Dark-skinned girl

I grew up in a society
Where the colour of your skin
Was a better indicator of beauty
Than the person within

Especially if you were a girl
On the day you were born
People would pity your parents
And in extreme cases, disown

“You poor thing”
They’d coo to my mum
“Not only is she a girl
But one that’s really dark brown”

While I enjoyed my childhood
Playing football with the boys
I still got cautioned by all
For it made me darker being outside

“How will you get married?”
The nosey aunties would demand
“If you play out in the sun
And have your skin so tanned?”

As I grew into my teenage years
The compliments came if my skin was fair
The less time I spent in the sun
Would ensure that grannies and aunts wouldn’t glare

I learnt that if you were dark and tan
Neither job nor love would you ever get
After all, what kind of man
Would want a wife dark enough to forget?

The ads on the telly
Bombarded me with this message
That if I used ‘Fair and lovely’
Many a job and man would I get

The other dark skinned women I knew
Described their colour akin to wheat
Which in my head made no sense
Apparently, it’s better that than dark-skinned you see

I caved around the age of thirteen
And tried those fairness creams a-few
Fat lot of good they did for me
As my dark skinned genes reigned supreme

I gave up my fight eventually
And resigned to that horrible fear
No job would I get, no man would want me
All these burdens I would endure

In my twenties I finally moved away
To a society with the majority white
And the funny story is that over here
My skin colour is viewed a delight

My light-skinned friends love my colour
And wish they could tan as well
They think it must be awesome to be brown
Be it summer or the winter months of hell

I no longer see ads telling me
That white is how we ought to be
In fact it is ever so queer
But being tan is the in thing over here

I realise that this dark skin of mine
Doesn’t matter to my employers or clients
And this chocolatey dark skin
Caught the eye of a wonderful guy

I am more accepting of my skin
Not just because of what others think
I realise how many colours look good to wear
The brighter they are, the better they seem

I love my dark brown skin
The colour of chocolate to me
And come the lovely warm summer,
I’ll be at the beach in my bikini

Those old nosey aunties still question my darkness
And with horror they exclaim and sigh
But I tell them proudly of how I love it this way
Every time I visit them with my head held high

 ***This has been written for One Single Impression Prompt 183***

Author's note: I have always had a problem with Indian society's emphasis on light skin to the point of constantly selling 'fairness' creams. I admit, I succumbed to the pressures occasionally and felt pretty bad about my looks only to come here to Australia and have friends envious of my colour! I understand there are other countries where fairness is valued too but I guess this is specific to India at the moment. I still get comments about how dark I have become by 'well-wishers' when I visit India. On the plus side, it no longer bothers me!  

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

The Nanny State

A recent report has me seriously questioning the kind of world we are becoming. A nanny state if I may say so. The exact definition of a nanny state is this:

 

A nanny state is the perception of a situation characterised by governmental policies of over-protectionism, economic interventionism, or heavy regulation of economic, social or other nature. [Source] 

Personally, I haven’t had a problem with some things the Australian government has done which have people shouting till they are blue in the face about us being a nanny state. For instance, I have no problem with the government wanting to introduce plain packaging for cigarettes. I understand this as being a heavy regulation but one that may have its benefits. Nor do I have an issue for stricter alcohol regulations in terms of having bars and pubs not serve alcohol after midnight if it will help curb alcohol-related violence. 

I think what I do have a problem with is the “over-protectionism” part of the definition. The one where every one is told what to do and how to do it. Not necessarily in the form of a law but with ‘experts’ telling us what to do and what not to do. The most recent one that I mentioned at the start of this post was one where nanny agencies are asking the government to enforce a law where kids under the age of 14 should not be allowed to babysit younger kids. Added to that, there is a comment by someone who says it should be 18. Apparently, teenagers are not responsible enough to babysit.  

And this is where I go on my rant. Are parents supposed to be that stupid? Can’t they decide which teenager is most suitable to babysit their kid? I mean, most parents are unlikely to get a teen who is themselves immature to babysit their 8 or 9 year old sibling. Children mature at different ages. As surprising as it may sound to the nannies calling for this legislation, some 12 and 13 year olds are in fact quite responsible. So they may not be able to drive their younger sibling to a hospital in an emergency but I'm pretty sure they know the phone numbers for an ambulance, the police or the fire brigade as well as know enough to call their own parents too!

Moreover, how are we ever going to teach kids to be responsible without giving them a bit of responsibility in the first place? I remember my parents leaving my sister (who is 5 years my junior) and me alone in the house with a set of instructions when I was around 8 or 9 years old. We never set the house on fire. We didn't end up killing each other. We didn't break anything or let strangers in. In fact, during those days, that was probably the time we got along best because we weren't competing for our parents' attention. The worst that I probably did was watch TV when given instructions not to. Maybe if I had been a feral kid, my parents wouldn't have left me alone at 8 but they would have when they thought I was responsible enough. 

