Over Cups of Coffee

Uncomfortable Feelings

2012-01-29T17:57:00.004+11:00

This feeling of dread

Tells me something is wrong
Or that something bad will happen
So that I’ll be unable to stay strong
And everything I’ve done
Will matter no long
All I can hope
Is that it means nothing
It is just an uncomfortable feeling
That within moments will be gone
So I can continue with life
And finally move on

***This has been written for One Single Impression Prompt 205***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Forgiveness

2012-01-27T15:43:00.001+11:00

"Forgive and forget". Apparently a mantra for us human beings if we want to continue living a reasonable life I suppose. I have been thinking about forgiveness lately. Especially after, coincidentally, I read a brilliant book and watched a brilliant movie which had themes of forgiveness in them. I don't want to give away much about who the protagonist tries to forgive in the book as it would give away a lot. But in the movie, The Descendants, the promos kind of give you an idea already so I'll talk about that.

In 'The Descendants', George Clooney's wife is in a coma and he then finds out from his daughter that she had been having an affair. And as you can imagine, his heart is pretty much ripped out of him. Personally, I cannot imagine forgiving someone who has cheated on me. When I hear about relationships where one partner has cheated on the other and yet, the one who has been cheated on takes the partner back, I don't know how they do it.

I used to say that I could forgive people but never forget what they did. I guess I thought they were mutually exclusive. When I think about it now, I wonder --- if you can't forget what a person has done to you, you probably have not been able to actually forgive them. I remember for years holding on to grudges about how my parents had wronged me [read: punished me for certain things but not my sister for the same] and even though I kept saying I'd forgiven them, I hadn't really forgotten any of those perceived unjust events. And I would regularly bring them back up in arguments and disagreements in chronological order. However, about 5 years ago or so, I think I really and truly forgave them. Because somewhere in my adult mind, I got some perspective of things. That I was not so hard done by. And now, I don't necessarily remember each and every unfair event.

I don't think there is any right way to forgive. Or even any rule that we should forgive. After all, if you think of some of the most atrocious crimes committed, you cannot possibly expect victims to forgive the perpetrators! Yet, there are some who do. And just like with the cheating partner, I don't know how they get the strength to forgive.

Some questions I find that pop up for me are: When do people know to forgive? Is it when they find themselves so stuck with resentment and holding grudges that it affects their daily lives? Or is it just a time thing? And can you forgive someone without letting them know you have forgiven them? Like for instance, if someone you haven't forgiven is dead, can you forgive them and successfully move on with your life? I'm not really looking for answers around this. I just find myself asking the questions.

But there are questions I'd like to ask you.

Do you find it easy to forgive someone? No matter what they may have done?

And do you think you can forgive but not forget? Or have you learnt that they are not mutually exclusive?

Do share.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Wordless Wednesday - Happy Australia Day (in advance)

2012-01-25T19:59:00.000+11:00

Pebbles getting into the Australia Day spirit

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

The Alternate Career

2012-01-23T21:41:00.000+11:00

N and I went to see Akmal Saleh's stand-up comedy last night after I won a couple of tickets to the show. After the show, we had dinner and just conversed as usual. Both of us are in the same field of work. One of the topics that came up was about alternate careers. If we weren't psychologists, what would we be?

I remember having a Plan B and a Plan C prior to coming to Australia...in case my dreams of doing postgraduate psychology didn't work out. Plan B was to become a teacher. An English teacher to be precise. Especially given my love for the language [and some would argue, how pedantic I can be!] Plan C was completely unrelated. It was to get a diploma in Personal training. You know...the whole fitness thing. Mind you, this was at a time when I was going to the gym and loving it back in India. A time when I didn't have to cook dinner for myself or do any of that and hence had enough energy for the gym!

N however wanted to know what I would do in an ideal world. If I didn't have to worry about money or needing a job that paid well. And I guess with that, my alternate career would have been a writer. Yes...a writer. I know I love to write. And keeping this blog is part of that. I don't always have to write something creative but when I do, I know it's deeply personal. There is something so gratifying about being able to put down your thoughts on paper. Whether it is your opinion or just letting those creative juices take form.

Apart from being a writer, another ideal career would be owning a bookstore. My very own bookstore. Sort of like the one Meg Ryan owns in 'You've got mail'. Imagine that! I would probably be reading all the books prior to selling them. It would be my land of dreams!

Despite dreaming of these alternate careers, I must admit, I love my chosen career path. Yes, I have my days. But most of the time, I love the work I do. And who's to say I can't do the whole writing thing simultaneously? [Yeah, I like to dream sometimes!]

So what about you my dear readers?

If money was no bar and education wasn't an issue, is there a dream career for you? Do share...

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Re-start

2012-01-21T16:55:00.001+11:00

I wish life had a re-start button.

Barely 20 days into the new year and I wish I could go back to New Year's Eve and re-start it. Why you ask? Well, let's see. I have been sick. And therefore tired. [All recovered now]. I had someone run into the back of my car [No severe damage...just really startled]. This was 5 days after I witnessed an accident on the way to work. I had some near misses while driving thanks to other idiots on the road. Some other stressors in life too in conjunction with all this. The weather has been shitty and so not beach weather!

The only highlights appear to have been us winning the test series by railroading the Indians and Clarkey getting 300 plus runs. Oh, and me turning another year older.

But can I re-start 2012 and change things around?

Pretty please?

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Wordless Wednesday - Stubborn

2012-01-18T00:00:00.000+11:00

No, you can't go to work! And I'm not moving...

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Gratitude Photo Challenge - Day 6

2012-01-15T17:31:00.001+11:00

Day 6 of the challenge requires me to put up a photo about something very close to my heart --- BOOKS! And have I got the perfect shot!

Books to be read. Pic taken retro-style

These are all the books on my bookshelf that I have yet to read. Trust me to continue buying more books even though I haven't finished the lot. I was good for a long time and had brought it down to the mid-twenties but then I went nuts again! Sigh. It's hard to resist bargains sometimes. :|

Please tell me that there are some of you out there who are as bad as I am!!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

And Yet...

2012-01-11T21:04:00.000+11:00

Source

A life so full

And yet, so empty

People all around me

And yet, I feel lonely

I am confident

And yet, I crumble

I want to speak out

And yet, words stumble

I have so much

And yet, I’m unsatisfied

I long for change

And yet, I’m terrified

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Book Review: The Man who loved Children

2012-01-10T12:04:00.001+11:00

...by Christina Stead.

First and foremost, don't let the title put you off. This isn't a story about paedophilia. Rather, it is about an American family --- the Pollits. The head of the family is Sam Pollit --- a chauvinist, a narcissist, who loves his children, enjoys his work as a public servant and believes his morals and his way of living is the right way of living. Then there is his wife. His second wife, Henny Pollit. With physical and possibly, mental health issues of her own. And a brood of children --- Louise (aka Louie) from his dead first wife, Rachel, Ernest, Evelyn (aka Evie), Sam and Saul (twins) and Tommy. The children are unaware of their mother's misery and together with Sam take it in their stride. However, Louie seems to be able to see through her father at times. Not always though. Sam basically can't provide for his huge family and Henny is snobbish enough to not be able to budget despite borrowing from others.

During this period, Sam gets sent to Singapore for a period of 10 months on work. Upon his return, he is faced with crises. His wife gives birth again. To a son named Charles. His rich father-in-law dies leaving them nothing. And he has to move his family from their home as his late father-in-law didn't leave it to them. And finally, he loses his job thanks to negative reviews from Singapore. As he loses his job, Sam ends up staying home and being a father to his children as well as other kids from the neighbourhood. He talks about eccentric views and ideas while at the same time treating his wife like shit. His behaviour towards Louie sways from one end to the next. He is sweet at times and viciously mean at others. Unfortunately, he seems to think it is all in jest and the other children get their laughs too. All in all, it tells the story of a highly dysfunctional and unhappy family.

This is a massive book spanning about 500 plus pages. But the story woven by Stead is remarkable. It appears to be so realistic that you cringe and you worry with the characters. Despite the fact that it was set back in the 1940s or so, you could readily believe a story like this to be set in the current day. There are still such dysfunctional families. There are still such unhappy families. There are men like Sam who continue to believe where a woman's place is supposed to be. It was probably worse back then but it exists even now. His brutality and violence towards Henny, both physically and emotionally make you loathe him. The manner in which he treats his children is also written beautifully. He truly believes he loves them. He has nicknames for the entire lot. But at the same time, should they think contrary to him, they face his wrath in the form of words. The book leads up beautifully to a climactic ending which isn't necessarily a happy one.

Apparently, the book was first based in Sydney but in a re-issue edition in 1965 (which I ended up reading), it was changed to an American family based in Washington. It's a bit disappointing because I would have preferred to read the original version. However, it looks like the American one is the only one in print.

To sum up, this book is a brilliant look into dysfunctional families. How unhappy life can get when adults in the family don't act their role and remain idealistic and self-involved. Some of the reading might be a bit difficult due to Sam's eccentricities and the manner in which he says things but the reader can definitely get past that. I give it a rating of 4 out of 5.

***This has been reviewed for Aussie Author Challenge 2012***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Gratitude Photo Challenge - Day 5

2012-01-08T08:32:00.000+11:00

Morning Sky. That's the topic for Day 5 of the Gratitude Photo Challenge. And while I was looking through my pictures, I realised just how few photos of the morning sky I have! I have heaps of sunsets or evening or twilight skies...but only about three to four morning skies. And mind you, in the last few months, I have actually been waking up at about 5. You'd think that would be a perfect time to take some morning sky photos. I blame it on not being completely awake! I might try and take some this year though. Let's see how we go. Anyway, these are some shots of the morning sky I thought I'd share:

View of the sunrise from my bedroom balcony

Beautiful morning sky in the background

Captain Cook bridge & Georges River amidst blue skies

Have you got any beautiful morning skies you would like to share on your blog? Leave a link in the comments if you do...

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

How do you know...

2012-01-06T19:59:00.002+11:00

...if the path you have chosen in life is the right one?

...if the decision you make will lead to something positive?

...if the relationship you are in will work out?

...if the friends that you have will be with you a decade later?

...if the words you say will ever have an impact on another?

...if he or she is 'the one'?

...if the job you are in is the one to take you to where you want to be?

...if you are in love?

...if compromising will get you what you want?

...what life has in store for you?

...what challenges lie ahead?

...if this is the life you actually want?

...if you are living life to the fullest?

...what people really think of you?

...if any of the decisions you make will be the 'right' one?

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Gratitude Photo Challenge: Day 4

2012-01-03T16:30:00.000+11:00

Day 4 of the challenge involves me putting up a picture of leaves. I thought I'd put up a variety that I encountered on a walk the other day in my neighbourhood. I was amazed at the different types of trees and hence, the different kinds of leaves in what is basically a 15 minute amble.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Blogging: Looking back at it all

2012-01-02T15:23:00.000+11:00

Scribby tagged me with a blogging tag that seems so very appropriate to do in the new year.

What this tag is about:
To unite bloggers (from all sectors) in a joint endeavour to share lessons learnt and create a bank of long but not forgotten blog posts that deserve to see the light of day again.

Rules:
1) Blogger is nominated to take part

2) Blogger publishes his/her 7 links on his/her blog – 1 link for each category. The links are:

– Your most beautiful post

– Your most popular post

– Your most controversial post

– Your most helpful post

– A post whose success surprised you

– A post you feel didn’t get the attention it deserved

– The post that you are most proud of

3) Blogger nominates up to 5 or more bloggers to take part.

4) These bloggers publish their 7 links and nominate another 5 more bloggers

And so it goes on!

So now, I look back on my 4 years of blogging and sift through the posts:

1. Most beautiful post: I'm supposed to choose one beautiful post. Damn. That's hard. Please forgive me for this one but I am going to have to choose 3: 'My Role Model', 'Dear Dad...' and 'You'. These were posts about three people in my life. Three people who have been my family for 27 years (and 22 for my sister). Yes, I still get the shits with each of them at different times as I'm sure they get with me too. But in the end, they are my family.

