The Black Dog

They call it the black dog
It's a euphemism, you see
It's not even close; it's something
With which you don't want to be.

It is a downward spiral
Into a deep dark hole
And it feels like it'll never end
As deeper inside you go

There is a hollow feeling
In the middle of your chest
And despite that emptiness
It feels as heavy as lead

Gone is your appetite
For both food and for life
And as for your sleep;
It evades you through the night

You lose interest in everything
Even what you'd enjoy
Work and play become a drag
To escape which, you use every ploy

You stay away from friends
With excuses of being busy
And call in sick from work
With stomach bugs and feeling dizzy

You start to loathe yourself
And stare at a future bleak
When loved ones try to comfort
To them, you refuse to speak

Finally the answer hits you
This life ain't worth living
With nothing left to hope for
What better than it ending?

Once you have that single thought
That idea of ending it all
A plan slowly beings to form
In your mind it begins to crawl

Alas my friend, the secret though
Is not to kill yourself
To get rid of this black dog
You need to face your inner hell

Go and see a therapist
If needed, get some meds
Get back into life's routines
And start to meet your friends

It'll be a long and bumpy road
Through your journey on the mend
This big black dog called Depression
For it to finally end...

***This was written for One Single Impression Prompt 161: Hollow***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Parenting practices --- how do you do it?

I know I have been missing in action for a while from this space. And of course, NaBloPoMo went bust for me after just 10 days. What can I say? I opted for real life instead. Anyway, in the 10 days gone by I have been busy...with work, watched Black Swan (Natalie Portman was great, the movie 50-50), had an intensive four day professional development course on the Triple P (Positive Parenting Program) and am now preparing to study for my accreditation in 2 months, and during all this, read a couple of books: Sing you Home by Jodi Picoult and Battle hymn of the tiger mother by Amy Chua. (The latter was part of my book club read).

It's interesting that I read Amy Chua's book after receiving training in the Triple P. I have known of the Triple P and it's principles since my postgraduate days and I have used it individually in my work with parents of children with behavioural problems. Basically, the Triple P emphasises a safe and nurturing environment, positive interaction with your child along with setting limits and consequences for the child's behaviour. And then I read Amy Chua's book, a memoir about Chinese parenting seemingly superior to Western parenting.

I'm not going to review the book here as I've already done it elsewhere. However, I must say, I was shocked while reading the book. Amy Chua comes across as a dictator. Now I know we all probably thought our parents were the worst while growing up and that no one else's parents were as strict but Amy sets them all to shame. Her underlying motto appears to be success and maintaining a certain position in society. And the Chinese way apparently to obtain this is by verbally putting your child down (telling them they are fat, that they are garbage) because this apparently will motivate them, emotionally blackmailing your child (telling them how much you have done for them, telling them you are going to die eventually), or just being a dictator and pretty much torturing them (by getting them to practise piano or violin for 6 hours at a stretch with no bathroom breaks). She doesn't believe in her kids going on playdates from when they were little nor for sleepovers. The days revolved around school, school work/homework and piano and violin practice. She even got her kids to practice the piano and violin when they were on holidays overseas!! [That should give you just one small inkling of how crazy she is!]

She thinks that western parents give up too easily if a child finds a task too hard and thereby they let the child give up too. She believes that kids don't know what's good for them and therefore need to be pushed in order to reach their potential. But I find myself thinking, there's pushing and then there's pushing!  

While I was reading the book I found myself thanking my stars that my parents weren't Nazis like Chua. Although while growing up, I did think they were harsh. But you know what? This book has definitely put their strict parenting in perspective. My parents (possibly like most other Indian parents) stressed the importance of academics with the outcome being more important than the effort you put. But, at the same time, they let me have a balanced life. In primary school, I had to do my homework and studies straight after lunch at home which was fine (even though I know I had my moments of not wanting to do it!). But then, around 5:00 p.m. I'd be out --- playing with friends. Playing football, getting dirty in the mud, playing hide and seek, riding my bike --- being a kid basically. My parents wanted me to learn Indian classical dancing (which I did for a year and didn't like it) and then Carnatic singing (which I persisted with for some years). They didn't torture me to practise and it was more of a hobby than anything else.

The only thing they constantly stressed was academics --- until I snapped in Year 8 telling my mum to back off and that the more she 'nagged' the less I wanted to study. The good thing? She did back off. Decreasing her nagging. And eventually, I was able to study because I wanted to. Especially once I finished school and got rid of subjects I hated.  

I guess all I am trying to say is that I found Chua's approach to parenting very black and white (and very tyrannical). True, it may have worked with her older daughter who has a passive temperament but again, how much of that is on the outside? How is she certain that her kids do not have mental health problems? At work, I see kids like this often --- extremely strict parents, verbally putting their kids down, calling them fat to their faces resulting in teenagers feeling depressed, feeling anxious, feeling like they are just not good enough and can never be good enough. I'm not saying the answer is the opposite. Because I get to see adolescents with behavioural problems when parents are too slack and too lenient. Or kids that give up too easily because they are used to quitting. However, it is possible that there will be a few kids out there that will thrive in a Chua-like environment and kids that will thrive in a laissez-faire environment. But it won't work across the board.

