I'm around...

I've been wanting to blog. But things keep getting in the way. Tiredness. Stress. Anxiety. Feeling a bit flat. Personal issues. Work issues.

And as a result, I have been unmotivated to blog.

I hope to be back in the next few days. With more motivation. And more energy. And hopefully good news.

Hope everyone else is well.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Jasper Jones

The year is 1965. The season is summer. The place is a little regional mining town called Corrigan. In Australia. This is where 13 year old Charlie Bucktin, our narrator, lives with his parents. Charlie is teenager who prefers spending his time reading and writing at home, hanging out with his best mate Jeffrey Lu playing cricket or talking about a million different things, performing well at school, while at the same time having a crush on Eliza Wishart from his year. He leads a pretty normal life with his studious father and frustrated mother, toeing the line all the time, whilst being bullied at school for being a nerd.

However, everything changes the night Jasper Jones knocks urgently on his window. Jasper is a social outcast in Corrigan. He is of mixed-race and tends to keep to himself. Jasper is the one every parent blames if their child gets into trouble since the immediate assumption is that their child was with Jasper Jones. An alcoholic father, a mother who died when he was aged 2. That's all Jasper Jones has. And Charlie has never really known Jasper Jones. So when he sets out with Jasper in the middle of the night to his secret glade in the bush, Charlie is confronted by Jasper's horrible discovery. Laura Wishart. The shire president's older daughter. Dead. Beaten. Hanging from a tree.

Jasper Jones is not guilty. But he knows what this looks like. And he knows who will be blamed. And so, with Charlie's help, he wants to find out who did this to Laura. Charlie, who has so far led a pretty quiet life, is now burdened with this secret and the urge to help Jasper at the same time. Can they find out who really killed Laura? Or will Jasper Jones once again be made the scapegoat?

The book is beautifully written from Charlie's point of view. There are several laughs throughout the book. Jeffrey is a hilarious character and a great mate for Charlie. Their ribbing and teasing will definitely keep you smiling. Their hypotheticals are over the top. And I especially loved their discussion on the most courageous superhero. They are not just two 13 year olds having a laugh. They are two intelligent 13 year olds having a laugh. With substance to some of their conversations. Charlie's awkawardness with Eliza will probably bring back memories of your own crushes and how you were around them when you were Charlie's age.

But the book is not all laughs, of course. Issues such as injustice, racism, narrow-mindedness, and the crazy world of adults are all revealed through the eyes of a 13 year old in a very delicate and sensitive manner. Charlie questions why some of his school mates exclude Jeffrey Lu who is by far, the best spinner and a good batsman, from their cricket team just because of his ethnic background. He wonders why his father is spineless and his mother so bitter. And why people judge Jasper Jones harshly when in reality he hasn't hurt anyone. Jasper is symbolic of the scapegoat in society. The one people love to hate. For what reason? No one knows.

The ending could have been a bit better in my opinion but I wasn't too disappointed given that the rest of the book was outstanding. There were also some sections I wanted to know more about. A lot more about. Such as Laura Wishart's history. But on the whole, I thoroughly enjoyed this book and would highly recommend it to others. I give it a rating of 5/5.

Jasper Jones, the novel by Craig Silvey, is about the musings of the world by a 13 year old boy. Who after seeing what he has, loses his innocence. And loses his faith in the goodness of human beings.

Go read it.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!


P.S. This review has been cross-posted at Bond with Books. Check out the blog for more reviews by other bloggers, book discussion and beautiful covers.

How far is too far?

When does a TV show or movie or even a book for that matter go too far? I read about this teenager who killed his 10 year old brother because he wanted to be like Dexter, a character he idolised. Dexter is a TV show (based on a series of books I think) where the protagonist, Dexter, is a serial killer. I watched the first episode and couldn't watch any more of the show. Why? Because to me, in some ways, the show was glorifying a serial killer.

This news story about 17 year old Andrew Conley killing his 10 year old younger brother by strangling him only strengthens my viewpoint about the show glorifying serial killers. Until recently, most shows will depict a murderer or a serial killer or even a thief facing consequences. Getting caught. Being busted. Unfortunately, in Dexter, he has a professional job during the day and doesn't seem to be anywhere near having the expected consequences. He seems to be able to justify his serial killing. But then, in the real world, when a young man whose decision making abilities are not well-developed and who possibly has a mental health disorder gets influenced by this character, who has an answer to that? Given that it's the real world, this young man is not going to be glorified like Dexter. Instead, he is now sentenced to life.

