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Cafe GingerChai
Twenty-one years ago
On this very day in June
I stepped into this world
A baby, screaming out of tune
I stand in front of you today
To speak about my life
Something I have never done before
As through my heart it puts a knife
My mother hated the sight of me
“You’re a mistake” is what she’d say
She never wanted to have me
As back then, I cost her seven months of pay
“Why didn’t you just erase me?”
I innocently queried when I was six
“It’s not that easy” she had sighed
“When it’s a human being in the mix”
I never missed a father figure
Until I went to school
And that was when I noticed
That others had parents two
I have never known my father
I have no clue of his name
Or what he does or where he lives
Or if he’s someone with fame
I saw several men come home
But none of them was dad
Whenever I asked my mother about him
It made her really mad
She worked long hours every week
Most days and all through the night
Sometimes she’d stumble home in the morn
Looking as though she’d been in a fight
I’ve seen her come home at dawn
With swollen eyes and bloody lips
And that one time when I was eight
She came with two broken ribs
When I was nine and still naive
I asked my mother what she did
During all those nights away
And sometimes with men going on trips
She said she had to earn her keep
To pay for the rent and food
“And what about you?” she said angrily
“Who would send you to school?”
One day at school when I was ten
An older boy came up to me
“Did you know your mum’s a slut?”
He asked with a grin, conspiratorially
I knew not then what it was about
Or why he would say such lies
But slowly things began making sense
All those strange men, all those long nights
Knowing my mother’s real job
Made me crawl into my shell
I didn’t want to make friends
Because I was embarrassed of having to tell
I decided that very year
I would focus on my school work
And my household responsibilities
My duties, I would not shirk
A teenager at thirteen
I began to blossom and physically grow
As for my mother’s nightly clients
An interest in me they began to show
It made me uncomfortable
It made me feel sick
To be leered and groped at
By these sickening pricks
I complained to her about their advances
Hoping for some support
Instead I received a slap on the face
And verbal abuse galore
She thought I was stealing them
And thus ruining her life
I think she had deluded herself
As each of these men had a wife
That was when I knew it:
I was extremely ashamed of her
Of how she demeaned herself with these men
A woman I call my mother
My teenage years passed in a blur
We hardly spoke, my mother and I
I presented myself as a happy girl
But knew I was living a lie
The day I turned eighteen
I had made up my mind
I was leaving the house
With my mother and memories behind
I found myself a job
At the local grocery store
To support me through college
To pay my rent and more
I did not hear from my mother
I thought I couldn’t care less
But occasionally I’d remember
Her moral support through my HSC stress
About six months ago
My mother finally died
She was bashed by one of her clients
Who damaged her fatally inside
I went back to the place
I once called home
To clear out all her belongings
And give to those that need it most
Whilst rummaging through her boxes
I noticed something new
There were several pages in her writing
Lying in a box all askew
She had held on to the memories
Of me growing up
And from what she had written
It seems that me, she really did love
I read through my mother’s notes
Dating from way before I was born
And whilst initially she seemed to despise me
As I grew, she was torn
I now realise why my mother did
The job she did each day
She had no other choice
If for me she had to get some pay
And so today, to you I say
My mother was a prostitute
No longer am I ashamed that I was her child
As I’m proud for all she could do
Author's note: This is a work of pure fiction. Please read it as if the protagonist were in a country where prostitution is legal. Catch the other Indiana Legends here: Avada, Leo, Moulee, PNA, Rumya, Sanchit and Tikuli.
Until next time,
Cheers!!!