I have a gripe with some psychologists on this matter too. Now I tend to see some clients who thrive on being given responsibilities and then praise for it. Especially the behavioural ones who are written off. But some psychs can go to the extreme when you say that a 10 year old was given the responsibility for one day to prepare breakfast (cereal) for themselves and their siblings because apparently, that is parentifying a child in some way! What the hell?? On the other hand, the child loved the responsibility and it gave them the older sibling status and more importantly, positive reinforcement from the parent. 

In my line of work, I see more and more legislation about what kids and parents can and cannot do. And to be honest, it's getting out of control now! I agree parents should not be allowed to hit their child. But there are some idiots out there who are now saying parents are not allowed to put their kids in time out because it is harmful to the child's self-esteem! Excuse me? What are parents supposed to then to discipline their kids? It's not all about positivity, you know. There have to be consequences too. 

I think with some things, people should just let things be. Unless there is significant damage, there doesn't need to be a black and white legislation. Some matters can be considered on an individual basis. 

Until then, I say, if a 12 or 13 year old is responsible enough, let them babysit! They are learning valuable things. And in any case, who is to say that an 18 year old babysitter can't be irresponsible? We see enough of P-plate accidents to see how responsible they can be!    

Until next time,

Cheers!!! 

Rhubarb

...by Craig Silvey. 

Meet Eleanor Rigby. Blind. Fiercely independent. Self-sufficient. With her guide dog Warren (who hates that his name refers to a place where rabbits live). Who is overprotective of her. Cynical about the world and extremely guarded about her feelings, she gets by on a daily basis. Then there is Ewan Dempsey. Agoraphobic. Social phobic. A maker and player of cellos. With a weird relationship with one of his cellos. And through his playing, he manages to entrance Eleanor who recognises in Ewan a kindred spirit. And thus ensues a story of both trying to face their fears.

It is a book about lonely people in many ways. Not just through the characters of Eleanor or Ewan but the others in the book too. Estelle, Eleanor's tv-addict mother who doesn't interact with her or anyone, for that matter. Bruno, the deli store owner who states he is Italian, but is in fact Romanian. Frank, one of the men in the neighbourhood who is friendly with Eleanor but hasn't yet come to terms with his wife's death. Silvey also looks at how disabilities can marginalise people in society and how sometimes, they appear to be at the very low-end of society.

The book is okay. Somehow, despite the seemingly interesting characters, I got lost. I think it was the writing style. This is Silvey's debut novel and he had an unusual writing style. Short sentences. Running words. [e.g. Onandonandon] Addressing the reader in some places. [references to 'you'] And just dragging on and on in some parts. I think the writing style took away what the story could possibly have had for me. I bought this book after reading Silvey's Jasper Jones which I absolutely loved! And this was a disappointment.

I tried to like it. I really did. Especially given his work on Jasper Jones and all the other positive reviews. But somehow, there was a bit too much symbolism and use of metaphors for my liking. And it just didn't have the same flavour as Jasper Jones.

All in all, it was unfortunately a disappointment for me. I would rate it a 2 out of 5.


Edited to add: After reading a couple of comments on this post, I would like to add that if the story interests you, go ahead and read it and make up your own mind. The book has received several positive reviews but just didn't do it for me. You may end up liking it or loving it!

***This has been written as part of the Aussie Author Challenge 2011***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Obsessive - Compulsive Disorder. Or Not

I wake up in the morning

And wash my hands real well

Scrubbing all the germs away

The ones that our lives dwell

To finish this wash 

Takes me about an hour

And before I know it

It’s time for my shower

As I scrub every nook and crevice 

With a new soap each time

I make sure I’m very clean

And there’s a new towel on my line

In my closet you will see 

Clothes sorted oh-so-neatly

Reds, blues, purples, blacks

All colour-coded and perfectly stacked

Not once will you find

A green blouse amidst a blue

Nor will you find my underwear and socks

Strewn all over askew

Making brekky is a chore

As the toast needs to be perfectly square

It means I get rid of many

But fortunately have several to spare

As I finally leave for work

There is a ritual to follow

Lock the door once and check it twice

Go to my car, but head back to check just once more

These rituals keep my life in order

Strange as it may seem to you

I’ve been told I have obsessive-compulsive disorder

I try to think that it isn’t true

What is wrong with keeping clothes colour-coded?

And since when did neatness become a crime?

So I like to thoroughly rid myself of germs

And agreed, I don’t get to work in time

I may have obsessive-compulsive disorder

But this is what I really think

It’s society’s obsession with perfection and being ‘normal’

That will bring us all to insanity’s brink!

Disclaimer: Not everyone suffering from OCD has all of the above; some people have checking compulsions, others have the need to have things in a certain order and still others may have a phobia of germs. There are also obsessions where people fear they may hurt someone or someone they love will die and they engage in compulsions like counting or praying or avoiding certain things. Read this to find out more about OCD. It is a legitimate mental health problem for some people and in those cases they certainly need therapy or medication to assist them. We all may have our little quirks and obsessions and compulsive behaviours but it becomes a problem when it begins to interfere with your general functioning. For the record, I do not do any of the above! I have other obsessions and compulsive behaviours but none that warrant therapy.  

