A Different World

I have had a pretty sheltered life growing up. I'll be the first to admit that. Grew up in a pretty decent home. A relatively normal family. Had a pretty good upbringing. I've been lucky. And sheltered.

But my job has opened my eyes to a lot more than just what the media presents. Why do I say this? Well, in my Book Club, I'm the youngest member and the other three individuals are in their thirties and forties. We have read books like The Slap or Jasper Jones, all of which have some unhappy themes or things we don't always encounter in day to day life. Some of the members have found these themes confronting or even unimaginable. And then, I want to read the book Room. However, none of the members want to read it because of the confronting themes involving a child. And I think that's the main thing even with the other books. When there's something negative happening to children, because they all have kids and live a sheltered life (which I have had too!) they find it a bit too much to handle. Even if it is fiction.

I, on the other hand, am able to distance myself.

Because I hear these things first hand.

Things most people normally see on the telly, I tend to view much closer to home (so to speak). I have had kids and teenagers tell me about physical abuse. About domestic violence. About sexual abuse. Most of these have been horrific stories. But I have been able to listen to these. And not cry. Or cringe. I have somehow been able to distance myself and not get emotionally involved. I understand it's a shame and it's horrible and unfair. But I can listen to it and provide them with strategies to cope instead (for those who want it I mean).

I guess due to my profession, I have learnt how to distance myself from horror stories. I am in a completely different world from where I grew up. Years ago, I led such a sheltered life I didn't even know things like sexual abuse happened to young children. And from people known to them. Even when I was doing my bachelors, I wasn't sure how I would cope as a psychologist given I was such a sensitive person. I was (and still sometimes am) able to cry at the drop of a hat. So what changed? I guess I just became more professional.

I wonder though --- is it a good thing?

I mean, it's good that I can distance myself when I am with my clients (After all, they don't want to see their psychologist freak out!). But I find that when I watch news on the telly on such matters or read novels about such issues, I have the same feeling. The distance. The barrier. It sickens me but not to the extent it seems to sicken or scare or disgust other people not in this profession. Have I just become cold? And unable to feel?

I don't necessarily need an answer. But just thought I'd put it out there. Most of my friends here are psychologists and in the same boat as me. And it took Book Club members who are in completely different professions like architecture, finance or media to make me realise just how different the world I reside in is. Some people could go through their entire lives without being touched or faced by issues such as these. And I have heard so much in three years and given that it's a profession I intend to continue in, I am sure there's more to come.

I guess it's no wonder I'm as cynical as I am.

Until next time,

Cheers!!! 

Wordless Wednesday - Sculptures by the Sea

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Bibliophilia - The tag

I decided to borrow this tag from Prats given that I am a bibliophile and that I have been missing in action from blogosphere for a while. So here goes...

Favourite childhood book? Malory Towers series. And St. Clare's series. By Enid Blyton.

What are you reading right now? Wonders of a Godless World by Andrew McGahan and re-reading To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee.

Bad book habit? Unable to go to the toilet without one. Not to pee of course.


Do you have an e-reader? No. Never. Nope. Nah. Did I say no?

Do you prefer to read one book at a time or several at once? Prefer reading one at a time but lately have been experimenting with more than one due to book club commitments. However, I notice that the more interesting book ultimately wins.

Have your reading habits changed since starting a blog? Not really...if anything, I have been buying a lot more books thanks to all the book reviews out there!


Least favourite book you read this year (so far)? Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger

Favourite book you’ve read this year? The Messenger by Markus Zusak and A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry

How often do you read out of your comfort zone? Mostly when it's related to the book club. Or if someone highly recommends a book I normally wouldn't read.

What is your reading comfort zone? Fiction. I think the genre I like is referred to as literary fiction in the book stores.

Can you read on the bus? Yes. And the train. In fact, I sometimes wished I worked in a place I could just take public transport to. Imagine how many books I could get through!!!

Favourite place to read? The beach. I love lying in the sun after a cool swim and then drying out with my favourite book. The sound of the waves. The smell of the ocean. The feel of the sand and sun. Bliss. Shame it's only a few months a year.

What is your policy on book lending? Only to those who I know will handle it with care and respect.

Do you ever dog-ear books? Used to when I was younger but no longer do it.

Do you ever write in the margins of your books? The only time I did that was when I was studying English literature and had bought second hand copies of Oliver Twist, Mill on the Floss and Grapes of wrath. Didn't enjoy the subject or the books and wasn't too fussed about writing on it.

Not even with text books? I probably did write in some of my textbooks at school and a few psych texts.