2. Most popular post: According to blogger stats, my most popular post is Dream on: Home sweet home. I think that's thanks to the photos and the search terms that lead people to this post. However, in terms of the comments, the most popular post appears to be 'You know you are addicted to blogging...' with over 110 comments [thanks to Indiblogger].

3. Most controversial post: The minute I read this topic, I knew exactly which post to highlight. It was written back in 2009 when all of India was crying foul about racist Aussies. And I couldn't shy away and put forth my differing opinion from Australia. I did get some comments as well about how I was one of those people who changed their views on leaving India and not a patriotic Indian [Regulars know I've not changed...I've always been this way]. So here's my most controversial post till date named 'Racial Row'.

4. Most helpful post: Hmm, with my passion for psychology and mental health and feminism, I would hope there are a few posts out there that people find helpful. I think if anything, my post 'Perfection' is helpful in that I have spoken about how this obsession with the elusive perfection in all aspects of life is probably what results in mental health problems.

5. A post whose success surprised you: Hmm, well, my most popular post according to Blogger stats is a surprise. But like I said, that's possibly because of the pictures. I am also surprised about the success of some of my creative writing. But I think most of all, I was surprised by the success of 'The Evil One'. I expected to cop a lot of flak for writing something like that. I was sure people wouldn't comment because of the topic. But things turned out differently.

6. A post you feel didn't get the attention it deserved: I think that would be my post titled 'On being Normal'. I thought it would have a lot more comments in the form of a discussion because of our obsession with normality...but oh well, I probably didn't choose the right time.

7. The post you are most proud of: Once again, I find myself wondering how I can choose just one. I am proud of quite a few posts particularly those about topics I am passionate about. I was very proud of 'Why Harry Potter is not just a kid's book...' as well as 'Dark-skinned girl'. I think in the end, there are 2 posts I am most proud of and they include 'Mirror, mirror...who is the fairest of all?' and 'You asked for it'.

So there you go. I admit I have probably cheated and have more than 7 links. But I honestly could not help it. After 4 years of blogging, it's hard to choose!!! Now it's my turn to pass this on to at lesat 5 other bloggers. In no particular order, they are:

PeeVee (Only started following her last year so would love to see her highlights)
Srinidhi (Same as above)
Towards Harmony (Same reason as above)
Titaxy (to make her look back at her brilliant work and get back to blogging!)
Richa (she too has been missing from the blogging scene for a bit)
Maddie (Again, only recently been following her)
Gayatri (New follower and would love to read some of her highlights)

So I look forward to reading the posts of people I've tagged.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Welcome to 2012

2012-01-01T12:35:00.000+11:00

It's 1.1.12. Past mid-day already on this side of the globe.

I wonder whether I should make any resolutions. More often than not, my track record shows that I break them quickly anyway. Plus, the world is supposed to end this year ;)

I guess one thing for sure is that I want to lose the weight I appear to have put on in the last week. It's back to healthy eating from today and the gym from tomorrow. Apart from that, I look forward to a better work-life balance.

All in all, I hope this year brings everyone good health, happiness and good times.

So once again, Happy New Year to all of you and your families.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

2011: A look back

2011-12-29T16:30:00.000+11:00

I don't think I've ever done a post like this but given the whirlwind year I've had, I thought it might be a good idea to reflect back on some of it. My busy days and weeks barely give my any time to reflect.

Work has been good this year in that I have learnt a lot. And I'm still growing. I find that I am enjoying seeing most of my clients. There are the odd few I don't look forward to. And I'm getting a whole lot of satisfaction. Of course, towards the end of the year, I started to feel the effects on my health. And realised that as much as I care about my clients, I have to be a tad selfish and look after myself too. And that means, no more bringing work home in the form of reports. All in all though, it has been a much better year work-wise compared to 2010 where I found myself stuck in a job that seemed to be getting nowehere after the first few months resulting in my jumping ship after 8 months or so. But this one's a keeper. One year and 4 months on, I am still enjoying it.

On the personal front, I started going to the gym again after almost 6 years. And the results have shown a bit. My mood is definitely a lot better. And I have lost some weight [although I fear that in this Christmas period, I may have put it all back on!] It has been enjoyable and something I am glad to say, I kept up even during the winter months. Since the change in daylight savings, I have been going at 6 in the morning and finding that it works out a lot better...I prefer coming home after a tiring day of work!

Pebbles entered my life in the second half of the year. And every moment with her has been precious. Her presence in the house is something I just can't even begin to describe. In fact, as I write this post, she has been at the vet since 9 a.m. for a desexing surgery and I couldn't focus on anything until I called the vet an hour ago to find out how things went. [Apparently went well...]. Apart from my anxiety about her welfare, I find the unit so empty without her prancing around or shadowing me. I guess it's something I've learnt this year --- to care for someone so utterly dependent on me.

I had a bit of travel this year too. Early on in the year, I went to Hervey Bay for a week. And then in June, visited my family back in India. Hervey Bay was beautiful. Bombay was nostalgic. Met up with the family. Felt good that mum seemed to be doing better. Was sick through most of my trip there. Got to attend my best friend from high school's wedding. Had the question about marriage posed to me more often than I liked. Fought with the grandmother. Who finally left this earth in November.

Times spent with friends and loved ones were precious moments for me this year. Whether it was movies at the Dendy with R, catching up with C in the city, having A come up from Melbourne for a weekend, games evenings and nights with the girls, Thursday night dinner and shopping with N, dinner once a month with J, time with my mum, dad and sis, moments with best friends like M from college...all moments I hold close to my heart. And I'm very grateful for.

Things that could have gone better probably would be my finances. Somehow, for some reason, I find that no matter how frugal I am, there isn't much money saved! And I am not someone who impulsively spends. I reckon the cost of living is going through the roof! Apart from that, a better work-life balance is certainly required. I have been bringing home reports this year which has not helped this. And finally, if the one team that won the cricket world cup hadn't won it, it would have been even better!

All in all, I am so grateful for the life I have. For the year I've had. Yes, there have been downs but there have also been a lot of ups. And after all, what is life without these ups and downs?

So thanks 2011. You've been all right.

And 2012. I look forward to what you have in store.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Aussie Author Challenge 2012

2011-12-27T09:24:00.000+11:00

Following the completion of the 2011 challenge, I've decided to take up the 2012 Aussie Author Challenge at Booklover Book Reviews.

The challenge has two levels:

TOURIST: Read and review 3 books by at least 2 different Australian authors

DINKY DI: Read and review 12 books by at least 6 different Australian authors

I will aim to of course read 12 books but only time will tell whether or not I am successful. This challenge is not just for Australians...anyone else around the world is free to sign up. So if you are even the slightest bit interested, go ahead and sign up. Don't forget to put up the badge on your blog either!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

2011 Aussie Author Challenge - Complete

2011-12-26T09:21:00.000+11:00

I completed the 2011 Aussie Author Challenge [with about 5 days to spare!]at the True Blue Level. The True Blue reader was supposed to read 12 books by at least 9 different Aussie authors. And here's my list for the year:

So there it is! 12 books by 12 different authors. I think I am going to take up their 2012 challenge too as it has been great reading authors I haven't read before. Of course, I did have my share of disappointments but I think I also found authors I would love to read more of. Looking forward to doing more of it in 2012.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Truth

2011-12-26T09:05:00.000+11:00

...by Peter Temple.

Inspector Stephen Villani is the head of Homicide. He is called to a swanky hotel where a young woman --- a girl --- is lying dead. Possibly a prostitute. However, the hotel owners don't want to make a big deal of the death. They respect their clients' privacy and given the recent opening, want it to be big. And news like this is detrimental to their prospects. So begins a cover up. And more murders. Villani and his team attempt to solve the murders while at the same time, he has to deal with personal issues --- a failing (or failed?) marriage, a 15 year old daughter gone astray, a brother who is possibly dealing with bikies and drugs and a father who won't leave his property despite bushfire threats. The whole case gets very political with the important people possibly involved and trying to get Villani off the case. To no avail.

This book won the Miles Franklin Award and the Victorian Premier Literary award in 2010. All I found myself thinking was --- how??? Am I missing something? The book didn't do much for me at all. There were too many characters and I got lost as to who was who. It seems like a fast paced action that probably would be more suited to the TV than to a book because you just get lost. Villani's character is probably the only one that seems to grow and that the reader gets an insight into. Everyone else is just there. I don't know if that makes much sense. But honestly, I struggled to read this book and even the ending wasn't worth it for me.

I rate it 1/5. If you have read the book, please tell me if I'm missing something!!!

***This has been written as part of the 2011 Aussie Author Challenge***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T08:38:00.001+11:00

On this special day, I wish you all...

Great food...

Great wine...

Great sweets...

Great company...

Great presents under the tree...

Source

Wishing all my readers a Merry Christmas!

And now I'm off to the beach to kickstart my summer [finally!!] and my Christmas Day!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Blood Donation

2011-12-24T08:01:00.001+11:00

I donated blood for the very first time in my life yesterday! For someone who hates even having blood tests, it was a big deal. I went with a couple of colleagues from work to a blood donation centre nearby after work yesterday.

It's an interesting process. If you've never given blood before, you have a couple of questionnaires to complete including your basic details and a health history. Following that, you are taken to an interview room and interviewed by one of the staff. Basically, it's just them cross-checking the information and clarifying if you have answered 'yes' to some of the questions. If they are satisfied with your responses and with your height and weight, the next step is a prick on the finger to get a quick blood sample to check for iron levels and some other stuff I have no clue about.

Finally, you are taken into the room to actually donate the blood. The ladies at the centre I went to were great. Knowing that I had never donated and that I was anxious, they did their best to put me at ease. And you know what? It just hurts for a second when the needle is inserted into your vein. Of course, you have to have it in for about 10 mins while about 500 mls of your blood is taken. Given that I'm very queasy at the sight of blood, I just didn't look at it being sucked through. Once you are done giving all that blood, they get you to wait on the chair for another 5 mins or so and then ask you to have something cold to drink [which they provide] to replenish yourself. All in all, it's a process that takes about 30 mins to an hour if you've never done it before. It's quicker if you have.

I am glad I did it. I am now keen on doing it more often. I think given the shortage of blood and knowing how important it is, I might as well do my bit while I am healthy. I also know that last year when mum had to go through her open heart surgery, she needed a whole lot of blood. And I'm sure there are many other people like her.

So if you are in Australia and are healthy, please do your bit and give blood. You can find your nearest Red Cross Blood Donor Service through here. They also have a questionnaire about whether you are capable of giving blood or not and also talk about what to do before [drink lots of water, eat something]. You can also do a bit of Christmas giving this year by giving blood!

It's something so small that can mean something big!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Are we losing our skills?

2011-12-22T14:37:00.001+11:00

With the rapid pace at which technology is advancing these days, I tend to wonder --- are we losing out on essential skills? Life has become a breeze for most of us with so many technological gadgets within our reach. If I think about my house alone, I have a microwave oven, a blender, a food processer, a laptop, TV, music system, washing machine and fridge. Most of these have become essentials. To the point where when I found out a friend of mine doens't have a microwave, I asked her how she reheated her food! [Duh...stove top!]

Apart from what I have though, there are several more gadgets that people use and it's some of these that make me wonder whether we are slowly losing skills. Take for instance, the Navmans or TomToms to help with the directions. I don't own one. I use a street directory with actual maps instead. And while I admit that my map reading skills aren't the best, they have definitely improved. Plus once I do take a new route, after the first or second time, I am able to recognise the way to get there. On the other hand, a dear friend of mine, N has had a TomTom now for a couple of years. And she is so reliant on it that she doesn't actually focus on the landmarks etc to help her remember the route. To the point where she was in a relationship with a guy and even after 8 months, would punch his address into the TomTom everytime she visited his place!