***This has been written for One Single Impression Prompt 182***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!  

Doppelgänger

I was the gym on Saturday working out when suddenly this lady started talking to me about how it was sometimes hard to get time to come and work out when you had chores. I politely made conversation too about working out and being busy and all of that.

And then she asked me: So do you still work at such-and-such place?

I looked blankly at her and said I'd never worked there. In fact, I'd never worked in the local area (i.e. the suburb I live in) which is where she meant. Turns out she probably thought I was someone else and most likely had been thinking me as being rude previously for never talking to her.

Before you think she was someone from a background who thinks "all Indians/Pakistanis/Srilankans look alike" [which is what R thought when I told him about it], she was from and Indian or Srilankan background herself.

So that theory of outgroup homogeneity or ingroup-outgroup bias is out the window.

Which then made me think --- do I have a doppelganger around?

Do you ever wonder whether there is someone out there in the world who looks exactly like you? I remember some years ago, Femba girl told me she met someone in college who reminded her of me. However, I can't remember whether it was in looks or behaviour or both. [Femba girl...if you are reading this, please help clarify!]

I find myself thinking: is there someone out there who looks exactly like me. 5 feet tall, Indian ethnicity, plump, wearing glasses, brown eyes, long black hair. [I think I just described several people...] But jokes aside, is there someone who could be mistaken as my twin? And if so, what is their personality like? Are they introverted as well? Do they enjoy cricket, food, reading, blogging, or any other similar things? Do they think the same way about issues as I do? Are they in a similar line of work?

Through blogging, I have found a few people who freakishly think along the same lines as I do. Legal Alien is one. Honestly, she and I have freakishly similar thoughts. We both love Australia. We both love food. We both wrote similar posts back when the whole 'racism' fiasco was taking place. We also wrote similar posts recently about Fred Nile [mine and hers]. She is a journalist and when I initially took up Arts, it was with the plan of becoming one. Mind you, we have never met. I can assure you though, we look nothing alike. She is way skinnier than yours truly! :)  

Then there is Titaxy. We both seem quite similar too. Similar interests [reading!!!] Similar attitude to shopping, jewellry, fashion, make-up [not really into it!] Both like Australia and Australian cricket [Even though she no longer follows the game living in the US of A] In terms of appearances, I don't really know whether we are similar or not because I haven't actually seen any picture of hers.

I also wonder if there is also someone out there who may look exactly like me but is the total opposite in that they are extroverted, a party person, totally irresponsible, very immature and living each day as it comes. And of course, not at all anxious and neurotic like yours truly! I think I would like to meet them. Not because I think I am missing out on something. But because I am curious.

How freaky would it be though, to encounter someone exactly like you? Whether in looks or personality.

Have you had any doppelganger stories you would like to share?

Have you met your doppelganger? 

What would you do if you were to meet your doppelganger? 

Go on, tell us!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

App, App and away...

I am not the best person to be talking about technology.

In fact, in today's world, I am probably very technologically-challenged. From the outset, I have refused to buy into the 'i' shenanigans and jump on their bandwagon. But I have caved in and got an android phone. Even so, the only apps on my phone are the blogging related ones or the twitter app.

However, even technologically-challenged me can see the importance of technology and the manner in which we are all becoming dependent on it. And while I fear for the future with regards to some aspects of technology, I must grudgingly admit that there are other areas I am glad are being developed.

One such area is apps. No, not just our basic twitter or facebook or blogger apps. But rather, more useful ones.

Being a psychologist who assesses children's learning and developmental abilities (in addition to mental health), I tend come across a number of children with learning disabilities including reading disorders, expressive and receptive language disorders, mathematics disorder, pervasive developmental disorders and autism spectrum disorders. When I diagnose learning disabilities, I tend to provide recommendations to schools and parents about what can be done to better help the child. Sometimes though, I feel like I fight a losing battle because schools may not have enough funding to actually help a child with a learning disorder. As a result, those with reading disorders, language disorders and maths disorders do not always get the help they need.

However, with the improvements in technology, hopefully this will soon be history. Hopefully, parents will be able to help kids in their own homes and teachers won't necessarily have to depend on teacher's aides to come in and help these kids. Some apps I found useful in this regard through Intel AppUp are the following:

1. The ANTILO app

This is an app to help individuals with expressive language problems. So while it assists someone with an expressive language disorder, it can also be used by individuals with an autism spectrum disorder as they tend to have expressive lanaguage problems, and adults with expressive language difficulties following strokes or due to dementia. This app helps the user translate text to speech, uses images to better help understanding and expressing onself, and also helps the user practice listening and communicating. I can think of at least a couple of clients of mine who would greatly benefit from this app. One has a severe expressive language problem and finds it hard to communicate what happens at school and as a result gets very frustrated when others don't understand. This app would help him express himself better, thereby reducing that frustration and anger at himself.

