The Help

...by Kathryn Stockett.

Set in the 1960s in the small town of Jackson, Mississippi, 'The Help' is narratted by Aibileen, Minny and Skeeter. Aibileen and Minny are both black maids working for white women. Despite the big difference in their age, they are also the best of friends. Skeeter, whose real name is Eugenia Phelan, is a white girl in her early twenties dreaming of being a writer. While working for a local newspaper answering people's questions about housekeeping and relationships, and missing her own maid who raised her when she was young, Skeeter hits upon an idea about what she can write --- a story from the point of view of maids who work for white families, raising white children for them. To do this, she recruits the help of Aibileen who works for one of her best friends, Elizabeth Leefolt.

In a time when there is a clear legal distinction between blacks and whites, Skeeter, Aibileen and Minny are all taking a big risk by merely interacting with each other on an almost social level. Furthermore, they are likely to be in great trouble for even broaching a sensitive topic. After all, if a coloured man could be beaten till he is blind for using a 'white' toilet, who knows what would happen to the three women for writing about race issues?  

The book delves into the risks the three women take to get the story of black maids out there, the risks Aibileen and Minny get into trying to recruit other maids to tell their stories and of course, the risk Skeeter takes going against what her friends Elizabeth and Hilly Holbrook, both high society ladies, and family appear to believe in. And most importantly, it looks into the formation of an unusual friendship between three women crossing the boundaries of their time. 

What stories do the maids have to tell?

How do people react upon the release of the book?


What are the repercussions for Aibileen, Minny and Skeeter? 

All this and so much more is explored beautifully in this debut novel by Stockett. The race issues in the deep south and the hypocrisy of society are amazingly portrayed. Not only does the book look into the division between blacks and whites, it also looks at the division between the high society white people and the so-called 'white trash'. While there still is a bit of that sense of the white person saving the black, I did think the characters of both Aibileen and Minny were portrayed beautifully with several strengths. The book manages to grip you right from the very beginning with moments of suspense, laughter and sadness.

All in all, I'd highly recommend it and give it a rating of 5 out of 5.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Note: You can read a review by Titaxy here on Bond with Books.

Journey of Life

Seated in the driver’s seat
On this journey called life
Meandering through the busy streets
Including moments of strife
I glance at the rear-view mirror
Reflecting back on the past
Memories that have thrilled me
And those that have shadows cast
Thinking of my ambitions
From childhood to teenage years
How some have been altered
Thanks to adult anxieties and fears
Fond thoughts of friends I’ve made
And more so, the ones I’ve kept
Times when I laughed out loud with them
And instances when I wept

There have been speed humps on this drive
And minor crashes as well
But facing these blocks in the road
Have made me a stronger individual
I work in a profession that I love
And have had some dreams come true
I am quite content with my mundane routine
Sharing the days with loved ones few
Despite not having all I want
I realise with gratitude that indeed
I have everything I could ask for
Everything that I need

I set the gear to drive
And press on full steam ahead
On this journey of my life
Waiting to explore every last second

***This has been written for Magpie Tales 88***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Curtsying the queen

I am not a fan of the royal family. I honestly think we should become a republic. I don't understand people's fascination with the royals in this day and age. And therefore, in the same vein, I couldn't understand all the hoopla around the queen's visit to Australia earlier in the week.

But it didn't end there. The media and other monarchists had a field day when Julia Gillard chose to not curtsy the queen but rather just bow and shake her hand. What's the big deal? There are people calling Ms Gillard disrespectful and arrogant and ruining the name of the country. There are people saying even children were better as they curtsied the queen. There are people vilifying Ms Gillard for her choice to not curtsy.

I don't understand it. And here Julia Gillard has been trying to defend herself.

I don't think she needs to defend her actions.

What makes the queen so special? Just because her ancestors were royals back in the day when they did have kings and queens? Shouldn't a handshake suffice? That's polite when you meet people in general.

I wouldn't like to be a Brit where my hard-earned taxes were going to the bloody royals. And I think it's about time we got rid of them. We do not need a king or queen in this day and age.