The other loss of skill that concerns me is basic mathematical skills. Kids nowadays use calculators most of the time. To the point where mental arithmetic is a skill not honed by many. Maths was never really my strong point. But when it comes to dividing the bill after dinner with a group of friends, I'm the one they look to as I can be quicker than the calculator. And no, I'm not saying that I have great mathematical skills...all I'm saying is that my basic addition, subtraction, multiplication and division skills have been honed enough throughout the years so as to not have to always depend on the calculator [I still need the calculator for large sums!!] I find myself wondering more so about kids these days. What with calculators and spell check, are they ever going to learn the basics? Possibly not if one of my psychology lecturers is to be believed. He used to be appalled by the atrocious spellings by postgrad students.

The rate at which we are going, kids are probably also going to lose gross motor skills [thanks to spending more time pressing buttons than kicking or catching a ball], handwriting skills [with all that typing, who needs to write!], speech and social skills [with all the texting and facebooking and twittering, who needs to speak face to face] and finally, thinking and reasoning skills [thanks to all the googling and getting your answers and mindnumbing reality TV].

Technology is great with so many things available so quickly at the touch of a button. But at the same time, are we depleting parts of our brains that used to do things technology now does for us?

After all, if you don't use it, you lose it!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Moments that make it worthwhile...

2011-12-21T08:00:00.003+11:00

Driving home after work. Tired. Hungry. Listening to the radio. I turn into one of the side streets I take regularly. A little kid on the footpath --- possibly about 5 or 6 years of age --- waves out to me and keeps waving. How can you not smile and wave back? And so I did.

**********

Terminating with a client who has achieved their goals. They give me a Christmas present. After a day of seeing 6 clients along with having allergies and sniffling and sneezing all day, I get home tired and weary. And look at the card attached to the Chrissy hamper. And the heartfelt words of thanks from the adolescent make me cry. And also realise why I do the work I do. Not for the thanks. But for being able to make a difference in someone's life.

**********

The impatient meowing when I walk up the stairs --- Pebbles knows when I'm home from the sound of the garage door. And the purring and rubbing against my feet once I am indoors. The little kiss. And the shadowing until I play with her.

**********

Receiving a Kris Kringle pressie from a friend who knows you so very well. And knows the colours of nailpolishes you love thanks to window shopping once a month and trying on a whole load of stuff!

**********

Sharing an office space with a colleague who you know you can trust to rant about a couple of others you both don't like. Enjoying those 'ranting' moments listening to each other. And warning each other if someone else is coming along. Despite an age difference that never seems to be there!

**********

Telling a certain someone exactly what you want for Christmas (because you know their memory isn't great when it comes to your hints) and they say they'll get that and something else as a surprise.

**********

Wearing a top you haven't worn since 2006 and finding that it still fits perfectly and that you can still feel sexy on the weekend hanging out with friends!

**********

Despite the crankiness that comes from being oh-so-tired at the end of the year, these are just some moments that make life seem so worthwhile!

Do share some of your moments...

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Saturday arvo nap

2011-12-18T10:45:00.001+11:00

I had a lovely relaxing Saturday at home yesterday [Apart from the driving test in the morning]. And so did Pebbles. As you can see below.

Her sleeping poses were too cute for me to pass up a photo op! And yes, she has grown! She turns 5 months tomorrow and she's still as gorgeous as ever!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Fully licensed

2011-12-17T11:01:00.000+11:00

I'm officially a fully-licensed driver after passing my Driver Qualification Test this morning.

For those who don't know, in NSW you progress from your Learner's to a Provisional 1 license (aka Red P) which you hold for at least a year and then after a computerised test progress to Provisional 2 license (aka Green P) which you hold for at least 24 months and only then, after sitting another computerised test, progress to a full license.

So yes, no more plates on my car. No more trying to remember to swap plates when I use a work car. No more worrying about excess penalties just because "I'm a P-plater". No more limiting my speed to just 100 kph in 110 kph zones. And no more zero blood alcohol level [although knowing myself, I probably will still not drink even a glass of wine and drive!] And most importantly, no more driving tests!!!

I was quite nervous during the test [so what else is new?] and half the test was about knowledge and the other half involved driving scenarios where you had to touch the screen if you had to slow down or if it was safe to turn etc. And an amusing thing that occured in one of those driving scenario questions was where the scene was for me to find a safe gap to turn right and I had seen one when this other car came at a higher speed from the opposite direction --- which resulted in me swearing as I would in real life! I doubt anyone heard though! Hehe...how's that for taking the test seriously?

I opted for a 3 year license. And I kinda regret it. Why you ask? Well, as always, the picture! Apparently now you can't wear your glasses for the photo. So here I am getting my picture taken without my glasses, unable to smile showing my teeth and recovering from a whole day of allergies yesterday...which means, puffy eyes! Sigh.

Oh and with this license, I cross out another thing on my 30 by 30 list!

Until next timem

Cheers!!!

Gratitude Photo Challenge: Day 3

2011-12-16T05:00:00.000+11:00

No, I haven't forgotten this challenge! The theme for Day 3 is Happiness.

The above photo was taken by my friend JC on the day I officially became an Australian citizen. And yes, the badge is courtesy her. I wore it all night (after the ceremony). It was a year and a half ago and still fills me with happiness to think about it. The smile on my face was another sign [but I couldn't post that up here!] I also remember it fondly for the wonderful company by dear friends who shared that weeknight with me...

Simple things make me happy... :)

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

The dreaded HSC results

2011-12-14T20:13:00.002+11:00

The Higher School Certificate results (Year 12) are out today for students across NSW. And boy, does it bring back memories!

About 10 years ago, around May-June, I remember receiving my HSC results back in India. Even more anxiety-provoking than that were my School Certificate results (Year 10). I remember being pleasantly surprised with my Year 10 results and upset at my English marks (Yes, I cried!). I also remember being very unhappy with my HSC results and worrying whether I would get Psychology as one of my subject options for my B.A.

I still remember having to give my HSC exams. I threw up the morning of my Economics paper. I was anxious during my Maths and Psychology exams. I also remember the day I had Sociology and Maths on the same day...I don't think I was able to feel my hands after that! [I was never good at giving exams! Anxiety tended to get to me] I would always work hard but somehow, with some papers, the nerves would win and I would blank out. I would forget what I had learnt.

To cut a long story short, I hated exams. I never understood the need to learn things by rote. And I would without fail let anxiety get the better of me [Hell, that even happened in my Third year B.A. exams!]

And now, I see clients going through similar issues.

The thing that no one...particularly teachers...tells you back when you are sitting for your HSC or SSC exams is this --- there is more to life than these exams! And no one, no one asks you for your marks when you go for a job interview! And how you go in these exams doesn't determine how you go at university! Instead, the mantra from teachers and parents appears to be that if you don't do well, your life is finished. And you know what? Sadly, some youngsters take it to heart.

Why can't parents and teachers just tell adolescents that they should work hard and leave it at that? Why the catastrophic threats? And especially in countries like Australia where there are so many options even if you don't get a great HSC result!

But yet, I see time and again, young people constantly worried about their HSC. Thinking if they don't do well it will be the end of the world. And having to explain to these sceptical youngsters that they do have options. That maybe, if they don't get into Sydney Uni, does not mean they won't get into any uni. That their severe anxiety is only going to hinder their final performance. That the HSC is not testing your true abilities but rather your ability to memorise and write quickly.

If only I had been told that.

I probably would not have wasted so many hours of my life throwing up and catastrophising.

If only...

How did you go with exams? Do you have any memorable moments to share?

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

An Epidemic

2011-12-09T10:51:00.000+11:00

Right from the tender age of six

All she ever wanted to be

Was someone famous, someone well known ---

Like a model or on reality TV

Since the ambitions started early
She made it a point
To look after her appearance
And check that nothing was out of joint

She watched every morsel
And cross-checked the calories
And unlike every other kid
Stayed away from chips and lollies

As she blossomed into adolescence
Her body began to change
The breasts and hips freaked her out
For as a model, she’d look strange

She decreased her food intake
And only ate when cajoled by mum
But then she’d throw it all up
Unbeknownst to anyone

Fitness became a passion
And she’d weigh herself each day
After running for several miles
And pumping weights away

She’d do about a hundred crunches
Working out those abs
The end result was skin and bones
And not an ounce of flab

She was proud to be a size zero
Like several idols she adored
The concerns of friends and well-wishers
She suitably ignored

Her day of fame finally arrived
Though not the way she wanted
She made the local news
After at the shops she collapsed

The doctors weren’t sure she’d live
Her heart was very weak
All the starving and exercise
Was killing her, so to speak

Alas! this epidemic is rampant
The need to be famous and thin
Leading men and women world over
To loathe the skin they’re in

How do we stop this disease?
How can we feel content?
Can we ever be happy the way we are
And cherish life instead?

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Unbelieveable Summer in Sydney

2011-12-08T14:09:00.000+11:00

December. It's when summer starts in Australia. The sweltering heat. The blue skies. The occasional thunderstorm to cool things down. The beautiful beaches.

Except. It's nothing like summer at the moment. 8 days into the season and I'm still wearing my jacket and cardigans. I'm still longing for hot food to warm me up. I'm still wearing my winter pyjamas to bed. And I'm still yearning for those blue skies and the beach. I still haven't been able to get that gorgeous tan I start to get around this time of the year.

Because...it is so not summer. It's cold and rainy and wet. The temperature today is 21 degrees. Over the last three days it was ranging from 15 to 19 degrees. And apparently this is going to continue into next week as well.

I am so sick of it. I thought the whole world was taking about global warming --- isn't that supposed to mean the world is getting warmer? [Forgive my ignorance...I haven't paid ~~much~~ any attention to the debate] So how do you explain freezing temperatures in summer? Explain that you climate change experts. I am even more disgruntled because my friends and I had planned on having our pre-Christmas Christmas [yes, we do that] this coming weekend by the beach with a picnic and everything. And now that's ruined. Along with the plan of getting a tan.

So if anyone tells me the world is getting hotter...beware. I will physically hurt you. [I am in that mood thanks to lack of sunshine!]

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

An Isolated World

2011-12-05T19:46:00.000+11:00

Lunch, George Tooker, 1964, Columbus Museum of Art

A crowd of people
Lunching together
Never a word did say
Yet they passed
One another
Every working day

A crowd of people
Walking busy streets
No eye contact made
Listening to music
Talking on phones
Of surroundings, unaware

A crowd of people
On the 7 a.m. train
Reading the news of the day
No sound uttered
No smiles exchanged
Regulars remaining unacknowledged

A world of 7 billion
And growing ever more
Taking up all the space
Yet the paradox
Is despite the crowd
We are all the more isolated

***This has been written for Magpie Tales 94***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Same-sex marriage: Legalise it already!

2011-12-04T19:37:00.000+11:00

Over the last few weeks the issue about same-sex marriage has once again reared its head. Time and again, our pre-historic pollies continue to argue that marriage is a union between a man and a woman.

It's sad to see Julia Gillard, our first woman PM, still against same-sex marriage despite most in her party favouring it...and despite having a politician in a prime position in a same-sex relationship. In a way to try and please everyone, Ms Gillard decided to have a conscience vote on gay marriage. Whatever that might be.

In this day and age, you have to wonder why a developed nation like ours still has a problem legalising same-sex marriage. The argument about spoiling the 'sanctity' of marriage fails big time when you have heterosexual couples marrying for publicity. I'm sure there are homosexual couples whose marriages would last longer than that. And who would be getting married for love rather than publicity. Then there's the stupid and ignorant argument made by people about how legalising same-sex marriage would stretch to having to legalise polygamy, or beastiality or any other such fetish. Again...what a crock of shit! No one tries to explain how legalising gay marriage would result in the others. It's just clutching at whatever straws they can. People also continue to use the argument that legalising gay marriage would equate to legalising paedophilia or incest. To those ignorant people I'd like to say: There is a big difference. Paedophilia involves a non-consenting individual. A same-sex relationship (and therefore marriage) is between two consenting adults. And of course, finally, there's always the argument about how God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. To which I would say: it wasn't God who made any of us. We evolved from apes. Read Darwin.