We all know that TV shows and movies have been showing a lot more violence and a lot more sexually explicit material now as compared to before. But where should producers and writers draw a line? What happens when young people with other mental health problems believe these fictional shows to be true? When they think that violence is okay. Or killing someone is acceptable. I know there is supposedly a rating such as 15 years and over or mature audiences or parental guidance required. But no one follows that! Especially when these shows are at a time when kids or teens are still awake. And with the internet, who even cares about the time a show is aired!

Personally, my stance is that there shouldn't be shows or movies or books where the protagonist is a murderer or a serial killer and gets away with it. It's not that I don't watch shows about murder. But they usually have the consequences they deserve. Again, I know the real world is not a fair place and not every killer gets caught. But the television world creates a fantasy world for some people and seems to be taking things really too far. What next? Actually seeing someone behead or stab or rape a victim? Scene by scene?

Call me cynical...but things probably will only get worse. The television and movie world is not going to be policed when it comes to what they put out there. And people like Andrew will continue to get entangled in it's clutches.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Mental Health Week

This week is Mental Health Week. I thought it would be a good idea to blog a bit about mental health awareness and the importance of therapy or medication.

• Did you know that one in five Australians will experience a mental health disorder at least once in their lifetime? [Source]
• Did you know that in Australia, the greatest number of people suffering from a mental illness are between the ages of 18 and 24? And that 14 percent of children and adolescents between 4 and 17 years suffer from mental health problems? [Source]
• Did you know that one in four American adults suffer from a mental health disorder each year? [Source]
• Did you know that over a 100 million people suffer from mental illnesses in China? And almost 70 percent of them do not receive appropriate treatment? [Source]
• Did you know that according to the World Health Organisation, one in every 4 people all over the world develops at least one mental health disorder in their lifetime? [Source]
• And finally, according to the WHO, suicide claims a life every 30 seconds. [Source]

These statistics give you something to think about.

Mental health disorders include depressive disorders, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, schizophrenia, eating disorders among others. They affect a person's education or work, their social relationships and their general functioning.

Till date, there are common myths and misconceptions that continue to exist about mental health problems which only makes the stigma associated with it worse.

• You are weak if you complain about mental health disorders such as depression or anxiety: No. You are not. A mental health problem like depression can be very debilitating. In it's worst form, depression can affect all aspects of a person's life to the point they isolate themselves from their friends, family and work, sleep all day or hardly sleep and just see no future at all. It is not something a person can just "get over" and trivialising it is not going to make it go away. The 'tough love' act does not 'cure' depression either. You might be the strongest person on the planet but given the right genes and the right environmental triggers, you can suffer from a mental health disorder at some point in your life. Mental illnesses do not discriminate between people based on age, gender, race, wealth, or physical health. Remember that.   
• Once you are diagnosed with a mental health disorder, there is no hope for you in life: Imagine believing this when you are suffering from mental health problems. How do you reckon it will make you feel? A whole lot worse, I bet. There is research out there to show that you can manage problems like anxiety or depression with therapy or medication and psychotic illnesses through medication. It is not the end of the world. You can go back to work, have a relationship, have children, a family, and well, basically, have a life. You may not necessarily 'cure' the generalised anxiety or the depression but you learn to manage it a whole lot better and notice a reduction in the symptoms given the right treatment. 
• People who self-harm are just engaging in attention-seeking behaviour: This is not true in most of the cases. People who self-harm tend to cover their cuts either by cutting on parts of the body such as their thighs or legs or else using accessories such as jewellery or wristbands or wearing long sleeves. Individuals tend to self-harm because they know of no other way to cope with their emotions and the emotional pain. The physical pain gives them something else to focus on. So if you do know someone who self-harms, don't just brush them off as a person seeking attention from others but rather refer them to seek therapy. There is something else going on. Something else they are hiding deep down. 
• People with a mental illness are violent and must be avoided: Research shows that people who are receiving treatment for a mental illness are no more likely to be violent than the general population and instead are more likely to harm themselves. [Source] It is a sad misconception and hence more often than not, you will notice that people avoid those with mental illnesses such as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. 
• Mental illness is contagious: No it is not. Just by hanging out with someone with schizophrenia or anorexia, you are not going to 'catch' it like the common cold. Spending time with someone who is extremely depressed can be mentally exhausting but you are not going to become depressed just because you are spending time with them.  
• Only medication can help someone with mental health disorders: Wrong again. For disorders such as depression, social anxiety, specific phobias, separation anxiety, post-traumatic stress, there is evidence to show that cognitive-behavioural therapeutic interventions are beneficial. This is considered to be the gold-standard in therapy and so far has been proven to be most efficacious through randomised-controlled studies. Additionally, acceptance and commitment therapy is gaining ground as is interpersonal psychotherapy. None of these involve sitting on the couch and telling the therapist everything from the time you were a baby to your current state. Don't believe the movies. Medication can certainly help with some of the above disorders and definitely for disorders like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, but along with therapy, it is even more beneficial.
• People who commit suicide are cowards or stupid: Sadly, I believed the coward bit about a decade or so ago. I don't anymore. People who commit suicide or attempted it do so because they see no other choice. Living for them, is not a choice. They see no point in living. Everything is hopeless. And based on that, they make the rash decision of ending it all. The hundreds of children that seem to be committing suicide in India following poor exam results are most likely in this boat. Where they see a  bad Year 10 or Year 12 mark as signifying the end of their lives literally. And deal with it the only way they know...killing themselves.