2. Phonics made easy flash action

Individuals with a reading disorder more often than not have a problem with phonology i.e. understanding the sounds of letters. Hence, generally after being diagnosed, they are recommended to get more assistance with phonics and phonological awareness. However, more often than not, in order to do so, parents have to shell out money to see a speech pathologist. But right here with this program, learning phonics becomes fun and cheaper and something that can be done at home. All parents would have to do is purchase the app and then spending an hour each day with their child to learn the basic phonological skills and test them too. The main aim of this app appears to be that learning should be fun. And for a child who is has difficulty with learning and therefore loses interest easily, learning needs to be made fun!

3. Phonics Pencil Pal

Similar to the previous app, this one too is a brilliant one for kids with reading disorders. Teaching them the basics of phonology in a fun way is what is needed and what better way than having Zachary Zebra and his team teach them!

I can learn to use technology a bit more if this is where we are headed. Hopefully in the future, there will also be more apps to assist individuals with an autism spectrum disorder understand social cues and nonverbal messages. And who knows? There may be an app for anger management so that kids can use that to help them before they blow up and get into trouble. After all, with the next generation being more tech-savvy, that's where my client base is headed.

And it is only sensible if I keep up to date with the apps.

But for the time being, I know I am going to be recommending the aove apps to some of the parents. 

So is there going to be a therapy app?

You just never know!

This blog is an entry to the "My Favorite PC App" contest. Check out numerous apps for PC/Netbooks available at the Intel AppUp Center. If you are looking for an opportunity to build and monetize your applications, check out the Intel® Atom™ Developer Program.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Significance of a word

How much difference can a mere word make?

For instance, telling someone you had a traumatic time giving your presentation when in fact, it was probably challenging and difficult. Or saying you are depressed when it is dull, grey and rainy rather than not in the best spirits in such weather.

Do you think these can have an influence?

You would certainly think so given the manner in which the media uses language to greatly sensationalise events. A rain storm is a disaster. A week of rainy weather is terrible, horrible, and awful. A minor incident is described as shocking. You get the drift.

Studies have shown that eye-witness testimony can be influenced by the language used. Back in the 1970s, a breakthrough study on the validity of eyewitness testimony by Loftus and Palmer had participants witness a video of a car accident and then asked them to describe what happened. Participants in different groups were asked specific questions about what happened when the cars hit/ smashed/ collided/ bumped/ came into contact with one another. A week later participants were asked to recall whether they saw broken glass. Results showed that the kind of words used in the questions had an impact on how many of them recalled seeing broken glass. in other words, the group that had the question using the word ‘smashed’ had significantly more individuals seeing broken glass compared the group with the question using the word ‘hit’. In fact, there was no broken glass at all. While this was mainly a study of eyewitness testimony and leading questions, it also brings to light just how we perceive situations based on the language used.

In a similar vein, are you therefore more likely to be more agitated and upset if you use the word traumatic to describe a situation that is say, difficult? I would think it likely.

I especially have an issue when people offhandedly use the word 'traumatic' to describe an event which may not be so. I see clients with real trauma. Clients from refugee backgrounds who have been through war and seen people killed. Clients who have been sexually or physically abused for years. Clients who have lived in a domestically violent home for years. Clients who have been assaulted once. These are traumatic events.

On the other hand, I get irked when a friend or acquaintance will describe a difficult situation at work or home as traumatic. Or the media who will talk about something not-so-traumatic as though it were. Or even parents or teachers or caregivers who want to validate a child's feelings by stating how traumatic a break up from their boyfriend or girlfriend is. Break ups are sad and suck. But they are not traumatic!

I think we need to be very careful with the language we use. Whether it is to define behaviours or feelings or experiences. Being sad is not the same as being depressed. Hitting someone is not the same as bashing them. An unfortunate event is not necessarily the same as a disastrous event.

If we pay attention to the language used, we probably will have a better perspective over these thoughts, feelings, behaviours and experiences in our lives. If not, we are likely to be living the way in which the media portrays things --- in extremes.

So, if we think "I always screw up" we are likely to be more disappointed in ourselves as compared to "I occasionally make mistakes like others" Language is interesting. But it can definitely influence the way we feel.

What are your thoughts on this? 


Do you notice if you tend to occasionally use language that is very exaggerated or extreme or global? 


Do share!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Wordless Wednesday - To Read

Waiting to be read; with four books not in pic

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Free

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 23; the twenty-third edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for this month is FREE.

For years I have longed for

Release from this relationship

Ever so far from you I’d go

Escaping your hurtful blows and whips

Fortunate I was, to

Run away some years ago

Even though you caught me later

Even though you punished me so

For I had seen what it was like

Remaining away from you

Enhanced by a taste for life

Existing by myself for that day or two

Flying away from this nest

Ruminating on what next to do

Engaging with that plan in mind

Enabled me to put up with you

Finally, the awaited day arrived

Rosy morning, a day so clear

Escape plan vivid in my mind, I

Entranced you into bed, my dear

Forever the image of you carved in my brain

Rasping for breath and stemming gushing blood in vain

Echoing sounds I’d uttered in pain, I

Ensured you’d never hurt me again

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Why Harry Potter is not just a kid's book

Click on image to link to source

Harry Potter.