So following all that, I would like to reiterate --- what's wrong with same-sex marriage? If two consenting adults are in love and want to get married, they should be allowed to. It shouldn't matter whether they are man and woman or man and man or woman and woman. I personally am not the biggest fan of marriage as my readers know. But I do think people should have a choice whether or not they want to get married.

I would like to end with this plea to Julia Gillard --- legalise same-sex marriage. It's a big change you can make. And show people you were worth being elected. After all, the carbon tax fiasco has screwed your popularity. You can change that now.

Edited to add: I read the more updated news where during the conscience vote, it seems that Labor leaders appear to back same-sex marriage. Here's to keeping our fingers crossed that it does get through parliament some time within the next 6 to 12 months.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

The World Beneath

2011-11-30T11:40:00.001+11:00

...by Cate Kennedy.

15 year old Sophie lives with her single mother Sandy in Ayersville, Australia. Her mother is a 45 year old ditzy woman still living like a hippie who believes in karma, thinks being a vegetarian is important, smokes an occasional joint and still bravely sells home-made jewellery at the markets as a job. Then there’s her dad Rich. The one who left when Sophie was barely a year old. And since then, then only form of correspondence has been through letters and the phone. He is a freelance photographer with a ponytail and still living in the past. Both her parents still reminisce about their glory days as young adults when with fervour they participated in the Franklin River Blockade in Tasmania.

Things kick into action when Rich decides to take Sophie to Tasmania for bushwalking and more importantly, for an opportunity to bond with his estranged daughter. Despite Sandy’s reluctance, Sophie has made up her mind. She wants to get to know her dad who seems so much cooler than her mum. As Sophie travels to Tasmania with Rich and explores the beautiful wilderness, she comes to realise that her dad isn’t who she thought he was.

This is a beautifully written book about parenting and family dynamics. It is about the clash of generations and the struggles of a family. It is about individuals trying so hard to live in the glory of the past or the vision of the future that they forget to live in the present. It is about love and redemption. It is about the ups and downs of teenage life but also of parenting. And finally, it is about survival. Not just in the true sense of the word but also of one's spirit.

The characters by Kennedy were extremely well drawn out. Sophie as the sullen 'emo' teenager who had to grow up too soon and take charge is brilliant. Your heart goes out to her. Sandy as the kooky mother is hilariously pathetic. And Rich as an arrogant know-it-all is all too real. The picturesque scenery of Tassie makes you want to visit the place. All in all, it was a fast-paced read that keeps the reader engrossed till the very end and does play with your emotions. I would definitely try to read other novels by the same author given her flowing style and narration.

I give it a 4 out of 5.

***This has been reviewed as part of the Aussie Author Challenge 2011***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Gasping at the New Theatre

2011-11-27T11:24:00.000+11:00

I went for my very first play yesterday. [Yes, it only took 27 years]

I watched 'Gasping' at the New Theatre at Newtown. It has been written by Ben Elton of the Blackadder fame. Lockheart industries is looking to market the next-big-thing to make a profit. An executive at the Lockheart organisation with a go-for-it attitude, Phillip, comes up with a brilliant idea to market --- designer air. He comes up with a 'Suck & Blow' machine which helps people purify the air they breathe in, thereby giving them a higher quality of living. As they market it to the upper classes, the children and young adults and finally, to everyone, the machine becomes a hit and profits rise dramatically for Lockheart industries. However, soon people start to hoard their supplies of air for a rainy day resulting in a drop in the oxygen levels. At this point, corporate greed takes over as new schemes start to charge peoplefor the air and to invade third world countries for their air eventually culminating to a climactic ending while the world struggles to get air.

This is a brilliant satire by Ben Elton looking at corporate greed and the advertising industry and how it makes a mockery of us. For me personally, given my disdain for the advertising industry and the corporate world, this was the perfect play to watch. The idea of selling air is not very far fetched when you see how the corporate world and advertising industry together have managed to make a market out of another natural resouce --- water. After all, what you can get for free from your taps, some people still fall prey to buying a bottle of about $3 worth of water everytime. The manner in which the advertising industry targets you with slogans implying you 'need' something because you are worth it is well portrayed through the play. And of course, how the corporate dogs will stoop to any level and have no morals when it comes to making profits at the cost of the general public.

The performance by the cast of 6 actors was also excellent. The cast included Alan Faulkner as Sir Chifley Lockheart (the CEO), Oliver Wenn as Phillip, Richard Cox as Sandy, Julia Kennedy Scott as Kirsten (the marketing manager), Samantha Roylance as Miss Hodges and the environment minister, and Natalie Rees as the weather girl and a reporter. I have never seen or heard of any of them before but they were all really good in their parts.

All in all, I really enjoyed my very first play. And you can bet I'll be going again. Especially to this venue where the tickets were a mere $28. To those in the Sydney area, do go and watch this if you enjoy satires.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

You know you are tired when...

2011-11-25T22:13:00.000+11:00

...you don't seem to care about food splattered on the kitchen counter. Even after it is a day old.

...you can't read more than a page before going to bed.

...you don't feel guilty for missing the gym.

...your road rage is heightened. To crazy levels.

...you don't give a shit what colleagues you don't like think about you. And you are not your careful self when talking to them.

...you are straight up with unmotivated clients telling them upfront that if they are not keen to do the work, there is no point in coming in.

...leaving dishes in the sink for longer than usual is not a problem.

...the thought of going out on the weekend is not as exciting.

...dinner is a pain in the arse. Both making and eating it. And buttered toast feels like heaven.

...even though you are out of wine, you can't be bothered to make a trip to the bottle shop to buy another one!

...you forget where you were headed in a conversation and stop mid-way.

...you can't be bothered to run around with your little kitten.

...you haven't cleaned the crap from your car in more than a month. And you have discarded on-the-go breakfast containers.

...you don't have the energy to comment on blogs despite reading the posts. And you have difficulty replying to comments on your own.

...you can't pay attention to anything on TV for longer than 5 minutes. Except maybe for the Big Bang Theory.

And of course, you keep counting down to Christmas eve.

4 more weeks of work to go.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Do cats play fetch?

2011-11-23T21:19:00.000+11:00

You know that game you play with dogs? Where you throw them a ball or stick or something and they run and fetch it and bring it back to you? And then you wrestle them to get it all slobbery out off thier mouth?

Well, I always knew dogs played fetch.

But never thought cats did.

Until I met Pebbles. My little kitty with an identity complex.

She plays fetch. I kid you not. She has this toy --- a green lizard --- and can play fetch with it and bring it back and wrestle with you and then go fetch again and continue the cycle till she's tired. The difference is there is no slobber on the lizard.

Pebbles wrestling with the lizard

And still wrestling

I still wonder whether she thinks she is a dog. In many ways, she seems like one. Very affectionate. Loves to follow me around. Greets me at the door when I'm home from work and then follows me around. Follows me around in the morning when I wake up. Did I mention she follows me around like my shadow?

Gotta love her!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Gratitude Photo Challenge: Day 2

2011-11-22T06:00:00.000+11:00

Day 2: Smile

Remember this little fella? You previously saw him in my hands here. This is a shot of him with one of the blokes working at the reptile park. If you look closely, it looks like he is smiling. [The croc, I mean] Of course, it must be a forced one given that his snout(?) is taped shut.

Smile folks! :)

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Sixteen too old in the modelling industry

2011-11-17T20:47:00.001+11:00

...so says a modelling agency in Sydney.

This modelling agency believes 13 is the right age to start the career as in Europe models are of that age. 13. What I find weird is that the executive of this agency started modelling at 13 and then ended up battling an eating disorder around 18. And yet, she is promoting the same. [She still looks like she has an eating disorder, by the way]

You would think that someone who was asked to lose weight and ended up starving themselves to look like a pre-pubescent child would have more insight into this horrible industry than trying to promote other young children and adolescents to enter it instead!

First and foremost, I never seem to understand what is so attractive about young women looking like pre-pubescent boys. No boobs. No butt. No flesh. How in the world do clothes like that sell when most women in fact have boobs and butts and thighs? Secondly, I am stunned that parents would let their 13 to 16 year olds get into an industry that promotes a negative body image. I have no issues with children modelling for children's products but there is something seriously wrong when you have a 13 year old who is overly sexualised and promoting something a skeletal woman should wear.

This girl is 14

It is bad enough that young girls are fed sexualised messages every day thanks to the wondeful media. But it's worse when they see younger and younger girls in that and then have others want to be like them. And it's scary to think that an industry where so many women (and now men) battle an eating disorder, they still promote it in every way they can.

At the end of the day, most women don't look like skeletons. Most women ~~won't~~ can't wear the clothes modelled by these pre-pubescent looking models. And most men don't find women like this attractive.

The modelling and fashion industry has a lot to answer for. In a day and age when Australia and other countries are trying to promote healthy body image in the industry, agencies like these are a slap in the face.

What do you think?

Do you reckon 13 is too young to be a model? [Not for kids' clothing]

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Gratitude Photo Challenge: Day 1

2011-11-16T20:51:00.001+11:00

Day 1 of the photo challenge involves a photo of my favourite food. Most of you probably know I love Indian cuisine. However, I must add that Lebanese cuisine comes a close second.

The above was a scrumptious meal at Al-Aseel restaurant at Greenacre with my friends some weeks ago. They have amazing food and the price is quite reasonable. The first photo is a plate of Kafta while the second one is a meat platter with kafta, chicken and lamb.

And now I am craving it again!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Happy 40th Birthday...

2011-11-14T19:22:00.001+11:00

...to the best man I 'know'.

Yes, Gilly turns 40 today. I was fortunate enough to meet him back in 2008. That's where the above photo was taken. With me next to my hero. [I have cropped myself out for this blog]

Happy Birthday Gilly! You are still my hero and always will be.

Your biggest fan ever,

End of yearitis

2011-11-13T20:58:00.001+11:00

I think it's that time of the year...when you start counting down to time off and losing interest in going to work. Except, the problem is, work doesn't go away.

I have been noticing lately that I am quite tired and honestly counting down to Christmas when I have about 10 days off work. I find myself hoping some clients won't show up. Which I know is bad. At the same time, when I am with some of my clients, I quite enjoy the challenge. But yeah, I think when it comes to the end of the year, mentally and physically, I start to feel a bit spent. It doesn't help that weekdays have had good sunny weather and then weekends are overcast and windy or rainy. Gah!

So anyway, it's only 6 more weeks to Christmas (a.k.a. TIME OFF!!!) That translates to 30 working days.

Is anyone else suffering from end-of-yearitis? What are your symptoms?

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

30 Day Photography Challenge

2011-11-12T09:07:00.001+11:00

I have had a lot to write about lately and yet for some reason, been unable to actually pen it down. And so, I thought, for a change why not do a photography challenge? And I found this one on Postively Present via google search.

I don't intend on doing this challenge every single day. Nor do I intend to do it consecutively (because after all, I might want to rant about stuff and post other things). But I am looking forward to doing it.

If you want to join in, go ahead. Do credit Positively Present though because they did come up with the idea.

Happy Clicking!

Until next time,

Peace on earth

2011-11-08T21:18:00.002+11:00

The grandmother died. Yesterday.

Exactly one year and one day after my mum's bypass surgery.

I won't pretend to be sorry. I'm just relieved.

I understand it might be hard for my dad. After all, no matter what I thought of the woman, at the end of the day, she was still his mother.

But now my parents can finally start living their lives. Finally.

Peace shall now hopefully prevail back in their house. And hopefully, the next time I see them, they won't look as aged as the last few times.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

The Boat

2011-11-06T10:04:00.000+11:00

...by Nam Le.