And we certainly do not need people vilifying the Prime Minister for not curtsying someone. So good on you Julia Gillard! I wouldn't curtsy either.

Would you curtsy the queen? Or anyone from the royals?


What's your view on the monarchs?

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Heartless...are we this way?

I am sure many of you have heard or read about the story of the Chinese toddler earlier this week. Two year old Yue yue was hit by a van and the driver apparently did not stop. But then, as she lay there injured in the middle of the road, there were passers by who walked around her and another vehicle driving over her. No one helped. Until a street cleaner finally was the one to pay attention and get help. As of today, Yue yue is dead.

Following this incident which seemed to be a global issue, there have been people questioning China's morality.

But I believe this could happen in several countries with a similar response.

For one thing, research in the 60s talked about bystander effect. The more people there are witnessing an incident, the less the chances of someone actually intervening. I will admit that others may argue people witnessing this incident were not in a group. But it's possible the same mentality exists --- someone else will come along and do something. Why should I?

But more importantly, I think society in general across the globe is desensitised. We see people dying every day on TV. It doens't affect us any more because we all are probably just grateful it's not us. Things happen in other countries. They don't happen to us. So what is another injured adult or toddler? Just like someone we watch in the movies or on TV. Someone else who is injured.

Don't think I am in any way condoning any of the above. But yes, I do believe mankind has become pretty heartless. And yes, I am cynical enough to think the good samaritans are few and far between.

In a situation like this one, by intervening the little toddler could have lived. All a person would have to do is call an ambulance. Understandably, there are situations which people witness and would not want to intervene (such as a watching someone getting bashed). But again, in most cases, calling emergency services would probably suffice.

Is it ironic that in a day and age where it is so much easier to contact emergency services with almost every individual having a mobile phone, fewer people probably do it?

So in short, it's not just the Chinese who need to take a hard look at themselves. The people on their high horses also need to take a good look at themselves and their own backyards.

Because trust me, heartlessness is more widespread than we would like to believe.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

The Tattooed Man

...by Alex Palmer.

 
Commander Paul Harrigan is called to a gruesome murder scene in the northern suburbs of Sydney. Four people are dead. One is a Senator's ex-wife. Another, his teenage son. The third is someone unknown. And finally, one is a corrupt detective from the police force, Mike Cassat who has been missing. In a mummified state. They have all been shot in the head.

As Harrigan searches for the killers, he becomes embroiled in a mess around corruption, politics, terrorism, fraud, biotechnology and espionage. With the help of his girlfriend Grace Riordan, who works for a specialist anti-terrorism organisation and can't talk much about her work, and his own team, Harrigan tries to crack the mystery. It takes him to different suburbs in Sydney to rural New South Wales to connections in Africa. 

What is Cassat's connection with the other victims? 

Who is or are the killers?


Why is Harrigan's own son, suffering from cerebral palsy kidnapped?


And will there be any justice?

The book was not great by any standard for mystery and thrillers. It felt like there were several issues trying to be tackled at the same time to the point where it became too far-fetched. So much so, I actually took a break from it and read a whole other book in between. In my opinion, a thriller should be a page-turner...one where you can't wait to find out whodunit. I didn't get that feel with this book at all. After all, I was able to take a break! The ending was a bit weird and anti-climactic too...which is saying something when the book wasn't all that thrilling. And while the characters of Harrigan and Riordan were pretty good, no one else really seemed realistic. All in all, a disappointment for me.

I give it a rating of 1 out of 5.

***This has been written as part of Aussie Author Challenge 2011***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Telemarketing Troubles

I hate telemarketers. With a passion.

I hate that they try to sell you stuff you don't want.

I hate that they call at weird hours. Like 7 p.m. at night when you are having dinner. Or 1 p.m. on a Saturday when you are relaxing. Or at any bloody time during the day.

I hate that they don't actually listen to you when you say you are not interested.

And I especially hate it when they call me 'Mrs' Lastname.

Yesterday, I had a telemarketer who went to an extreme that almost made me want to swear at her on the phone. And while I am usually firm and assertive, I have never been this rude to someone.

