘innocent until proven guilty‘ because for anyone who has been convicted of a sexual offence, it works the other way round: They are assumed guilty until proven innocent.

Picoult also looks at how some women can easily manipulate the system; a bold move in my opinion. The thing is, I’ve seen this for real. I’ve seen manipulative women/teens. And I feel for the innocent men out there that fall into their trap. I’ve seen teenage girls randomly refer to a male teacher who has been too strict as a ‘paedo’ just as an insult! If someone hears it and takes it seriously, what are the consequences for the bloke??

Finally, she looks at people and society in general. How we judge people based on their past. How we judge people based on a few things. And how there are very few of us that may be willing to give an underdog a go.

It is not as emotionally draining as some of Picoult’s other books. And it is a thrilling ride.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

My Kryptonite

Most of us know that kryptonite was the only thing that was detrimental to Superman. Yesterday I figured out mine. Sort of.

I went with a friend to Dymocks to purchase a book as I had been gifted a giftcard by another lovely friend. Anyway, I ended up buying a couple of books ('The Book Thief' and 'To Kill a Mockingbird') with the gift card. You'd think I would be satisfied. But nope. We then went to Angus & Robertson and I ended up buying another book ('Atonement') and would have bought a couple more if I hadn't literally run out of cash! [I stopped myself from using EFTPOS but it was a challenge!!]

Bookstores are my kryptonite. Or rather, they are for my bank account.

I can go to dozens of clothing or shoe stores but unlike most women, will stop myself from buying clothes or shoes I don't need.  Same with groceries or kitchenware (I love kitchenware and homeware stuff)

But with books, it's a different story. I bought 'To Kill a Mockingbird' which I have read in the past just because I really wanted to own it! And there are some more of such books I intend on buying. At the moment I have 9 books that I have bought in the last month and a half that that are sitting on my bookshelf waiting to be read. I'm currently reading 'In Cold Blood' for my book club meetup in February. I love to own books and unfortunately, prefer my favourite ones first-hand rather than second-hand. I think that's because I do re-read a lot of my books and like to leave my own mark on them. Literally.   

I think, given my partial unemployment till the end of the month, the best thing for me would be to AVOID book stores. And then, come mid-February, I can go back and not abstain any more!

So what's your kryptonite??

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Happy New Year: 2010

Here's wishing you all a very Happy New Year!

I hope 2010 brings you happiness, health, wealth, and peace. May all your dreams come true.

And to all the lovely bloggers out there, hope to read more of you this year!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!