'The Boat' is a collection of 7 short stories of individuals across the globe. The author is a Vietnamese-born Australian who also spends his time in America. His stories are not just of Vietnamese or Australians but rather of different ethnic groups across different countries. There is the struggling author and his difficult relationship with his Vietnamese father; a hitman in Colombia who is just a teenager and his struggles with having to kill his friend; an aging painter and his relationship with an estranged daughter; the young Aussie teenager at Halfhead Bay; the American woman struggling with her friendship in Iran; and finally, a group of Vietnamese people on The Boat escaping war-torn Vietnam and the trials and tribulations faced by one young girl estranged from her family.

The stories all revolve around characters facing some kind of pressure in their lives and attempting to deal with these whilst trying to attain some form of control. Two stories that stood out for me were 'Cartagena' and 'The Boat'. The former is the one with the teenage hitman in Colombia and the emotions and struggles kept me on edge all the way through. The latter, which is the last story in the book, is about the "boat people" escaping Vietnam and looking for better lives but at the same time, taking extreme measures to get there. In many ways, it was heart-wrenching. Especially in this day when there is a big deal being made about people arriving on Australian shores by boat, it gives us an insight into the difficulties faced to get here.

There were other stories though that didn't grip me as much...they seemed to have great beginnings but faltered somewhere. I think it was more about the characters than the plots themselves.

All in all, a decent read. I give it 3 stars out of 5.

***This has been reviewed as part of the 2011 Aussie Author Challenge***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Why J. K. Rowling couldn't kill Ron Weasley...

2011-11-04T15:46:00.003+11:00

Did anyone else read the news that J. K. Rowling at one stage contemplated killing off Ron Weasley?

Don't believe me? Read this. But you know what? I don't think the series would have survived without Ron. Yes, yes, I know he isn't the central character. But not only is he my favouritest (yes, it's a word. It's my blog. I can make them up) character, he is one of the most loveable ones. Funnily enough, I prefer him, Hermione and Ginny and Fred and George and Sirius and Lupin over Harry. [Shock, horror!] But besides the fact that Rowling would have had one very angry fan, here are some other reasons why she couldn't possibly have killed off Ron...

Who would be the awkward, socially inappropriate person?
Who would Hermione be angry with for going out with Lavender? For that matter, who would Hermione make jealous by going to the Yule Ball with Viktor Krum?
We wouldn't get half the sarcastic humour that is present in the books...
Who would crack jokes with Harry about Trelawney?
We wouldn't have the nervous new goalie...
We wouldn't have had the chant of 'Weasley is our King'...
We wouldn't get classic lines like "If we die for them, I'll kill you Harry" [in Book 7 when Harry decides to help Malfoy...]. C'mon...humour in a very tense moment!
Who would be afraid of spiders?
We wouldn't have the fights between him and Hermione or him and Harry...and let's face it, Harry and Hermione didn't fight all that much.
Who would Fred and George tease?
Or who would Ginny tease in the family?
Who would be the cool red-head?
And finally, who would be Harry's best friend and sidekick?

There is no way she could have killed off Ron. He is a loveable characters with an amazing sense of humour. If anything, Harry dying in the end would have been better than Ron being killed off!

So what do you reckon? Could she have honestly killed off Ron in the middle of the series and had a successful completion?

I for one cannot see how the story would have gone on.

But then, I am biased!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

The Creative Hit

2011-11-01T19:53:00.004+11:00

Image sourced via Magpie tales from here

The telltale signs

Of a frustrated writer

Stained ink on walls

And crumpled papers

He tries to work
From dawn till sunset
But the words fail him
With no creative ideas yet

As the days go by
The self-doubt grows
Thoughts of being useless
Lead to deeper lows

Reaching for the bottle
Might help with the words
But alas, all it does
Is make everything blurred

Inspired by other poets
He tries drugs for that high
While images dance in his head
The words are nowhere nigh

A stronger dose
Is what he needs
To help create that story
And sow its seed

And so the budding author
Shoots up a whole lot more
Waiting for the hit it gives
As the drugs seep into his pores

He will never write that book
Because the drugs didn’t work
Instead they left the author
Dead to the living world

***This has been written for Magpie Tales 89 and One Single Impression Prompt 192***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

The Help

2011-10-30T09:47:00.005+11:00

...by Kathryn Stockett.

Set in the 1960s in the small town of Jackson, Mississippi, 'The Help' is narratted by Aibileen, Minny and Skeeter. Aibileen and Minny are both black maids working for white women. Despite the big difference in their age, they are also the best of friends. Skeeter, whose real name is Eugenia Phelan, is a white girl in her early twenties dreaming of being a writer. While working for a local newspaper answering people's questions about housekeeping and relationships, and missing her own maid who raised her when she was young, Skeeter hits upon an idea about what she can write --- a story from the point of view of maids who work for white families, raising white children for them. To do this, she recruits the help of Aibileen who works for one of her best friends, Elizabeth Leefolt.

In a time when there is a clear legal distinction between blacks and whites, Skeeter, Aibileen and Minny are all taking a big risk by merely interacting with each other on an almost social level. Furthermore, they are likely to be in great trouble for even broaching a sensitive topic. After all, if a coloured man could be beaten till he is blind for using a 'white' toilet, who knows what would happen to the three women for writing about race issues?

The book delves into the risks the three women take to get the story of black maids out there, the risks Aibileen and Minny get into trying to recruit other maids to tell their stories and of course, the risk Skeeter takes going against what her friends Elizabeth and Hilly Holbrook, both high society ladies, and family appear to believe in. And most importantly, it looks into the formation of an unusual friendship between three women crossing the boundaries of their time.

What stories do the maids have to tell?

How do people react upon the release of the book?

What are the repercussions for Aibileen, Minny and Skeeter?

All this and so much more is explored beautifully in this debut novel by Stockett. The race issues in the deep south and the hypocrisy of society are amazingly portrayed. Not only does the book look into the division between blacks and whites, it also looks at the division between the high society white people and the so-called 'white trash'. While there still is a bit of that sense of the white person saving the black, I did think the characters of both Aibileen and Minny were portrayed beautifully with several strengths. The book manages to grip you right from the very beginning with moments of suspense, laughter and sadness.

All in all, I'd highly recommend it and give it a rating of 5 out of 5.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Note: You can read a review by Titaxy here on Bond with Books.

Journey of Life

2011-10-26T16:52:00.001+11:00

Seated in the driver’s seat
On this journey called life
Meandering through the busy streets
Including moments of strife
I glance at the rear-view mirror
Reflecting back on the past
Memories that have thrilled me
And those that have shadows cast
Thinking of my ambitions
From childhood to teenage years
How some have been altered
Thanks to adult anxieties and fears
Fond thoughts of friends I’ve made
And more so, the ones I’ve kept
Times when I laughed out loud with them
And instances when I wept

There have been speed humps on this drive
And minor crashes as well
But facing these blocks in the road
Have made me a stronger individual
I work in a profession that I love
And have had some dreams come true
I am quite content with my mundane routine
Sharing the days with loved ones few
Despite not having all I want
I realise with gratitude that indeed
I have everything I could ask for
Everything that I need

I set the gear to drive
And press on full steam ahead
On this journey of my life
Waiting to explore every last second

***This has been written for Magpie Tales 88***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Curtsying the queen

2011-10-23T10:16:00.001+11:00

I am not a fan of the royal family. I honestly think we should become a republic. I don't understand people's fascination with the royals in this day and age. And therefore, in the same vein, I couldn't understand all the hoopla around the queen's visit to Australia earlier in the week.

But it didn't end there. The media and other monarchists had a field day when Julia Gillard chose to not curtsy the queen but rather just bow and shake her hand. What's the big deal? There are people calling Ms Gillard disrespectful and arrogant and ruining the name of the country. There are people saying even children were better as they curtsied the queen. There are people vilifying Ms Gillard for her choice to not curtsy.

I don't understand it. And here Julia Gillard has been trying to defend herself.

I don't think she needs to defend her actions.

What makes the queen so special? Just because her ancestors were royals back in the day when they did have kings and queens? Shouldn't a handshake suffice? That's polite when you meet people in general.

I wouldn't like to be a Brit where my hard-earned taxes were going to the bloody royals. And I think it's about time we got rid of them. We do not need a king or queen in this day and age.

And we certainly do not need people vilifying the Prime Minister for not curtsying someone. So good on you Julia Gillard! I wouldn't curtsy either.

Would you curtsy the queen? Or anyone from the royals?

What's your view on the monarchs?

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Heartless...are we this way?

2011-10-21T20:52:00.001+11:00

I am sure many of you have heard or read about the story of the Chinese toddler earlier this week. Two year old Yue yue was hit by a van and the driver apparently did not stop. But then, as she lay there injured in the middle of the road, there were passers by who walked around her and another vehicle driving over her. No one helped. Until a street cleaner finally was the one to pay attention and get help. As of today, Yue yue is dead.

Following this incident which seemed to be a global issue, there have been people questioning China's morality.

But I believe this could happen in several countries with a similar response.

For one thing, research in the 60s talked about bystander effect. The more people there are witnessing an incident, the less the chances of someone actually intervening. I will admit that others may argue people witnessing this incident were not in a group. But it's possible the same mentality exists --- someone else will come along and do something. Why should I?

But more importantly, I think society in general across the globe is desensitised. We see people dying every day on TV. It doens't affect us any more because we all are probably just grateful it's not us. Things happen in other countries. They don't happen to us. So what is another injured adult or toddler? Just like someone we watch in the movies or on TV. Someone else who is injured.

Don't think I am in any way condoning any of the above. But yes, I do believe mankind has become pretty heartless. And yes, I am cynical enough to think the good samaritans are few and far between.

In a situation like this one, by intervening the little toddler could have lived. All a person would have to do is call an ambulance. Understandably, there are situations which people witness and would not want to intervene (such as a watching someone getting bashed). But again, in most cases, calling emergency services would probably suffice.

Is it ironic that in a day and age where it is so much easier to contact emergency services with almost every individual having a mobile phone, fewer people probably do it?

So in short, it's not just the Chinese who need to take a hard look at themselves. The people on their high horses also need to take a good look at themselves and their own backyards.

Because trust me, heartlessness is more widespread than we would like to believe.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

The Tattooed Man

2011-10-18T21:17:00.001+11:00

...by Alex Palmer.

Commander Paul Harrigan is called to a gruesome murder scene in the northern suburbs of Sydney. Four people are dead. One is a Senator's ex-wife. Another, his teenage son. The third is someone unknown. And finally, one is a corrupt detective from the police force, Mike Cassat who has been missing. In a mummified state. They have all been shot in the head.

As Harrigan searches for the killers, he becomes embroiled in a mess around corruption, politics, terrorism, fraud, biotechnology and espionage. With the help of his girlfriend Grace Riordan, who works for a specialist anti-terrorism organisation and can't talk much about her work, and his own team, Harrigan tries to crack the mystery. It takes him to different suburbs in Sydney to rural New South Wales to connections in Africa.

What is Cassat's connection with the other victims?

Who is or are the killers?

Why is Harrigan's own son, suffering from cerebral palsy kidnapped?

And will there be any justice?

The book was not great by any standard for mystery and thrillers. It felt like there were several issues trying to be tackled at the same time to the point where it became too far-fetched. So much so, I actually took a break from it and read a whole other book in between. In my opinion, a thriller should be a page-turner...one where you can't wait to find out whodunit. I didn't get that feel with this book at all. After all, I was able to take a break! The ending was a bit weird and anti-climactic too...which is saying something when the book wasn't all that thrilling. And while the characters of Harrigan and Riordan were pretty good, no one else really seemed realistic. All in all, a disappointment for me.

I give it a rating of 1 out of 5.

