Last day of summer...

Today is the last day of summer.

And a pretty crappy summer it has been.

All those days I dreamt of spending at the beach...thwarted by the rains and the overcast weather. Or having to be at work on a nice fine and sunny day. Of course, as luck would have it, a sunny week tended to lead to a rainy weekend.

Not that I didn't get any beach-love. I did. Just not enough.

Hoping autumn brings some warmish days where I can still enjoy the beach.

In other news, work has me sleepless on some nights and exhausted by the end of the day. Like i said before, be careful what you wish for. I wanted challenging. And now I worry about clients even after coming home. Whether they will be alive. Or safe. Plus I am lagging behind on reports thanks to having to deal with crises at work when I had slotted in time to work on them. End result --- work on the reports from home.

So yeah, still exhausted. Despite just having had a weekend.

I'm also wondering whether I should do NaBloPoMo next month. [Yes, I love to torture myself, don't I?] But the reason I was thinking about this is because the topic is interesting: In a word. According to the email they send, this is what it involves

It's meant to be both an inspiration and a challenge: you can choose a word (perhaps by going to either Save the Words or One Word) to build a post around, or you can try to find one word that sums up whatever's going on in your life each day when you sit down to compose your post. You can talk about the power of words, your favorite words, or what happens when we're at a loss for words. And naturally photobloggers are granted the right to gather up a thousand words and present them in the best daily images they can produce.

So yes, it's very appealing to me. Except, given how I've felt over the last couple of weeks, I really doubt I will be able to blog every day.

I do apologise for not commenting on a number of blogs ---- I do read you guys almost every day but I'm so tired I can't be bothered to comment on a lot. Plus I realise I haven't responded to comments on this blog for the last couple of posts. Will get to it soon.

So what's been up with all of you?

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Be careful what you wish for...

...as it just might come true.

I wanted a challenging job.

Guess what?

I got it.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Do opposites really attract? Temperamentally speaking...

One of my colleagues was recently talking about having broken up with their partner and was saying how the next time, they were going to choose someone a bit more similar to them i.e. an introvert and a home body as compared to the now ex who was an extrovert. I remember a few years ago, another colleague and friend had recommended that if I were to be in a relationship, I should look for someone my opposite --- an extrovert given that I'm an introvert. This friend, D, was speaking from experience --- she being an extrovert married to an introvert --- and basically thought that they balanced each other out very well.

Anyway, all this got me thinking --- do opposite temperaments really attract or would you be better off dating someone of a similar temperament?

Personally, I would prefer that my partner is of a similar temperament.

Don't get me wrong --- I am not saying my partner and I are or should be carbon copies of one another and share all the same interests. That would be boring!

But I would not want a partner who loves to party in large groups when I prefer to have dinner with a few friends. I would not want a partner who has energy till 2 in the morning when I feel the need to be asleep by 10 even on a weekend. I would not want a partner who loves to socialise every weeknight after work when all I want to do is zone out in front of the telly or lappy.

I say this knowing that I find extroverts tiring to be around. I have friends that are extroverts and I love them dearly but I can't keep up with them. When I catch up with them about once or twice a month, I'm ready to go home by 9 and they are still highly charged. They work similar hours and yet are willing to go out on a weeknight and stay up till late. Imagine having a partner like that! Someone I would be spending every single day of my life with. E.X.H.A.U.S.T.I.N.G.

So what about the rest of you out there?

Whether you are in a relationship, have been in one or even think about one --- does you partner's temperament have to be similar or the opposite?

Do share...

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Thursday Challenge - Trees

This week's challenge is Trees...something I do enjoy taking photos of. Here are just a few from my collection:

Trees galore! =)

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

6 years on...

It has been 6 years, as of yesterday.

6 years since I landed in Sydney, Australia.

6 years since I arrived as an idealistic 21 year old. Away from home for the first time. Away from family. A lot less experienced in terms of cooking, cleaning and well, just keeping house. A lot younger. A lot more inexperienced [A lot skinnier as well!!]

But how I have grown...

I learnt to cook. And bake. Even if it's not perfect all the time. The bottom line is I can follow recipes.

I learnt to do my own laundry.

I was able to work whilst studying full time. A concept that was completely foreign to me back in India.

I graduated. And quite well. [Even better than India, thanks to more assignments here than just exams!]

I learnt to drive over the years. And bought my own car [Even if it is second-hand...it's still mine!]

I now 'keep house' and work full time.

I pay my own bills. And mind you, there are several to pay! This was something done by mum back home. And it takes a lot of organisational skills!

At the same time, I understand the need for balance. By socialising occassionally with friends. Or hitting the beach. Or just staying home watching rented DVDs.

I still find it amazing. Sometimes surreal. At how far forward I have come. And just how much I have grown. Things I used to have to depend on mum for, I no longer do. [Like preparing my own lunch before work!]. I have always been considered mature by family and friends. But if anything, I have become even more mature in the last 6 years. I don't take certain things for granted anymore. I am able to sacrifice pleasure for some necessities. I have also become so much more independent. And hence, feel more grown-up than some of my older friends here in Aus still living at home with their parents.