The answer is somewhere in the middle. Yes, it's important to push children but not to the point of it seeming like a concentration camp. It's more important to encourage them to achieve their potential. Yes, they need consequences and limits. But they also need a life. A life with their own peers. A childhood.

But I will admit, this middle road may not work with all kids either.

Have you read Amy Chua's book? What was your view? And as a parent, how far will you go to push your kids? Or were you pushed as a kid?

Do share.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Sensing Me

For today's NaBloPoMo entry, I thought I'd make use of their prompts...and the prompt for today is as follows:

Describe yourself using different five words, one for each of the senses (taste, touch, etc.).

Spicy (Taste) - Easy to fire up when I'm passionate about something; quite stubborn and oppositional when it comes to my beliefs

Hard (Touch) - Another way of saying cynical in terms of the senses. Yes I'm moved by certain things but I can be oh-so-cynical. I guess another place where I need to be a bit hard is when I hear disturbing histories of my clients...need to put on a hard, yet empathic front...

Keen (Sight) - Eager to learn, eager to know new things...that's me. Whether it is via reading, or going online or exploring the real world...

Coffee (Smell) - Or coffee-lover to be precise. No longer an addict (I think) but still needing that one cuppa without fail to get me kickstarted for the day...

Quiet (Sound) - This needs no explanation if you are a reader of my blog. I'm a quiet person. An introvert. And I have no qualms about it.
That's me. In 5 words. One for each sense.

Enough of sensing me for now...

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Wordless Wednesday: Roses

In a word: Red

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Meme

I've borrowed this meme from Kim over at Sandbox Gems. It's a get-to-know-you-better meme and I thought, in accordance with the NaBloPoMo theme, I would respond In A Word. So here goes:

4 random items in your purse:

• Pens
• DayPlanner
• Keys (x many)
• Receipts

4 random staples in your closet:

• Shirts
• Trackies
• Jeans
• Pants

4 random staples in your refrigerator:

• Cheeeeeese
• Milk
• Sauce
• Cheeeeeese

4 random staples in your pantry:

• Biscuits
• Pasta
• Spices
• Tuna (in cans!)

4 items (books or other materials) that you have recently read: [Hard to do this in a word!]

• Lord of the Flies
• Reports for work [And no, that's not an interesting book]
• Cloudstreet [Still reading...]
• A room swept white

4 random things you keep meaning to do, but keep putting off:

• Organise my closet
• Organise my papers and handouts from uni days
• Read my unread book before buying new books
• Wash my car

4 random songs on your iPod or playlist:

• Iridescent [by Linkin Park]
• Numb [by Linkin Park]
• Home [by Michael Buble]
• Heaven [by Bryan Adams]

Go on...let us all get to know you better. Take on this meme. But be sure you use the picture by Kim above.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Monday

Oh Monday, how I loathe thee!

I never seem to look forward to Mondays. Come Sunday arvo and I start to get down in the dumps at the thought of another Monday (unless of course, its a long weekend!) It's like a reflex action where when the mind realises it's Monday, it starts to shut down. I've always noticed how much more tired I am on a Monday morning as compared to any other morning. [And I'm probably the freshest on a Friday morn!]

It's not just me. Most people I've worked with appear to be functioning slightly more slowly than usual. The few bubbly ones annoy the rest of us without a doubt. After all, how can one be perky on a Monday Morning???

I wonder though --- if people work Tuesday to Friday, does the same Monday-effect occur for the Tuesday?

Anyway, I dislike Mondays.

And love Fridays...and right now, I'm already counting down the sleeps to Friday...

Until next time,

Cheers!!

Accidental

The scene was one to behold
Cars scattered in the middle of the road
Windscreens broken, glasses cracked
Children screaming, as if attacked
Sirens wailed as emergency crew appeared
Trying to attend to those injured
Police looking for who started the chaos
There she is, a slight, young lass
Sobbing and weeping as she blubbers along
Trying to explain what exactly went on
Whilst driving and texting her partner in life
She lost her footing in a moment of strife
Hitting the accelerator instead of the brake
A moment that cost her, a big mistake
It was but accidental, cried she out loud

But t'wasn't the case for the police, nor to all around
So many hurt, so much blood shed
If only she hadn't driven while texting her boyfriend

This has been written for One Single Impression prompt no. 158. 

It is also written as an awareness to not text and drive! Or for that matter, do not talk on your handset and drive!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Satisfied

How do I feel today?

In a word: Satisfied

Why?

Because I spent all day cleaning my unit.

Spotless.

Well, nearly...