***This has been written as part of Aussie Author Challenge 2011***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Telemarketing Troubles

2011-10-16T17:23:00.003+11:00

I hate telemarketers. With a passion.

I hate that they try to sell you stuff you don't want.

I hate that they call at weird hours. Like 7 p.m. at night when you are having dinner. Or 1 p.m. on a Saturday when you are relaxing. Or at any bloody time during the day.

I hate that they don't actually listen to you when you say you are not interested.

And I especially hate it when they call me 'Mrs' Lastname.

Yesterday, I had a telemarketer who went to an extreme that almost made me want to swear at her on the phone. And while I am usually firm and assertive, I have never been this rude to someone.

It was 1 p.m. Saturday arvo. The phone rings. I ~~like an idiot~~ answer it instead of just letting it go to the answering machine. The following is a gist of the conversation once I answered.

Telemarketer lady (with an Indian accent and pronouncing my last name perfectly): Good morning Mrs Lastname!

Me: Look, I'm not interested in whatever you have to offer me. [Because, anyone who knows me, doesn't say Mrs...it's obviously a telemarketer]

Telemarketer: But madam, you don't even know what I have to offer.

Me: I'm tired of you people calling to try and sell me stuff. I'm just not interested.

Telemarketer: What do you mean madam? You don't even know what I am calling you about.

Me: I don't care what you are calling about because I'm not interested. And I'm really tired of having telemarketers from India calling me at all odd hours trying to sell me things.

Telemarketer: What do you mean by that?

Me: Well, all the telemarketers call from call centres in India trying to sell me stuff on Telstra and Vodafone and I have had enough of it!

Telemarketer: And where are you from Mrs Lastname?

Me: I'm from Australia... (Remember, I have an Australian accent)

Telemarketer: C'mon madam...

Me: I'm Australian

Telemarketer: Don't lie Mrs Lastname.

Me (seeing red by now and on the verge of using abusive language): I am an Australian citizen and just because I am of Indian ethnicity doesn't make me un-Australian. For your information, Australia is a multicultural country...

Telemarketer hangs up.

I don't think I've ever been this angry after a call from a telemarketer. True, I have been frustrated with their tactics but never on the point of abusing someone. Part of me wishes I had abused her prior to her hanging up. Did she really think she could make a sale by calling me a liar? And do they keep calling me because of my last name thinking they can make a sale by working the Indian angle?

I hate telemarketers.

And after ranting to my friends, I found out about the Do Not Call register and have put myself on it.

Woe betide any telemarketer who calls me until that is activated. I am going to take out my frustration from Saturday-lady for sure.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

A Fortunate Life

2011-10-13T19:12:00.000+11:00

...by A. B. Facey.

Albert Barnett Facey was born in 1894 in a small town in Victoria. When aged 2, his father died as a result of typhoid and two years later, his mother left Albert and his younger siblings in the care of their grandmother to be with her older children in Western Australia. When Albert was 5 and his Grandma was finding it difficult to make ends meet, she took Albert and his three older siblings Eric, Myra and Roy to Kalgoorlie in Western Australia. Once there, they lived with their aunt and uncle as their mother had remarried and only took Myra with her.

Albert began working from the age of 8 and this involved him living with different families on their properties in rural W.A. He hardly ever lived with his family since then. During his time working, Albert was physically abused by one of the families to the point where he nearly died. The physical scars of this remained for the rest of his life and although Albert eventually escaped and reported this to the police, the abuser never came to justice. He spent a few years with decent families and earned his keep. As he grew older, his mother made contact but it appeared to be more for money. Albert had several jobs on farms, railways, ships and factories. He was also a professional boxer and a star shooter. Eventually, he went to fight in World War I at Gallipoli. Here, he lost two of his brothers Roy and Joseph and he himself was injured by a bomb exploding near him and was sent home to Australia severely ill.

Back in Australia, he met Evelyn Gibson and married her. They had 7 children and were married for 60 years until Evelyn died. During this time, Albert battled his illnesses, had jobs with the Tramway, learnt to read and write (as he had never had any formal schooling during his childhood), set up his own farm and also ran for MP and was part of unions. He also campaigned for improved conditions for returned servicemen. During World War II, Albert and Evelyn lost their oldest son.

I read the book as part of my book club but I must admit, the title always left me intrigued to want to read it when I saw it at the bookshop. This is one of the first autobiographies I’ve read that is not about someone I know and not a cricketer. And I must say, it was an interesting read.

It has been written in very simple language and has to be commended given that the author learnt to read and write only as an adult. While I did think initially, there were pages that dragged on and information that was not necessarily required, it still kept me going. I was fascinated by this man who led a bloody hard life and yet, was able to see how fortunate he was. Today, we have so much more than what he did and yet, all we do is whinge about what we don’t have. If anything, this book and his life give you insight into how to live. It is the relationships that matter. And despite having hard times, these do not necessarily determine your life. Facey could have complained about a zillion things. And yet, in the end, he talks about how fortunate he was. And that, is commendable.

I give this book a rating of 3 out of 5.

***This has been part of the Aussie Author Challenge 2011***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

World Mental Health Day 2011

2011-10-10T15:08:00.000+11:00

October is Mental Health Awareness Month.

And today, 10.10.11 is World Mental Health Day and the theme for this year is about investing in mental health. A day to acknowledge mental health and related issues was created by the World Federation for Mental Health back in 1992. Yet, there are probably several countries in the world where there is still hardly any importance given to the matter.

On this World Mental Health Day, my hope is that countries invest in creating awareness about mental health issues.

Mental illness still has a stigma attached to it. While there are some countries more accepting than others, mental health is still put on the backburner for most. There continues to exist a negative connotation about the word ‘mental’ and people seem to think it suggests something is very wrong with them or something negative about them. Rather, mental purely means about the mind. Having mental health problems doesn’t mean one is crazy. Rather, it just means one’s mind is not coping well. People are quick to see a doctor when they have physical health problems. But when it comes to mental wellbeing, they take their time thinking it will go away. While it sometimes might, more often than not, people will need help. And there is nothing wrong with that.

Apart from that, it would be great to have more early intervention services targeting children, adolescents and families but at the same time, not forgetting adults in need. After all, adults with mental health problems do have children themselves resulting in difficulties parenting and mental health problems for the kids as well.

Finally, on this World Mental Health Day, I would like to encourage all of you out there to acknowledge if you have mental health problems. They may not necessarily be psychoses but can also be depression or anxiety or post-traumatic stress disorders. And sometimes, you may need a helping hand to cope. There is nothing to be ashamed about needing a little extra help. This may be from a friend or family member but it may also be from a professional. And if you are mentally well but have a friend or family member with problems, do talk to them and recommend they get assistance.

Let’s be more aware and spread the message about mental health.

It is not something to be ashamed of. It is something to get help for.

So do your bit. Become aware.

For your own sake.

For your own wellbeing.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

4 years on...

2011-10-09T11:28:00.002+11:00

Over Cups of Coffee turns 4!

It's been four years since I started blogging here. In these 4 years, Over Cups of Coffee has acquired its own domain name, has 500+ posts, 289 followers, 7500+ comments, a page rank of 3, and most importantly, regular readers!

In these years, I have learnt that...

...there are people out there who actually ~~listen~~ read my opinions and what I have to say.

...even though you have 200+ followers, there are only some regulars who read it all.

...I long for the comments and thoughts of some individuals on my controversial posts or my rants.

....there are people with similar opinions as me.

...age is no bar in the blogging world. I have readers younger than me who don't seem so. And readers older than me and who I can still relate to.

...anonymity still suits me just fine.

...I am likely to stick with Blogger. Even if they still haven't got the threaded comments option!

...I post more for myself than to cater to the masses. And it means my posts can be even more passionate. Which then somehow does appeal to my readers.

...readers do make my day.

...I am addicted to blogging just as I was some years ago. Even if I don't post as much.

...when I get persoal emails from readers, I am even more excited!

To all my readers out there --- regulars, buddies, lurkers --- thanks for continuing to stick with me. I truly appreciate it.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Political Correctness Madness

2011-10-06T21:33:00.001+11:00

In this day and age, why would anyone want to become a teacher???

After all, teachers have no rights whatsoever over the students. Students rule the roost. Students don't respect teachers. Teachers have to cop verbal abuse from students. They are not allowed to comfort a child who is hurt. They are not allowed to intervene when kids are bashing each other up in the school ground and instead of stopping the bully, have to pull the victim away. And now, teachers also have 'read' legal rights to the students before speaking to them.

If you read the story I have linked above, the gist is, a 14 year old boy got acquitted in court for stabbing a servo attendant because he confessed to his teacher who made a statement to the police and according to the court, the teacher should have informed the boy about legal consequences prior to the boy confessing. In other words, I suppose the court wanted the teacher to say "Anything you say or do can be use against you in a court of law".

Is the judge for real???

It's a fucking joke. That's not remotely funny.

As a psychologist, we are mandated to inform clients at the very beginning that anything they tell us will be confidential unless there is a risk of harm to them or others. But teachers do not have anything like that. They are not psychologists. They do not have confidentiality clauses. So why does a teacher have to explain such a thing to a student? It's not in their role.

And what next? If someone in the community gets told by another individual about a crime, are they supposed to read them their legal rights as well? I thought that was only something the cops had to do.

This court case has set a precedent. One where teachers are probably not going to report crimes of students. Or one where no one wants to report a crime they have heard. Or one where the child or adolescent knows they can get away. Yet again.

On the plus side, there has been an appeal made to the DPP to review this. And the state government thinks it is an appalling decision as well.

I work with kids and adolescents. But I think we have gone too far the other way in terms of their rights. To the point where the adults involved i.e. parents, teachers, police have fewer rights than the kids. And trouble is, the kids know that.

Things don't have to be black and white. The answer to curbing child abuse is not complete permissiveness and lack of discipline or power. There has got to be a middle ground. Right now, we have helpless parents, helpless teachers, helpless police and yes, sometimes, helpless therapists.

It's a bloody nightmare!

I think things are getting worse instead of better. And personally, I wouldn't want to be a teacher today. Or a cop for that matter. Or even sometimes, a parent.

Politicians --- are you listening? Do something about it!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

The Whistleblower

2011-10-03T14:59:00.000+11:00

I watched The Whistleblower last night. It is inspired by a true story of a police woman, Kathryn Bolkovac from Nebraska who was sent to Bosnia following the ethnic wars as part of international peacekeeping missions via the UN. In the process of her work, she uncovers a scandal of human trafficking. Young girls from Russia and other countries being sold to pimps for sex and sodomy. And the worst part is, the so-called peacekeepers from the US and other countries are involved not just in prostitution but in the trafficking of these girls. The more she uncovers, the more her life is in danger. And the more she puts her job at stake.

This was an incredible movie. And very disturbing given that it was inspired by true events. Rachel Weisz was brilliant and totally believeable. Apparently, these peacekeepers were hired by contract agencies through the UN. And apparently, similar agencies continue to send peacekeepers to Iraq and Afghanistan in the last few years. Which begs the question --- is this continuing to happen? Kathryn Bolkovac put her life at risk to help these young girls. But diplomatic immunity helps prevent the international perpetrators from being prosecuted. And it's scary to think how many people were involved in this.

Human trafficking is an illegal and organised crime. It is second only in the world to illegal drug trafficking. Yet, how many people know about it compared to drugs? And corruption still appears to be rife world over. It's scary when you think about what power can do to people. It almost makes one lose faith in humanity. And definitely makes you more cynical!

The movie stayed with me long after. I am still getting intrusive images. And I couldn't stop crying. I don't think it was just me though...I noticed another woman in tears outside the movie hall. It is a difficult one to watch. But one I would recommend. If only to have an understanding of what goes on out there in the real world. Away from our little safe bubbles.

Hats off to individuals like Kathryn Bolkovac. Who stand up for morality and humanity. Against all the odds.

We need more people like her.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

She's gone...

2011-10-02T09:33:00.000+11:00

The flatmate is gone.