What is your favourite language to read in? English.

What makes you love a book? Plot, Meaning, Characters.

What will inspire you to recommend a book? If it's got a great message or is just an awesome read, I will recommend it.

Favourite genre? Literary Fiction and Thriller/Mystery novels. However, lately the latter no longer intrigues me as I tend to solve the mysteries myself.

Genre you rarely read (but wish you did?) Chick-lit. The only reason being I may be a little less cynical if I read something fun! :P

Favourite biography? True Colours - Adam Gilchrist.

Have you ever read a self-help book? Only as part of my psychology training: 'A Guide to Rational Living' by Albert Ellis and 'The Happiness Trap' by Russ Harris. They are psychology books for the lay person and a good way for me to use strategies I teach clients as well as teach them in a simple manner. I highly recommend both!

Most inspirational book you’ve read this year (fiction or non-fiction)? The Messenger by Markus Zusak. I loved the message it conveyed.

Favourite reading snack? Rarely eat while reading but if I do, it tends to be biscuits. Savoury ones.

Name a case in which hype ruined your reading experience: The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. It didn't end up being as great as my friend, bloggers or even the few people at the store said. Probably because my expectations were through the roof.

How often do you agree with critics about a book? Not very often. The professional ones I mean. Among friends and bloggers, I notice that if I have similar tastes, I do end up agreeing with their views.

How do you feel about giving bad/negative reviews? Not too fussed to be honest.

If you could read in a foreign language, which language would you chose? Italian maybe...don't ask me why because I have no clue myself


Most intimidating book you’ve ever read? The Fountainhead. Read it when I was in college. Didn't particularly like it then.People are telling me it would be good to read it at my current stage in life. I'm still contemplating that.

Most intimidating book you’re too nervous to begin? None

Favourite Poet? Ogden Nash.

Favourite fictional character? Ron Weasley (from Harry Potter series) and Anna (from My Sister's Keeper)

Favourite fictional villain? Lord Voldermort.

Books I’m most likely to bring on vacation? Anything on my bookshelf

The longest I’ve gone without reading: Two years when I was doing my B.A. In my first and second year, I had chosen English Lit as one of my subjects and ironically, it put me off reading for pleasure. Thankfully, I got my groove back in third year when I was only doing psych subjects! :)

Name a book that you could/would not finish: Gone with the wind. I remember reading the first chapter and attempting to do so thrice and didn't get past it. The other one at the moment seems to be Salman Rushdie's 'Midnight's Children' and 'Satanic Verses'. Let's see if I get into it next year...they are on the bookshelf.

What distracts you easily when you’re reading? Blogging

Favourite film adaptation of a novel? 'A Time to Kill' by John Grisham.

Most disappointing film adaptation? Harry Potter. Yes, I refused to watch after the third one. Ruining Prisoner of Azkaban was the last straw.

The most money I’ve ever spent in the bookstore at one time? Last year when I went to India...can't remember the exact amount but bought about 10-12 books in one go.

How often do you skim a book before reading it? Rarely...mostly I just read the back cover

What would cause you to stop reading a book half-way through? If it's getting too hard to follow. Or it's too boring.

Do you like to keep your books organized? Yep. They are shelved according to height. And books by the same author are shelved together. Jodi Picoult has a whole shelf dedicated to her. And yes, maybe I am a bit OCD-ish.

Do you prefer to keep books or give them away once you’ve read them? Keep, keep, keep. I still have my Enid Blyton books (although back in India) from when I was 6 years old. The only books I might give away are the ones I didn't like at all.

Are there any books you’ve been avoiding? Not really.


Name a book that made you angry: Dollar Bahu and Gently Falls the Bakula

A book you didn’t expect to like but did? The odd-chick lit. Can't really remember their names but some random ones from the library do surprise me...

A book that you expected to like but didn’t? Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts, God of Small things by Arundhati Roy, A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth

Favourite guilt-free, pleasure reading? Jodi Picoult, Enid Blyton, Harry Potter...

Books I love or “the ones I can read again and again and again and…..”

• Any Enid Blyton book: Malory Towers, St. Clare's, Five Find outers, Faraway tree, Wishing chair adventures...
• Harry Potter series...
• My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult
• A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry
• Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult

Too many more....

Books I love to hate:
The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy. It won a booker? Are you kidding me??!! It was nonsensical...

Books that left me underwhelmed:

• Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts. Too long-drawn for me. Some parts were not necessary.
• A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth. Disappointing and anti-climactic.

I'm going to do the same as Prats did and say that if you love reading and are currently reading this post, you are tagged!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

No Girls Allowed...