The story of a boy wizard whose parents were killed and who then attempts to fight the evil Lord Voldemort as he grows older.

A tale of fantasy and fiction. A different world altogether. A book about magic, witches and wizards, and a tale of good versus evil.

Sounds like a children’s book, right?

Harry Potter is far from being just that. Yes, it probably appeals to kids because of all of what I just mentioned. But there is a lot more to Harry Potter than just the good versus evil and the magical world. There is lot there for adults. This post is probably for those adults who pooh-pooh Harry Potter [including some individuals I know personally who cannot fathom why I continue to re-read my Harry Potter series with the same enthusiasm as a 27 year old as when I first read them at 18]. The reason I say that Harry Potter has a lot more to it is because of the themes covered in the series.

Death: Yes, death. J. K. Rowling got the idea for the books following the death of her own mother. As a consequence, the books have a lot to do with death and this is one of the overarching themes albeit subtle in the first few books. Not only does it deal with how the death of loved ones can affect us, it is also about the fear of death. Voldemort fears death. His own death. And it is because of this fear, he goes on to divide his soul into seven thus rendering him immortal until and unless all the parts are destroyed. Harry on the other hand, accepts death --- in the final book, that is. And this makes all the difference in the world. The manner in which Harry's mother sacrifices her life to protect him creates a protective charm. In a similar vein, when Harry truly accepts that he must die for Voldemort to die, he creates a protective charm for his loved ones. Dumbledore too chose to die on his own terms. In terms of dealing with death, no one knows it better than Harry. Having lost his parents at the age of one, he grows up to lose people he loves as well --- Sirius, Dumbledore and Lupin --- as well as people he is friends with --- Fred Weasley, Cedric, Tonks, Moody among others. He yearns to bring back the dead when he knows there might be a way. He years to speak to the dead. And it is a pain most of us can identify with because even if we haven't lost someone, the fear of losing them is always there.  

Prejudice:This is probably one of the biggest themes and the core reason why Voldemort is who he is. Voldemort thinks that all wizards and witches should be pure-blood. In other words, both parents should be magical themselves. A half-blood is one with only one parent of magical descent while the other might be of human (or muggle) descent. A mudblood is a person whose parents are both of muggle descent. Hermione Granger, one of Harry’s best friends is of such descent. Voldemort aims to get rid of mudbloods and muggles and half-bloods. The irony is that he himself is half-blood. This whole notion of trying to wipe out mudlbloods and half-bloods is akin to what Hitler did with the Jews. It is also similar to racism in general. The manner in which the pure bloods talk about mudbloods and half-bloods is filled with prejudice and the notion of pure bloods being supreme in the magical world. In the final book, you understand the importance of education in forming the views of the young and innocent. What is it that stops some of us from being racist as compared to others? It is education.

Mental health and stigma: The Dementors are meant to represent the blackness tormenting so many of us in the real world --- depression. Rowling identifies exactly what it is like to have a mental health problem like depression through the use of the dementors --- where you feel like you can never be happy again. In the second book of the series, when Ron and Hermione think Harry is hearing voices, Ron tells him that hearing voices is not a good sign even in the wizarding world. How many times have we heard this in the real world? Where if you hear voices, no one wants to be with you. You are almost alone apart from your loved ones. Talking about these issues in popular books like this helps people think differently and kudos to Rowling for talking about mental health.  

Free will versus Destiny: Even though a prophecy is revealed in Book 5 which reveals why Voldemort targetted Harry in the first place, we go on to learn that it doesn't mean a particular path is destined. Voldemort heard part of the prophecy which stated that a child born around the time Harry was would overcome him and that neither could live while the other survived. Voldemort took that prophecy to mean Harry was a danger to him. He marked Harry as his equal. What Dumbledore tries to teach Harry is that Harry doesn't have to kill Voldemort because a prophecy. But rather, Harry wants to avenge his parents deaths. I think this is a lesson to all of us who think that things in life are destined to be a certain way. Personally, I believe, if that were so, why would we bother? Yes, there may be paths but I think we have a certain amount of free will to choose which direction we want, thereby changing our destinies.

In addition to all the above, there are also themes about the damage of malicious rumour and gossip, the manner in which the media can and does blow things way out of proportion, how we judge people incorrectly based on their looks or who they are related to, the power of self-sacrifice and selflessness, independence, coming of age, and of course, the importance of love, friendship and family. However, if I were to go into all of these, I think I could write a whole book myself!

If you haven't read the Harry Potter books, you probably don't know what I am talking about. But I would highly recommend you read them.

If you have read the books, well, share your ideas too...I know there are lot more themes I probably haven't touched upon!

Finally, if you wish to read my reviews on the books in this series, go to the 'Read and Reviewed' section and click on the respective links.

*******

And on a slightly different note, this is my 500th post on this blog! Thank you all for continuing to read my thoughts and views --- you make blogging even more worthwhile!