On a final note, people with mental illness are not a lost cause. If you know someone who is suffering but is not seeking help, do encourage them to do so. If you are suffering but hiding it from everyone, do seek professional help. It is not something to be ashamed of. It isn't a sin to admit you are struggling.  It isn't weak if you need to seek help in order to cope with your own life.

See the statistics at the start of the post.

You are not alone. Definitely not.

Until next time,

Cheers!!! 

Baby on Board

When on the road one thing I notice is cars with this sign mostly on the rear window:

Yep, Baby on Board. Some others have 'Child on Board'. I assume the reason they have this sign is to inform other drivers that there is a baby in the car (or a child) and therefore the drivers need to drive carefully.

I have a question to the people that display these signs: Does this mean it's okay for me to ram into a car or drive carelessly if there is no baby or child on board? Do you think an adult's life is not worth as much as a baby or a child? Do you drive recklessly when your baby is at home?

Just thinking out loud.

Because when I got my license, I was under the impression that I had to drive safely at all times. Not just when there is a baby or child in the car in front of me.

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On a different note, Over Cups of Coffee turned 3 a couple of days ago. I'm late. As usual. But Happy Birthday to my blog. And thank you to all the readers (regulars, lurkers, occassional guests...) who continue to visit and share thoughts Over Cups of Coffee! You make blogging even more worthwhile than it already is...

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Acts of Bullying

I read last week about this 18 year old boy, Tyler Clementi in the US committing suicide last week after a sex video featuring him without his permission was broadcast online. Tyler's roommate at uni, Dharun Ravi and a friend, Molly Wei managed to stream a live video via their webcam of Tyler with another male. He did realise that he was spied upon eventually and made the sad decision of ending his life. Both the bullies have been charged with invasion of privacy although there are calls for manslaughter charges as well as hate-crime charges. Tyler jumped off a bridge and ended his life.

I feel for Tyler. And I fail to comprehend what kind of people think it's actually funny to broadcast someone's private affairs to the rest of the world. You have got to be really really sick in the head. It's not just a prank gone wrong. It was planned and executed. To embarrass the young man. And possibly take a cheap shot at his sexual orientation. Personally, I think the bullies do deserve charges of manslaughter or at least something about abetting a suicide. The kid was 18! He had his entire life ahead of him. And just because his roommate didn't agree with his sexual orientation doesn't give anyone the right to demean him.

Bullying of any form can be horrible. Bullying doesn't just involve calling someone names once or beating someone up once. It is constant. It occurs day in and day out. Once upon a time bullying was probably only at school. A child felt safe upon going home. Unfortunately, times have changed. With the internet and cyberspace, home isn't a safe environment any longer. Unless one is a hermit. Kids and teens get bullied online --- on facebook, bebo, twitter or even through blogs. Lewd pictures get posted online. Lewd or embarrassing videos are posted on youtube. Someone's mobile number can be broadcast with the message saying "call me, I give free blow jobs" [I had a client who this last thing was done to] It's insane. And it really makes you question whether anyone under 21 should be allowed to even use technology when they don't have the capacity to use their prefrontal cortex!!! Bullying has reached new heights these days with the growth in technology. And I for one am glad I am not a school-going student in this day and age!

I do hope the case results in convictions of some form. And time in gaol. Only then are people going to learn that you cannot get away with prejudicial acts of bullying. It will set a precedent for any other cases in future. And Tyler's death will not have been in vain.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!