It was 1 p.m. Saturday arvo. The phone rings. I like an idiot answer it instead of just letting it go to the answering machine. The following is a gist of the conversation once I answered.

Telemarketer lady (with an Indian accent and pronouncing my last name perfectly): Good morning Mrs Lastname!

Me: Look, I'm not interested in whatever you have to offer me. [Because, anyone who knows me, doesn't say Mrs...it's obviously a telemarketer]

Telemarketer: But madam, you don't even know what I have to offer.

Me: I'm tired of you people calling to try and sell me stuff. I'm just not interested.

Telemarketer: What do you mean madam? You don't even know what I am calling you about.  

Me: I don't care what you are calling about because I'm not interested. And I'm really tired of having telemarketers from India calling me at all odd hours trying to sell me things. 

Telemarketer: What do you mean by that? 

Me: Well, all the telemarketers call from call centres in India trying to sell me stuff on Telstra and Vodafone and I have had enough of it! 

Telemarketer: And where are you from Mrs Lastname?

Me: I'm from Australia... (Remember, I have an Australian accent)

Telemarketer: C'mon madam...

Me: I'm Australian

Telemarketer: Don't lie Mrs Lastname.

Me (seeing red by now and on the verge of using abusive language): I am an Australian citizen and just because I am of Indian ethnicity doesn't make me un-Australian. For your information, Australia is a multicultural country...

Telemarketer hangs up.

I don't think I've ever been this angry after a call from a telemarketer. True, I have been frustrated with their tactics but never on the point of abusing someone. Part of me wishes I had abused her prior to her hanging up. Did she really think she could make a sale by calling me a liar? And do they keep calling me because of my last name thinking they can make a sale by working the Indian angle?

I hate telemarketers.

And after ranting to my friends, I found out about the Do Not Call register and have put myself on it.

Woe betide any telemarketer who calls me until that is activated. I am going to take out my frustration from Saturday-lady for sure.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

A Fortunate Life

...by A. B. Facey.

Albert Barnett Facey was born in 1894 in a small town in Victoria. When aged 2, his father died as a result of typhoid and two years later, his mother left Albert and his younger siblings in the care of their grandmother to be with her older children in Western Australia. When Albert was 5 and his Grandma was finding it difficult to make ends meet, she took Albert and his three older siblings Eric, Myra and Roy to Kalgoorlie in Western Australia. Once there, they lived with their aunt and uncle as their mother had remarried and only took Myra with her.

Albert began working from the age of 8 and this involved him living with different families on their properties in rural W.A. He hardly ever lived with his family since then. During his time working, Albert was physically abused by one of the families to the point where he nearly died. The physical scars of this remained for the rest of his life and although Albert eventually escaped and reported this to the police, the abuser never came to justice. He spent a few years with decent families and earned his keep. As he grew older, his mother made contact but it appeared to be more for money. Albert had several jobs on farms, railways, ships and factories. He was also a professional boxer and a star shooter. Eventually, he went to fight in World War I at Gallipoli. Here, he lost two of his brothers Roy and Joseph and he himself was injured by a bomb exploding near him and was sent home to Australia severely ill.

Back in Australia, he met Evelyn Gibson and married her. They had 7 children and were married for 60 years until Evelyn died. During this time, Albert battled his illnesses, had jobs with the Tramway, learnt to read and write (as he had never had any formal schooling during his childhood), set up his own farm and also ran for MP and was part of unions. He also campaigned for improved conditions for returned servicemen. During World War II, Albert and Evelyn lost their oldest son.

I read the book as part of my book club but I must admit, the title always left me intrigued to want to read it when I saw it at the bookshop. This is one of the first autobiographies I’ve read that is not about someone I know and not a cricketer. And I must say, it was an interesting read.

It has been written in very simple language and has to be commended given that the author learnt to read and write only as an adult. While I did think initially, there were pages that dragged on and information that was not necessarily required, it still kept me going. I was fascinated by this man who led a bloody hard life and yet, was able to see how fortunate he was. Today, we have so much more than what he did and yet, all we do is whinge about what we don’t have. If anything, this book and his life give you insight into how to live. It is the relationships that matter. And despite having hard times, these do not necessarily determine your life. Facey could have complained about a zillion things. And yet, in the end, he talks about how fortunate he was. And that, is commendable.