She decided two weeks ago she was going to leave and move into a place of her own. She has been here for a year and 2 months so it's understandable. On the one hand, it's a bit of a downer as it does mean a loss of money.

But there's a huge part of me that's glad though. More space in the house (until I get another flatmate). Cleanliness according to my standards, especially in the kitchen (What is it with people not keeping the kitchen clean??). Not worrying about someone else being home when I get home (Apart from Pebbles). No trashy reality TV on in the lounge room (Yes, she was a reality TV fan). No more worrying about neighbours thinking I'm nuts due to Opera singing coming from the unit. And no more do-it-yourself attempts resulting in possible breakages (A few things including the bedroom doorknob was broken in this process). And no more homophobic comments!

I'm going to enjoy my space for a while at least. Until I have to deal with another flatmate.

And in the mean time, I get to clean the house this long weekend!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Faces in the Clouds

2011-09-28T09:57:00.001+10:00

...by Matt Nable.

Meet Stephen and Lawrence Kennedy. Twins. Born and brought up in the army barracks with their dad Sargent Terry Kennedy and god-fearing mother, Leila Kennedy. Although they are twins, they couldn’t be more different. Lawrence is intellectually disabled while Stephen is not. Stephen tries to battle with his thoughts about resenting some of Lawrence’s behaviour while at the same time loving his brother very much. On the whole though, these two boys enjoy their lives in the barracks with their friends, particularly Katie Monahan and Johnny Birch.

However, their worlds are turned upside down when their parents die in a car crash and both Stephen and Lawrence are sent to live with people they barely know --- Helen and Nathan Williams. The journey for the twins continues as they each deal with their grief and other tragedies, sibling rivalry and how they move through adolescence and finally into adulthood.

I really enjoyed this book and the pace at which it covered more than a decade in the lives of Stephen and Lawrence. The unimaginable tragedy of losing one’s parents as a child and having to live with complete strangers was heart-wrenching. And then, to still have burdens placed on them is just another layer to this. But despite the tragedies and the past, the book looks at how they deal with it in their own way and manage to live in the present and dream for the future. It looks at life, love, friendships and relationships and how one deals with adversity. More so, it shows that despite the challenges life throws at you, it makes you a stronger person. The characters of Stephen and Lawrence are both very realistic and likeable. Nable hasn’t exaggerated the intellectual disability and the frustrations that Stephen goes through are very understandable.

To sum it up, life can suck. But it’s a ride nevertheless. And as long as you pick yourself up, you can move on.

It is a bitter-sweet book to the very end and definitely keeps you hooked.

I give it 4 stars out of 5.

***This has been written as part of the Aussie Author Challenge 2011***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Listen to the victim...

2011-09-26T13:21:00.001+10:00

She was the new girl

At the prestigious high school

Didn’t fit in from day one

You see, she just was uncool

Wearing her skirt long
Rather than way up the knees
Her hair just one shade of blonde
Instead of colours three

She had a regular mobile phone
One without a cam or touch screen
And had no internet on it
Using it for actually speaking

To the other girls
She was nothing but a dag
And her love for reading
To them was a drag

Being unpopular in her grade
Didn’t seem a bother
She carried on with her studies
Barely hearing smirks and laughter

The popular girls then decided
Her nonchalance must end
The only way to amuse themselves
Was to give this new girl hell

They hid her books for English
And stole her homework sheet
When she went for sport
They ripped her skirt and tee

They tripped her on the stairs
And bumped hard into her
Started sending threatening texts
And rejoiced at her tears

They posted lies of her online
Photo-shopped her nude
Gave out her mobile number
Asking for calls from dudes

She started failing her tests
And missing a lot of school
Still the popular girls didn’t relent
Instead, posting her address online too

She finally decided to cave in
And went to her parents two
They took the matter to the cops
Who said there was nothing they could do

The school said its hands were tied
As the problems were online
There was nothing they could say to the girls
Who continued to make miserable her life

Finally the new girl could take no more
The calls at her home and more lewd photos
The requests for sex from random guys
The harassment had gone overboard

She felt calm upon making the decision
Despite knowing her parents’ despair
It was the only way to end this mess
And even get out of her parents’ hair

Next morning her mum went to wake her
To find her only daughter dead
Hanging with her favourite scarf
Beside a final note left unread

The popular girls later heard the news
As around went the whirlwind story
Of how a new girl took a life
Being a victim of bullying

You’d think they’d be sorry
For their role in her death
But alas! they were already on
To a new girl; a new target

For the popular girls, their lives were defined
By how many others they could abuse
This way they felt empowered
And continued to keep themselves amused

***This has been written for One Single Impression Prompt 187***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Kitty Moments...

2011-09-21T21:07:00.001+10:00

Who would have thought that I --- a person who pretty much loathed cats until 5 years ago --- would be writing a gushing post about cats!

But people change. And the last few days with Pebbles have been so much fun! Here are just a few reasons why...

...she runs around like a manic kitty shooting from one room to the next exploring.

...and then sleeps a couple of hours later after tiring herself out.

...she attacks any moving piece of string as if it were prey.

...she loves sleeping in bed with me.

...she loves sleeping on or next to me.

...she had some separation anxiety for a few days. She'd meow if no one was in the room with her. And she'd make sure she slept close to someone so if we got up she'd wake up immediately and follow us.

...she comes up to me for a kiss in the morning and when I'm back from work. I kid you not.

...she learnt how to jump on the couch and the bed in a matter of two days.

...she loves playing with fingers and feet...and if you're not careful, can start attacking them.

...she hides and when you say "Where's Pebbles?" she jumps out.

...she loves anything that's hanging and moving. And unfortunately, that involves a lot of electrical cords around the house.

...she doesn't like me paying attention to books or the computer if she's awake and she'll sit on the keyboard or the book.

...she is oh-so-cute when asleep. The manner in which she tosses and turns and stretches. Makes you want to watch her the whole time.

I'm so glad I got her. I must admit I have had a lot of anxiety and guilt leaving her at home and going to work. Guess this is what it feels like when parents go back to work. I'll leave you all with a photo of Pebbles. [again!]

By the way, I promise that all my posts henceforth are not going to be just gushy posts about Pebbles.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Cop-o-phobia

2011-09-19T16:45:00.000+10:00

I noticed something really strange with me and thought I'd share it to see if others go through something similar.

Whenever I see a police car, my anxiety increases two-fold and my heart starts beating very quickly. As if I'm doing something wrong. Fact is, I am not. But it doesn't matter. I still feel anxious until they go away. Since I started driving, I have been pulled over for random-breath tests about 5 times. And every single time I have been bloody nervous.

Even though I know I have not had any alcohol!

Being a P-plater, I am supposed to have zero blood alcohol. So I never drink and drive. But even so, I worry when pulled over. As if scared that the breathalyser will pick up some alcohol I might have had a day or two ago. Or sometimes, a week ago. Last week, on Monday after work, I was pulled over for this. And the last drink I'd had was on the Friday night. Yet, there was the anxiety. Increased heart rate and all.

Only relaxing once I was given the green light to go.

This morning, there was a police car on the opposite side of the road while I was waiting at a set of traffic lights. They were trying to help out a situation where a semi-trailer had broken down. And just seeing the cops standing next to my car whilst talking to the roads authority was enough to increase my anxiety.

And I find myself wondering --- why is that?

It's not like I've ever committed a crime. [Ok, so I did steal gum when I was 7 but I confessed and got duly punished!!] So why should I feel anxious?

Is it just a cop thing?

Or is it just me being weird?

Does this ever happen to you? Do share. And tell me it does!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Say hello to Pebbles...

2011-09-17T16:21:00.001+10:00

...the newest member of my household.

Pebbles looking up at yours truly

Pebbles playing with my feet --- she seems to love them

Pebbles looking for a spot to sleep

Tired after 2 hours of running around

Definitely my cat --- already interested in my laptop

...and my book

Pebbles is 2 months old and only arrived home this arvo. I bought her last week. I've had her for about 3 hours and she's so gorgeous and playful! She was constantly jumping around and exploring the unit this arvo. Until of course, she tired herself out. Right this instant, she is fast asleep...

Pebbles asleep on my lap with the laptop as her pillow

So anyway, I'm excited. And wanted to share it with you all.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

R U OK? Day

2011-09-13T21:44:00.001+10:00

15th September is R U OK? Day.

What is R U OK? Day?

It is a day for all Australians (and personally, people world over) to connect with others and check how they are going. In other words, it is to try and help with small problems and thereby prevent something bigger. Like suicide.

R U OK? Day is a suicide prevention day.

It was founded by Gavin Larkin whose own father lost his battle with depression. A secret he kept hidden from family and friends and isolated himself to the point where he eventually took his life. Gavin Larkin though this project hopes that other people ask people they care about one important question: "Are you okay?"

It is a paradox that in this day and age where we can virtually connect with people from all corners of the world, we still fail to connect with friends and family and neighbours on a personal and real level. And sometimes, this isolation can play a big part in someone developing a mental health problem like depression.

On this day (and on others), I would like to take on the message from the founder and encourage you all to ask at least one person in your lives if they are okay. And don't just leave it at that. Listen to them actively. Ask open-ended questions. Try not to provide platitudes (e.g. "I know everything will be okay") or be judgemental. Most importantly, if a person discloses they are suicidal, do not ignore them or worse, pooh-pooh them or threaten them. Instead, once again, listen. And refer them to an appropriate service. You do not need to take responsibility for them but you can recommend they see someone. If however they have no plans, do remember to check up on them a day or two later. The R U OK? Day website gives some great communication tips as well.

Suicide is still considered a taboo subject and not openly talked about.

But it's time we did. There is nothing scary in talking about suicide. Only if we talk about it can we become more aware in the signs and thereby help prevent it. For someone that talks about suicide and self-harm with every second client, it has become second nature and not shocking to talk about it. But sadly, the greater public still are afraid to broach the subject.

It is but a myth that if you ask someone if they are suicidal, then you are putting ideas into their heads. You have to ask direct questions. Only then do you get a direct answer.

I think Gavin Larkin has done a brilliant job of trying to promote suicide prevention awareness. On a side note, he is not okay today. I watched him on Australian Story on Monday night where I became aware that he was diagnosed with bone cancer early last year and only months later found out that his son had a brain tumour. Amidst all this, he still campaigned hard for his cause. Currently, he is in palliative care with possibly only weeks to live. It is the sad irony of his life. And yet, it makes you realise what an admirable job he has done. I tip my hat off to him.

I hope that long after he is gone, his legacy continues through the R U OK? Day project.

So go on.

Do something.

Connect with a friend.

Ask them the important question.

Just as I ask you, my dear readers and friends: "Are you okay?"

[You can email me if you want to 'talk'. On the other hand, if you are suicidal, I would recommend contacting your doctor or therapist. If you are in Australia, call Lifeline on 13 11 14]

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Decisions, Decisions...

2011-09-11T12:50:00.000+10:00

How do you know if you are making the right decision before making it?

This was asked by a friend of mine when I was back in India in June this year.

My answer to her was "you never know".And that's the truth, isn't it? After all, unless and until you see the outcomes of a decision that has been made, you will never know whether it was good or bad. And to be honest, even then, who is to say?

For example, I am currently struggling with a number of things. I think I want to start some private practice work one day a week. I have checked out a room and am yet to make a decision whether to go ahead or not. The reason being I don't know how it will pan out. Will I go months without any referrals and yet have to pay for the rent of the room? What if the area I am looking at is not ideal for private child and adolescent work? Would it be better to try in an area that is more upper class? Simulatenously, I am also wondering whether to study a doctorate in clinical psychology instead. [No, not a PhD but a DPsych]. But even that comes with a lot of 'what ifs'. I do not want to reduce my working days. Actually, make that I cannot afford to do that. And given that there is only one university in the whole of Australia that offers this degree via distance education, makes the decision even harder.