*******

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

A, B, C...some more about me

I took on this tag from Scribby's blog. The A, B, C tag.

A
- Available: For my readers...always!
- Age: 27 [even though I forget and think I'm 28]
- Animals: Yes we are...

B
- Beer: Love it! Can't wait for summer when I can be back at the pub drinking a schooner or two...
- Birthday: Sometime in the beginning of the year...
- Best friend: More than just one
- Body Part on opposite sex: I was going to say smile but I guess that's not a body part, huh?
- Best feeling in the world: After eating great food, after working out at the gym, having read a good book, enjoying the cold beach water on a hot summer's day...
- Best weather: Sunshiney Spring. Where art thou?
- Been in Love: Yes. [Do you not read my blog? Do you not know Gilly?]
- Been on stage: Yes again...sigh...traumatic flashbacks!
- Believe in Magic: Hell yeah! How dare you ask me that,  you muggle!
- Believe in Santa: Nope. Fat guy in red suit climbing through chimneys. Really?
- Brand: Homebrand [Also known as the cheapie brand at Woolies]

C
- Candy: Floss?
- Colour: Purple
- Chocolate/Vanilla: Chocolate all the way
- Chinese/Indian/Italian: I'm guessing this is food and hence the answer is Indian; if it's men, then Italian...
- Cake or pie: Can I have both? Chocolate cake and an apple-berry or lemon meringue pie...
- Cheese: Brie, Camembert, Jarlsberg, Mozarella and plain old tasty cheese...love them all!

D
- Day or Night: Night...because I enjoy my sleep...
- Dancing in the rain: Ugh! I hate walking or driving in the rain...dancing would have to be ten times worse...


E
- Eyes: Four
- Ever failed a class?: Failed a Geography test and exam in Year 7 and an Economics test in Year 11
- Enemies: Probably...they haven't told me yet though
- Exercise: Trying to at least 4 days a week at the moment. Would like to do more!

F
- First thoughts waking up: Damn...it's morning already...
- Food: All of it...

G
- Greatest Fear: Losing loved ones
- Goals: Professional mainly...
- Get along with your parents: Yep...more often than not especially since I don't live with them! 

H
- Hair Color: Black...it has never been coloured
- Happy: I have a job I love, a roof over my head, food on the table and loved ones in my life...so yes, I am happy and content
- Holiday: What's that?

I
- Ice Cream: Always...a chocolate one please

J
- Jewelry: Mainly earrings [given I have three piercings on each ear]
- Job: Child and adolescent psychologist...love it...absolutely love it!

K
- Kids: Someday perhaps...currently the only ones I see I get to give back to their parents after an hour! :)
- Kickboxing or karate: Kickboxing!
- Keep a journal?: What do you reckon this might be??

L
- Love: A feeling...
- Laughed so hard you cried: Yeah...

M

- Milk flavour: Do I need to say it again? Chocolate!
- Movies: Alternative/Dramas
- Motion sickness: Not really
- McDonald’s or BK: I don't know what BK is. And I don't like loathe Maccas. Prefer not to have much fast food and if and when I do, it's Oporto

N
- Number: 7 [What...you asked for a number and apparently according to my late grandfather, 7 is my number!]

O
- One wish: Read the previous post to know that!

P
- Perfect Pizza: With a lot of cheese!
- Pepsi/Coke: Neither...not a fan!
- Perfume/Cologne: Perfume I suppose although usually I just use a deo!

Q
- Quail: eggs looks funny

R
- Reason to cry: At the drop of a hat
- Reality T.V : Is bullshit and the worst thing that ever happened to TV!
- Radio Station: 104.9 Triple M for the music on the way to work or 2UE 954 for AM talkback on the way home from work

S
- Song: Currently 'Another Day' by The Living End running through my head...
- Shoe size: A mini 5...which makes it bloody hard to get here!
- Salad Dressing: Italian or Greek
- Skinny dip: Might consider it when I've lost a bit more weight...
- Strawberries/Blueberries : Both!
- Sport: Cricket...test and one-dayers. Not T20!

T
- Tattoos: I wish! Need to overcome the fear of pain to get one.
- Thunderstorms: Hate them with a passion. Especially if I'm not indoors!

U
- Unpredictable: Nothing about me...

V
- Vacation spot(s): Hah! What vacation spots? You need money for that...

W
- Weakness: Food
- Who makes you laugh the most: Sheldon Cooper
- Worst Weather?: Rains

X
- X-Rays: Mostly of my teeth

Y
-Year it is now: Year of the Rabbit
-Yellow: Mellow

Z
- Zoo animal: Panda

I tag anyone else who wants to take this on.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

The Evil One

Ever wished someone dead? Like really, really dead? Not just in anger or frustration saying "I wish you were dead!" but rather an ongoing longing and counting down.

I have.

Just one person. For almost a decade now.

My paternal grandmother.

Yes, regular readers will have heard me whinge about her often. And new readers may think I'm callous and cold. But honest, if you knew her, you'd feel the same.

This is a woman who treated her own daughter like crap. Because she was a girl.