I am sure others out there living away from home can understand where I'm coming from.

Moving away from your family makes you appreciate them a whole lot more. And also makes you learn things you never thought you might have needed.

It makes you more confident.

And possibly more able to understand the world around.

So while there have been moments when I've missed my mum and dad and sister, I don't think I would have changed anything.

Because this opportunity to live on my own and fend for myself has made me a much better person. Wiser and stronger. Adaptable and accepting.

If there is one thing I would recommend it is people move out of home before marriage...even if it is for a few months.

It's an exciting and valuable lesson in life.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Thursday Challenge - Texture

I thought I'd give this a try...the Thursday Challenge. This week's theme is 'Texture'. Which means sharing pictures that are Coarse, Smooth, Jagged, Sharp, Glossy, Shiny, Furry,...

Furry little friend



Scaly slimy snake

 Until next time,

Cheers!!!

What makes a 'good' person?

Last week, I read a post by Restless about the definition of a 'good girl' which prompted me to start an indepth discussion on the same with R over the weekend. And that led to some interesting questions and thoughts which sowed the seeds for this post.

What makes a good person? How would you define a person as 'good'?

If a person swears often due to express their frustration, does that make them a bad person? [If you read Restless's post, apparently many of the people seem to think good girls do not swear]

If a person drinks a lot, does that make them a bad person?

If a person smokes like a chimney, does that make them a bad person?

If a person has casual sex and flings with willing partners, does that mean they are a bad person?

Anyway, I kinda came to the conclusion that none of the above matters. A good person is one who lives their life honestly according to their values (whatever they may be) without intentionally harming others.

Sounds straightforward, doesn't it?

Do most of you agree with me till now?

So by that definition of a good person, a person who murders another human being is a bad person. Right?

But...

If a person murders somebody to save someone else, does that mean they are really a bad person? Just as an example, a parent who finds out their child was being sexually abused by the neighbour plans and intentionally kills the paedophile, thus saving their child and other children from being victimised further. [Please note...I'm not condoning taking the law in your own hands. It's just a hypothetical]

Is this parent a bad person??

Yes, killing somebody is not good. Morally or legally. Hence, they engaged in a bad act. But does that necessarily make them a bad person? 

Similarly, what about a woman who has been abused for years by her husband and ends up killing him one day as that is the only means of escape? Surely this is not a bad person, is it? And what about a juvenile who assaults someone once but later on goes on to be a model citizen as an adult? Is this a bad person?

Based on these examples, I was again stumped as my definition of a good person didn't seem to hold up anymore.

However, I did come to one conclusion. You cannot judge whether a person is good or bad based solely on their behaviours within a certain period of time. You would have to know the motives behind their behaviours. You would have to look at their behaviours over a large period of time...even their lifetime, if possible.

In the end, the best I could think of was a good person is one who lives a genuine life according to their personal values [which do not have to be congruent with the cultural values!], whatever they may be. Behaviour is not necessarily the best way to evaluate the goodness or badness of an individual as we probably only see part of the picture.

The values are within the person...and while they are displayed via their behaviours, not all behaviours may be perceived as being good despite a good motivation behind it.

So what do you think?

What makes a good person?  

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Therapy is for the weak...

...or so people seem to think.

I find it interesting that so many people associate going to therapy as a sign of weakness. Apparently, seeking help for difficulties you are having is not a good thing. A brave person would try and put on a face and cope with all the shit that comes their way.

In fact, taking a step towards getting help in the form of therapy is one of the most courageous acts a person can do in their lifetime. It takes a lot of guts to first realise you have a problem and secondly, you cannot cope with it single handedly. It takes even more guts to take that step --- an overwhelming one --- and see a stranger to request that help. And finally, it takes so much more strength to disclose your private details...your private worries and fears...to that stranger.

It's probably more so for men. The expectation for men is that they have to be "strong" in that they are not supposed to show any emotions such as anxiety or sadness or pain. Anger is good. So going to see a therapist for any of this is almost taboo. After all, they would be admitting 'weakness' by doing  so, right?

If only people understood just how much courage it takes to seek therapy, things would probably be a lot more different. When I hear about men in particular, and see boys, who admit to having a problem and seeking therapy, I want to tell them how brave they are. In general, with the adolescents and kids and families I see, I make it a point to tell them how great it is that they are taking a step to seeking help. It's no mean feat. 

So to all the people out there who think therapy is for the weak...take my word...it isn't. They are a lot stronger than those bottling it all up and wearing a mask for the world while living with their inner demons.

And to those of you who have taken that step to seek therapy or counselling ---- good on you! It's a hard task. But I hope it has been worth your while.

And finally, to those of you are on the fence --- yes, it takes a lot of guts to ask for help. But it's a brave thing you can do to help yourself.

It does not mean you are weak.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Wordless Wednesday - D'ya like my pose?

Until next time,

Cheers!!!