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Hypocrisy

One thing that really gets my goat is hypocrisy. (And I've ranted heaps about it!) I am willing to accept that we are all possibly hypocritical in one way or another. Particularly if you think about the masks we may wear in a professional setting as compared to a new social setting and compared to a personal setting. But I tend to think of hypocrisy (as most things) on a continuum. So some of us are a lot more hypocritical than others. And it’s the ones that are way more hypocritical that I do not like. And find hard to understand.

Just so we are all on the same page, hypocrisy according to the online free dictionary means “The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness”.

Recently, I came across a news article that made me all annoyed again as it screamed hypocrisy. I had wanted to blog about it around the time I read it but procrastinated. However, it has sort of come back in the news with the Oscars so I thought, why not?

Apparently, the language in The King’s Speech is too much for Americans to handle and it was given a rating of R upon its release. However, it could get a PG rating following censoring some of the language --- which is what happened. [Check out what the motion pictures ratings mean here]

Now, for those of you who haven’t watched The King’s Speech, I have reviewed it here. And the only “obscene language” is Colin Firth’s character using a bunch of swear words to ‘loosen’ his tongue. It includes the F word. Apart from that, I think he says words like bugger (which I didn’t think was a swear word). The swear words are not directed at anyone but rather just a way for him to try and overcome his stutter. It is one of the more crucial scenes in the movie which, by the way, is based on true events.

Now, I am not condoning swearing. I know some people don’t like it. And I know I tend to swear a lot especially out of frustration. [Try it some time… it feels good] But my annoyance stems from this --- American film distributors censoring swearing.

Can you see the hypocrisy in that??

How many movies feature nudity? How many movies and tv shows are filled with sexual references? All rated PG. How many music videos feature semi-naked women? Sexually explicit lyrics? [Think of any hip-hop artist…the songs tend to be about women and their bodies…] How many movies glorify violence? All of these feature on American telly.

And all of a sudden a few choice words in a movie make it enough to be censored. Apparently it is okay for kids to watch Britney and Lady Gaga and other “musicians” strut around smei-nude and gyrate but it’s not okay for them to watch a man use the F-word out of frustration from stuttering. It is okay for kids to watch violent movies and play games which include killing a zillion people or zombies but hearing a few curses is going to scar them for life.

Just so you can see the extent of the ridiculousness of this, the movie Saw (and all its bloody sequels) was rated R. Compare that to The King’s Speech needing the same rating. The former showing enough blood and gore to make you sick. The latter having a few swear words. The former about a psychopath killing people in vicious and crazy ways. The latter about a king trying to overcome a speech defect.

How in the world do they even compare to have to get the same rating?

I think the American movie people should get off their high horses and look at the stuff they air on telly and their own movies first. And in any case, kids as young as 6 and 7 know more swear words than what the movie portrays. And they probably have also learnt that sex and nudity can get you everything while violence is the answer to your problems. Thanks to all that they see...
On a slightly different note, who else thinks that if this were a movie made by an American the response would have been completely different?

But if the Brits and Aussies do it, it’s a nightmare.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Ridiculous

My thoughts on the whole spot-fixing allegations against Watson and Haddin --- in a word --- RIDICULOUS. Actually, I'd like to say --- fucking ridiculous! Guess where the story broke? No surprises --- Indian media. Honestly, when did 5 runs in 2 overs become something to investigate?

Anyway, I thought I just had to share this quote by the manager of the Australian team, Steve Bernard...it made me laugh and it was spot-on.

"Everyone in that team has been to India a number of times – we tour here at least once a year – and . . . the slightest thing can be magnified and blown up. There's a bit of VAT [value added tax] added to every story just to make it sound better."

That's what the Indian media does --- blows up everything to nth degree! Typical.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Wordless Wednesday - Snooze

In a word: SNOOZE (Do not disturb!)

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Challenge

I've decided to take up the challenge.

The NaBloPoMo Challenge. For the month of March.

Despite the challenges work is presenting at this point in time, I feel like I can't resist. I aim to keep it up for the whole month. [Trust me to choose one with 31 days] Of course, I'm not crazy and won't kill myself over it if things in my real life get overly hectic.

Anyway, why take up this challenge? Is it because I'm a masochist? Maybe. But more so, I think it's also because I miss my blog. Let me explain. I get all these brilliant ideas to blog about during my busy days...but then, by the time I'm home, I'm so buggered that I've either got no energy to write or I'm filled with writer's block! I just stare at my new post page and eventually shut down the computer.

With this challenge, I can still visit a couple of recommended sites for prompts on the days I cannot find that word in my head. How great is that? Of course, I do understand that if the brain doesn't work, the posts are likely to be gibberish. But at least I'll be giving it a try.

So yes, this is a challenge. That I'm kinda looking forward to. And willing to face head-on!

So who's with me on this ride???

Until next time,

Cheers!!!