I give this book a rating of 3 out of 5.

***This has been part of the Aussie Author Challenge 2011***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

World Mental Health Day 2011

October is Mental Health Awareness Month.

And today, 10.10.11 is World Mental Health Day and the theme for this year is about investing in mental health. A day to acknowledge mental health and related issues was created by the World Federation for Mental Health back in 1992. Yet, there are probably several countries in the world where there is still hardly any importance given to the matter.

On this World Mental Health Day, my hope is that countries invest in creating awareness about mental health issues.

Mental illness still has a stigma attached to it. While there are some countries more accepting than others, mental health is still put on the backburner for most. There continues to exist a negative connotation about the word ‘mental’ and people seem to think it suggests something is very wrong with them or something negative about them. Rather, mental purely means about the mind. Having mental health problems doesn’t mean one is crazy. Rather, it just means one’s mind is not coping well. People are quick to see a doctor when they have physical health problems. But when it comes to mental wellbeing, they take their time thinking it will go away. While it sometimes might, more often than not, people will need help. And there is nothing wrong with that.

Apart from that, it would be great to have more early intervention services targeting children, adolescents and families but at the same time, not forgetting adults in need. After all, adults with mental health problems do have children themselves resulting in difficulties parenting and mental health problems for the kids as well.

Finally, on this World Mental Health Day, I would like to encourage all of you out there to acknowledge if you have mental health problems. They may not necessarily be psychoses but can also be depression or anxiety or post-traumatic stress disorders. And sometimes, you may need a helping hand to cope. There is nothing to be ashamed about needing a little extra help. This may be from a friend or family member but it may also be from a professional. And if you are mentally well but have a friend or family member with problems, do talk to them and recommend they get assistance.

Let’s be more aware and spread the message about mental health.

It is not something to be ashamed of. It is something to get help for.

So do your bit. Become aware.

For your own sake. 

For your own wellbeing.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

4 years on...

Over Cups of Coffee turns 4!

It's been four years since I started blogging here. In these 4 years, Over Cups of Coffee has acquired its own domain name, has 500+ posts, 289 followers, 7500+ comments, a page rank of 3, and most importantly, regular readers!

In these years, I have learnt that...

...there are people out there who actually listen read my opinions and what I have to say. 

...even though you have 200+ followers, there are only some regulars who read it all.

...I long for the comments and thoughts of some individuals on my controversial posts or my rants.

....there are people with similar opinions as me.

...age is no bar in the blogging world. I have readers younger than me who don't seem so. And readers older than me and who I can still relate to.

...anonymity still suits me just fine.

...I am likely to stick with Blogger. Even if they still haven't got the threaded comments option!

...I post more for myself than to cater to the masses. And it means my posts can be even more passionate. Which then somehow does appeal to my readers.

...readers do make my day.

...I am addicted to blogging just as I was some years ago. Even if I don't post as much.

...when I get persoal emails from readers, I am even more excited! 

To all my readers out there --- regulars, buddies, lurkers --- thanks for continuing to stick with me. I truly appreciate it.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Political Correctness Madness

In this day and age, why would anyone want to become a teacher???

After all, teachers have no rights whatsoever over the students. Students rule the roost. Students don't respect teachers. Teachers have to cop verbal abuse from students. They are not allowed to comfort a child who is hurt. They are not allowed to intervene when kids are bashing each other up in the school ground and instead of stopping the bully, have to pull the victim away. And now, teachers also have 'read' legal rights to the students before speaking to them.

If you read the story I have linked above, the gist is, a 14 year old boy got acquitted in court for stabbing a servo attendant because he confessed to his teacher who made a statement to the police and according to the court, the teacher should have informed the boy about legal consequences prior to the boy confessing. In other words, I suppose the court wanted the teacher to say "Anything you say or do can be use against you in a court of law".