This is the woman who was verbally and physically abusive towards her husband when he was frail. She would hit him and call him a loser and say he wasn't a man.

This is the woman who openly favours her older son and thinks he can do no wrong despite him living miles away from her and only visiting once every three or four years.

This is the woman who says negative things about every single person apart from that oldest son of hers [and no, I'm not exaggerating] and then wonders why people don't visit her often.

This is the woman who has never once smiled [since I've been alive at least].

This is the woman who treats my mother like shit and finds fault with everything every single day and expects my father to be at her beck and call and who loathes me because I look like my mother but loves my sister because she looks like my uncle [her favoured son, remember?] and father.

This is the woman who despite living with my parents for 12 years and being a burden on them doesn't remember their birthdays or anniversary but will remember her favoured son's birthday and anniversary.

This is the woman who would give an Oscar-winning actor a run for their money given the way she acts like an invalid in front of my father but the minute he goes to work, she is all better.

This is the woman who lies through her teeth and then states she doesn't lie.

This is the woman who thinks everything has to be about her and brags about how great the family line is.

This is the woman who makes negative comments on the dark skin of my mother and me and praises the lighter skin of her sons and the favoured son's wife.

This is the woman who blames my maternal grandmother for apparently putting ideas of standing up to her into my mother's head in the last 5 years [and I ask, why did she wait for 25 years if that was the case???].

This is the woman who has always given away saris my parents have bought for her to others and always complained that there was something wrong with it. But at the same time will brag about what her favoured son brings her from America [which is by the way, a sari].

This is the woman who created a hue and cry because my father thought of going away for a couple of weeks on holidays [after almost 10 years of no break] with my mother and sister.

This is the woman who is narcissistic. So much so when my mother's bypass surgery was scheduled, she asked my sister that since she was going out [i.e. to the hospital] could she please exchange a sari that was bought for her? 

Why am I writing this now?

Because I am worried about my parents. I don't give a shit that the grandmother hates me because the feeling is and always has been mutual. It has never been about me. Probably because I was the only one standing up to her and her narcissistic ways.

The sad thing is my dad still doesn't stand up to her. And it pains me to see how they have aged. My mum had to undergo a bypass surgery thanks to the stress this woman creates. After all, my mum was fit and healthy and no cholesterol problems were found. But 12 years of putting up with this woman has its effects.

For my mum it was her heart. For my dad, I don't know. He has been having a fever lately and it hasn't gone away yet. Because he hasn't had time to recuperate. The grandmother too got a fever and expects him to still tend to her despite his own illness. And even though they have got some help for her, she wants it to be my parents answering her every beck and call. How is my dad supposed to get better?

What about the rest of the family, I hear you ask.

Well, they are fucked up too. They all suck up to her (read: my cousins and their families) only because they want the money after she dies. But when it comes to actually helping out at a time like this, no one wants to take responsibility.

I hear from my sister that my mum has lost weight again in the last month. She looked healthy when I was there back in June. The two times I have visited India after moving here I notice my parents looking older but the grandmother always looks all right. In fact, she seems to get fatter every time I visit. And apart from slow motor movements and slight loss of hearing which comes with old age, she is a healthy woman. My dad on the other hand looks older than his 60 years. [A friend of mine who visited after 6 years noticed it too] And mum, well, the fact that she had a bypass surgery at 52 should tell you the story.

I feel helpless. Talking to the grandmother doesn't help. Everyone has tried it...more so after mum's surgery...telling her she should leave and live with her favoured son. But she refuses [because his wife works and so there will be no one home to be at her beck and call] and her favoured son makes excuses to not have her too.

I am scared that one of my parents [or both] will die before the evil one dies. But I keep longing for the grandmother to die.

I used to joke with my sister --- neither god in heaven nor the devil in hell want the grandmother. And so they decided to keep her on earth.

Now I'm scared it might just be true. She is that evil. That narcissistic. That self-involved. With a cutting tongue. That can never say anything positive about anyone apart from her heritage and her favoured son.


I really, really want the grandmother to die. Not because I give a damn about what she has in her will or any such stupid stuff. But because that is the only way my parents are going to have some peace without dying themselves.

Just felt like I had to vent about this. All of this.

And please, don't bother making excuses for the grandmother...I could write a much longer post to prove to you just how twisted and vindictive and well, evil she is. But I don't want to give her more space on this blog than I just have.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Car-watching

This morning instead of being my usual disgruntled self on the way to work, I tried something different. Observing people in their cars from my own while waiting at a set of lights.

...the lady applying make-up while stopped at the lights. Eye-liner, mascara, lipstick, and other make-up equipment I have no clue about.

...the guy eating his toast and enjoying it.

...the guy tying his tie and getting frustrated.

...the lady talking nineteen to a dozen to her partner who continues to stare straight ahead at the stagnant traffic.

...the mother apparently lecturing her teenage daughter who is busy flicking through her phone.

...the man excitedly turning up the volume of his music and shaking his head to the beats.