Last week I came across this article in the newspaper. 16 year old Hannah Williams was banned from taking her girlfriend to the formal. Instead, she was asked to bring a male partner by her teacher. So apparently, according to Ivanhoe Girls' Grammar School, it's not okay to be gay. Or so it would appear from their stance.

The Principal however, said that the formal was not meant to discriminate against same-sex couples but was supposed to open the all girls' school students to having a co-educational experience.

''I don't think it's appropriate they feel discriminated against, and I'm very upset they feel that,'' she said. ''If we opened it up and said girls could bring another female they would all bring females; the policy is trying to create an event where boys are invited. We are a school that has an all-girls environment, and they are meant to invite guests, not partners.''

I don't know about you but that makes no sense whatsoever in the form of a justification! Not partners but guests? And what every other girl bringing a boy is bringing a 'guest'? Is the school actually checking to see whether they are a couple or not? And what planet is the principal living in when she says all girls would bring females if it was permitted? I have worked in schools and continue to work with teenagers and trust me, all girls or co-ed schools, teenage girls will go out with boys if they are attracted to the opposite sex. Especially in this day and age.

Apart from the above, another 'justification' by the principal was that age was an issue since Hannah's partner is a Year 10 girl.

''It's an event for year 11s and the student's guest was in year 10.''

However, here's where the justification fails. Hannah said her friends took younger males and she was the only one asked to provide the age of her date. I'll go out on a limb and hypothesise that some girls may have brought Year 12 boys as well. Was that a problem for the school? I wonder.

The entire story reeks of just one thing: discrimination based on a person's sexuality. The students don't seem to have a problem with it. Why in the world are staff making it a problem? Usually you see young people being teased or bullied for their sexuality. However, it seems like Hannah's classmates are accepting of her sexuality. But the staff obviously seem to have other views. It's funny that even the girls' families are accepting of their sexuality. Everyone seems fine with it. Every one but the school. And it's not even a religious school! [Relgious schools use religion as their excuse...and while I don't agree with it, it's still more valid to them than what this principal is trying to say...if you get my drift!]

I remember reading something similar in the news last year. Another student. Another formal. Unfortunately, I can't find the article any more.

It makes me wonder though --- when will people be completely accepting of a person's sexuality? Why are they so bothered by something that's not going to hurt them? If it's 'fear' of the unknown, isn't the best way to get over that to face the fear? To get to know the unknown? Sigh.

I don't understand it.

And I work with the way humans think and feel and behave.

Go figure.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Here I am

I am back. I think. And here to explain why I was away. Exactly a couple of weeks ago I found out that my mum had a couple of blocks in her heart. And this came as a shock and surprise. Especially because my mum is only 52, is thinner than I am and fitter than I am. She eats healthy, exercises almost every day. How in the world does someone like that end up with blockages in the heart which is supposed to be a consequence of unhealthy eating and lifestyle habits?! True, there is a family history of heart problems on her side of the family but still! The doctor reckons it might be stress-related (even though there were no cholesterol problems).

Anyway, she was supposed to have an angioplasty last Tuesday but then an angiogram showed a third blockage. Resulting in the decision to conduct a bypass surgery. Which then got scheduled for the Saturday gone by. And fortunately, all went well. She was in the ICU till last night and is now in the ward. I haven't spoken to her since she's been out of surgery as she's tired. But I hope to talk to her by Thursday. One other good thing for mum is the support of neighbours and family friends...they have been so very helpful right from the start!  

So anyway, you can see why I haven't been in the mood to blog. Been worrying about mum. Been angry and frustrated at my grandmother, who by the way, is the cause of all the stress for mum and dad. [She won't even leave for a few months (to go to her other son's place) to allow my mum to recuperate! She is so selfish and narcissistic that when mum was going for the operation, she asks my sis if there will be time to go and exchange a sari for her! What planet does she live on?! And she wanted to celebrate Diwali despite mum being in the hospital and being scheduled for the bypass surgery the next day.] Been having some sleepless nights. Been wondering whether to go over or not. Been worried about how to go over given that I haven't applied for my Aussie passport yet. Been a bit stressed out with work stuff and doing some extra studying for an upcoming training. 

So yeah, it's been a crazy few weeks.

And at the end of it all, all I want is for mum to get better and recover soon. So sending all the positive vibes and prayers down your end mum! Take care...and love you!

To all in blogosphere, thanks for your lovely comments on the previous post. I will be responding to all your comments soon. And I will be visiting all your blogs soon as well...

Until next time,

Cheers!!!