Is the judge for real???

It's a fucking joke. That's not remotely funny.

As a psychologist, we are mandated to inform clients at the very beginning that anything they tell us will be confidential unless there is a risk of harm to them or others. But teachers do not have anything like that. They are not psychologists. They do not have confidentiality clauses. So why does a teacher have to explain such a thing to a student? It's not in their role.

And what next? If someone in the community gets told by another individual about a crime, are they supposed to read them their legal rights as well? I thought that was only something the cops had to do.

This court case has set a precedent. One where teachers are probably not going to report crimes of students. Or one where no one wants to report a crime they have heard. Or one where the child or adolescent knows they can get away. Yet again.

On the plus side, there has been an appeal made to the DPP to review this. And the state government thinks it is an appalling decision as well.

I work with kids and adolescents. But I think we have gone too far the other way in terms of their rights. To the point where the adults involved i.e. parents, teachers, police have fewer rights than the kids. And trouble is, the kids know that.

Things don't have to be black and white. The answer to curbing child abuse is not complete permissiveness and lack of discipline or power. There has got to be a middle ground. Right now, we have helpless parents, helpless teachers, helpless police and yes, sometimes, helpless therapists.

It's a bloody nightmare!

I think things are getting worse instead of better. And personally, I wouldn't want to be a teacher today. Or a cop for that matter. Or even sometimes, a parent.

Politicians --- are you listening? Do something about it!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

The Whistleblower

I watched The Whistleblower last night. It is inspired by a true story of a police woman, Kathryn Bolkovac from Nebraska who was sent to Bosnia following the ethnic wars as part of international peacekeeping missions via the UN. In the process of her work, she uncovers a scandal of human trafficking. Young girls from Russia and other countries being sold to pimps for sex and sodomy. And the worst part is, the so-called peacekeepers from the US and other countries are involved not just in prostitution but in the trafficking of these girls. The more she uncovers, the more her life is in danger. And the more she puts her job at stake.

This was an incredible movie. And very disturbing given that it was inspired by true events. Rachel Weisz was brilliant and totally believeable. Apparently, these peacekeepers were hired by contract agencies through the UN. And apparently, similar agencies continue to send peacekeepers to Iraq and Afghanistan in the last few years. Which begs the question --- is this continuing to happen? Kathryn Bolkovac put her life at risk to help these young girls. But diplomatic immunity helps prevent the international perpetrators from being prosecuted. And it's scary to think how many people were involved in this.

Human trafficking is an illegal and organised crime. It is second only in the world to illegal drug trafficking. Yet, how many people know about it compared to drugs? And corruption still appears to be rife world over. It's scary when you think about what power can do to people. It almost makes one lose faith in humanity. And definitely makes you more cynical!

The movie stayed with me long after. I am still getting intrusive images. And I couldn't stop crying. I don't think it was just me though...I noticed another woman in tears outside the movie hall. It is a difficult one to watch. But one I would recommend. If only to have an understanding of what goes on out there in the real world. Away from our little safe bubbles.

Hats off to individuals like Kathryn Bolkovac. Who stand up for morality and humanity. Against all the odds.

We need more people like her.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

She's gone...

The flatmate is gone.

She decided two weeks ago she was going to leave and move into a place of her own. She has been here for a year and 2 months so it's understandable. On the one hand, it's a bit of a downer as it does mean a loss of money. 

But there's a huge part of me that's glad though. More space in the house (until I get another flatmate). Cleanliness according to my standards, especially in the kitchen (What is it with people not keeping the kitchen clean??). Not worrying about someone else being home when I get home (Apart from Pebbles). No trashy reality TV on in the lounge room (Yes, she was a reality TV fan). No more worrying about neighbours thinking I'm nuts due to Opera singing coming from the unit. And no more do-it-yourself attempts resulting in possible breakages (A few things including the bedroom doorknob was broken in this process). And no more homophobic comments!

I'm going to enjoy my space for a while at least. Until I have to deal with another flatmate.

And in the mean time, I get to clean the house this long weekend!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!