...the man yawning at the rate of about a yawn every couple of seconds. And making me yawn too.

...the bus driver giving the students a friendly smile as they hop on the bus. And not all of them noticing to actually return it.

...the guy talking on his mobile phone and sounding quite busy before 8 in the morning.

...the lady apparently humming along to music and smiling. And in turn, making me smile too.

So many sights. So many sounds. All on a morning on the way to work. I need to pay more attention...not just to the traffic on the road but the variety life has to offer in the form of people, nature, and beauty.

I might try this more often. Try and be present.

So what things do you notice about people on your way to work or university?

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Ethics, Religion and Politics

Over the weekend I read a piece of news that had me annoyed. Apparently, the NSW state government made a deal with the Christian Democratic Party and its leader Fred Nile to consider removing ethics classes from schools. Let me explain.

Students attending government schools (aka public schools) in NSW used to have a class called scripture where they studied religious scripture. However, towards the end of last year, the previous state government introduced ethics classes as an alternative to scripture. In other words, they didn't remove scripture classes but gave students of non-religious families the option to study ethics. These ethics classes focus on issues ranging from children's rights, human rights, animal cruelty, to whether children should be allowed to vote. In short, it appears to be teaching children to think critically about a variety of issues. 

Fred Nile and his conservative CDP seem to think this is wrong. After all, who wants a generation to think critically when you can brainwash them with religious scripture, right? Remember, this is a guy who wants bills to be passed repealing laws that allow same-sex couples to adopt and to ban individuals (adults) from possessing pornography.

But you know what? Fred Nile is entitled to have his views and opinions. No matter how backward they may seem to you and me. If he thinks homosexuality is a sin, so be it. But he needs to understand that most of us do not subscribe to his views. And that is where my problem lies.

I have a problem with him trying to push religion and scripture (any religion, by the way) onto young children today. Young kids that attend the public school system. If parents really want their kids to be taught religious scriptures, that's what the catholic and other private religious schools are for. There are private Anglican, Catholic, Coptic, Greek Orthodox, Islamic and Assyrian schools that exist in NSW for parents who are keen for their kids to be oriented in the scripture and religion. The public system is not a place for preaching religion or scripture. Having said that, I am okay with scripture still being taught as long as it is a choice for students and not the only option thereby making it compulsory.

It makes my blood boil to think that the state government is even considering removing these classes. I was under the impression that the church (read: religion) has no place in politics. But I'm seriously starting to doubt that. What with the federal government spending millions to have chaplains in public schools (instead of qualified psychologists) and the state government thinking of giving in to a religious fanatic to get a vote on capping wages, I fear we may be heading the way the Americans did under Bush. Despite having an atheist prime minister. [Can you imagine how much worse off we would be with religious fanatic Tony Abbott???]

But I digress.

Here's a wonderful piece written by an 11 year old who wants the ethics classes to stay.

If nothing, I hope the government keeps the ethics classes so we have more intelligent kids thinking critically and making good decisions in life. Although then, as the 11 year old himself said,

But then again, if children could go to the polls then perhaps Fred Nile, the leader of the Christian Democratic Party in NSW, wouldn't have the power that he has today.

And maybe that's the ulterior motive. To keep brainwashing young minds to be able to be voted in a position of power and thereby ensure we live in  regressive society that thinks homosexuality is a sin and divorce is wrong and watching pornography will result in us going to hell.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Beautiful Malice

...by Rebecca James.

17 year old Katherine Patterson has moved to Sydney to get away from her life in Melbourne. While she lives with her aunt Vivien and attends Drummond High School with the aim of keeping to herself and getting through the HSC, she is befriended by Alice at school. Alice is infectious. An extroverted, bubbly girl living by herself in the inner city, breathtakingly beautiful and with no apparent regrets or anxieties. However, Alice avoids talking about anything emotional. But it doesn't bother Katherine as she too has a secret she wants to keep hidden. It has to do with the death of her younger sister Rachel. The very reason Katherine left Melbourne and chose not to go to Newcastle with her parents.  However, all is not right with Alice. She can be vicious and mean. She treats her boyfriend Robbie like dirt. She doesn't like it if things are not all about her.

Will Katherine put up with this or will she see through Alice? 

What is it about Katherine's past that makes her still feel so guilty?

What happened to her sister Rachel? What is the deep dark family secret? 

And what secrets does Alice have herself? 

To find out the secrets, read the book. All in all, it was a captivating thriller and I managed to read it in a day. The author has an engaging style and the plot is pretty interesting. The characters are average in that there isn't too much depth to them. However, you have to remember it is a book aimed at young adults and possibly the plot is more important than characters. Some of the shit that Alice dishes out to her 'friends' makes it a bit hard to understand why they put up with it. Why they put up with her. The book goes from present to past with an adult Katherine narrating the story. The adult Katherine appears to have dealt with a lot of grief through her life and is now living for the sake of her 4 year old daughter. In short, it is a great debut novel.

I would rate it a 4 out of 5.

***This has been written as part of the Aussie Author Challenge 2011***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!