So with these decisions, I will never know whether they are right or wrong until I decide to actually make one. The private practice decision could go any way. I could end up losing money. Or I could end up making money. Further study could be good for the future. Or they may just change the current two-tier pay system and it may not have an impact.

With some decisions in my life, I have usually made pros and cons lists to help make a decision. Even then, one still takes a risk. Unless and until we know exactly what the future holds, there is always a risk in any decision we take.

In hindsight, we realise whether we made a good decision or not. But even with that, sometimes a supposed bad decision can teach us a lot. Or a bad decision can lead us somewhere else. Through making a 'bad' decision, we could meet people who might help us later. We could even grow ourselves and obtain qualities that will be useful in later life.

For instance, there was a friend I had back in India who can best be described as a fair-weather friend. She hung out with me in college until she got popular and then only called me everytime she wanted to brag and feel better about herself or if she wanted to complain about someone else. She would cancel plans on me if something better came up. Yes, I should have ended the relationship long before as I could see she was taking advantage of me. But I didn't. The friendship ended only after I moved here to Australia. But what that taught me was to be assertive. And when I noticed a close friend J here cancelling on me a fair few times, rather than stew about it, I spoke to her about it. Turns out, she hadn't realised it and apologised and we are strong as ever. Plus, she hasn't cancelled on me since I spoke to her.

So yes, while it is hard to make decisions as they involve a certain amount of risk every single time, we can't avoid that. We could probably stagnate in our lives, never ever taking a risk, but that too is a decision.

It is scary. There is no doubt about that. And only time will tell whether it was worthwhile or not.

Until then, we all have to live.

And as for now, I still have to try and make my decision regarding what I mentioned earlier.

Should I or shouldn't I? That is the question.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

How transparent are you...

2011-09-07T21:44:00.000+10:00

...when it comes to your facial expressions and your true feelings?

I am an open book. And you know what?

I don't particularly like it.

For instance, if I dislike someone, I find it hard to be fake and sweet towards them. Don't get me wrong. I am civil enough. But you can tell if I don't like you. The smile on my face won't reach my eyes. There will be a certain amount of distance possibly through my nonverbal communication.

While people who know me well can even tell when I am worried or sad or angry and even when something is wrong, those who don't know me well enough will still have an idea. There are a couple of people at work I don't particularly like. One is a narcissist and raves on an on about how great they are. Now I can't stand narcissists. And I think it came across that I had a problem listening to this person rave on. Now they don't try and brag about themselves to me but are civil enough as I am with them. So obviously, the dislike for narcissism has come through!

Recently I have been pissed off with someone else who in my opinion was very manipulative. And I am finding it verrrrrrry hard to even pretend or to smile at them [which I do with the narcissist]

It's times like these I really wish I was good at pretending. Or at least wish that my true feelings weren't totally written on my face for the whole world to see!

It's also the reason why if I have problems with my friends, I'm better off being open and assertive about it rather than keep it hidden because they always figure something is wrong. By my expressions and my behaviours. On the other hand, the good thing is that things can get sorted out with people I am close to before I go the deep end of catastrophising. Plus it's good with clients who can see me as being genuine.

I wonder though...what is it that makes some people so open and yet others are so good at hiding their true feelings and emotions...to the point where they may even stab you in the back! Is it something inherited? Like part of one's temperament or personality. Or is it something that can be learnt? Or just something else altogether?

In the mean time though, I have to deal with a person I do not like but am not assertive enough to say so! Gah!

So...how transparent are you?

Do share...

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Busy Buzzing Bee

2011-09-06T06:38:00.000+10:00

It's almost a year since I started to work at my current job. And the last two months or so since I got back from holidays have been crazy busy!

But you know what?

I'm loving it! Every. Single. Moment.

Currently, I am going through a spate of clients who actually are motivated and continue to attend weekly or fortnightly appointments as required. Given that we are a free service, it is not uncommon to have cancellations or people just failing to show up. But that has been minimal lately.

Most importantly, I have a load of interesting cases of young people with anxiety disorders (I feel a sense of affinity towards these ones...), depressive disorders, trauma, self-harm, chronic pain and the odd behaviour problems. And what that means is that I am learning heaps!

I am also lucky that most people at work are lovely. Makes it an added bonus. If there was a drawback it probably is the travel time. 40 minutes drive each way on a good day. And if there is traffic, I can expect to be in my car for about 50 minutes to an hour or more. There's Sydney traffic for you...even when you work in the suburbs!

There is still the odd family or young person I get frustrated with. And of course, it can be quite difficult finding time to see clients and follow up on phone calls and do school visits and the like. But hey...I am human.

I feel like I've been at this job forever. And yet, there are days I am surprised it'll be a year next week. Does that even make sense?

So how has work been for you?

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

The Living End at the Enmore Theatre

2011-09-04T13:04:00.000+10:00

3rd September 2011.

I watched The Living End in concert at the Enmore theatre with a R and C.

Got there around 7:45 p.m. and watched the support acts. King Cannons were the first support act and weren't too bad. But the second support act was torture!! They were a band called Hunting Grounds and looked like a bunch of teenagers who just had music really loud but no substance. I sat through that with my fingers in my ears and I wasn't the only one. A few people walked out (including R) and returned only after they were done to watch The Living End. I also realised I am getting old. How? All I wanted to do was give those youngsters a pair of scissors to cut their hair! It really irked me!

Around 9:30, The Living End hit the stage and they rocked the house for 90 minutes! They played about 7 songs from their new album and several of the old favourites. All I can say is that they are brilliant musicians! Chris Cheney is amazing with the guitar and Scott Owen is exceptional on the double bass. Hell, I've never even seen anyone play double bass, let alone at a rock concert. I cannot stress just how brilliant their musicianship is. The guitar is wicked as are the drums...and of course, I absolutely love their lyrics! The only gripe I had was that they didn't play 'Moment in the sun' which is one of my favourite songs. Not being able to hear after the concert was a testament to how good they were!

I am going to leave you with some pictures:

I had videos too but unable to embed them.

All in all, a rockin' weekend!

So how's your weekend been?

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

National Child Protection Week

2011-09-03T16:37:00.000+10:00

Here in Australia, National Child Protection Week is from the 4th to the 11th of September. Child protection is all about keeping children safe. Safe from emotional, physical and sexual abuse and neglect.

As a mandatory reporter who works with children and adolescents, I am legally bound to report any signs of the above to Community Services. However, what happens if I see things outside of work? For kids and teens not being seen by me for therapy. Like say, I see signs of physical abuse on the kid next door. Or hear domestic violence in my neighbour's house and know there is a child to witness it all.

I am not mandated to report.

But I still can.

I think if anything, this National Child Protection Week, that would be the message to pass on to people. To intervene if you see or know a child is being abused. And not just sit quietly on the sidelines. You do not have to be a mandatory reporter to make a report to Community Services if you suspect a child being abused.

People worry about making reports because they automatically think the child will be taken away from their parents but the truth is, that is generally the last resort. Community services will see if there are other reports against the parent and check out the facts first.

I can imagine several people thinking "Why should I interfere in someone else's family life?" Here's why.

Ongoing domestic violence can have an adverse impact on the development of the child's brain. Prolonged exposure to stress results in elevated cortisol levels in the brain and this affects the manner in which the brain responds to stress. The child may end up being more anxious, hypervigilant, have poor attachment with their parents and others, or get depressed. [Source] In a domestic violent situation, children can get hurt physically as well and in extreme cases, are at risk of brain injury.

In adolescence, victims of ongoing DV or abuse, are more likely to engage in self-harm and risk taking behaviours including drug and alcohol abuse. Teens who are victims of abuse are more likely to have difficulty eating, sleeping and concentrating and may not care about things in their life. [Source] They are also more at risk of developing mental health problems including post-traumatic stress disorder, depressive disorders and anxiety disorders.

Most unfortunately, children and adolescents do not always disclose abuse. They are either scared or have been threatened to not say a word. There is also the fear that the family may break up and even though some of them may realise that it's better to be out, they still hold themselves responsible. And that is why they need a voice.

They need someone to speak up for them.

To look out for them. Even if it is Joe Blo next door.

Legally we don't have to interfere. But morally, it may be a different story.

Think of it this way --- if adults don't stand up for a child's safety, who will?

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Living beyond your means

2011-09-01T21:32:00.001+10:00

Last weekend I watched 'The Company Men' on DVD. It's a movie about the global financial crisis (GFC) and the aftermath focusing on a particular organisation. It was an okay movie but I couldn't feel any empathy for the main characters. And that's where this post is headed. Basically, the main characters work for this big corporate organisation and they are obviously rich and living in mega-mansions and then they are laid-off thanks to the GFC. And it is hard because they then fail to pay bills to their country clubs and the mortgage for their mega-mansion or their Porsche.

I know there was the theory that it was the recession that made Americans in particular realise they were living beyond their means and stretching their credit to the limit. I don't think that it's a far-fetched theory. And doesn't just apply to America but most of the world I would think.

Even today, right here, everyone wants to own a house. Not an apartment. But a 3 or 4 or 5 bedroom house with a backyard. Can they afford it? Well, the banks are always willing to own you so yes, they will give you a loan for about 500,000 to a million. So while you may not be able to afford it, you might still go ahead and take the loan. Then you have the cars. If you are image-conscious, a Holden Barina or Toyota Yaris are not the answer. No. You need a BMW or a Merc or a Peugot. And of course, every family needs a monstrosity of a 4WD to fit the kids in. Once again, the image-conscious need to be seen at the most trendy restaurants and bars. You can't just go to the cheap Indian take-away. You have to go to a place where the food costs at least $20. And the wine you drink has to be expensive. The clothes you wear have to be a designer brand. Jag, Portmans, Gucci, Jacqui E, Marc anthony. You wouldn't be caught dead in Target. And finally, the holidays. Because work is so stressful, you just have to go overseas for holidays. Australia is not good enough. It has to be Bali or Fiji or Hawaii or Europe.

I have never understood the need for living up to an image. When I was younger, I remember my uncle owning these big cars while my parents on the other hand have always had a small one. When I asked my uncle the need for such a car his answer was along the lines of how it was important to have a certain image when you went to the equivalent of a country club and had the valet park your car. I love my uncle. But I completely disagreed with him. And I still do.

I've never had a valet park my car. Maybe because I've never gone to a place that has a valet. I don't buy designer clothes. Mine are from Target when on sale. Or from other stores when on sale. Expensive foods are out. I live in an apartment and I'm perfectly content to bring up my kids in one in the future. My car is a used car --- a 2001 model. As for holidays, I go somewhere not so expensive when I can afford it. I do not earn that much so I don't understand the need to live beyond my means. I prefer saving. [Maybe my parents taught me stuff after all!]

I am no saint. I do have a credit card and I am guilty of the occasional impulse buy on it. But you won't see my buying stuff to have an image of success or an image of being rich. I am not rich. So why should I try and be something I'm not? That doesn't mean I dress like a slob or anything. I know I will need a home loan to buy a house but that doesn't mean I am going to buy a mansion. Because put simply, I can't afford one. I could afford to pay off an apartment though.

What is it that makes us live beyond our means? Is it just narcissism? The need to want to look better than others or keep up with the Joneses. Or do we think we deserve to have it all because we work hard? I understand with the ease of having things like credit cards and interest free periods to purchase goods and have loans, we are able to succumb to any of the above a lot more easily but what makes some of us more prone to it than others?

In the movie, after Ben Affleck's character loses his job, he still wants to keep his successful image and continue playing golf at the country club and dress in desginer clothes and keep his Prosche. But he is unwilling to take the only job available in tough economic times which offers him half his pervious salary.

And the thing is, there are probably people like that. Who think they deserve better and deserve to be living a rich lifestyle.

Even when they can't afford to.

Do you live beyond your means? If so, does it scare you?

Do share your thoughts...

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Dark-skinned girl

2011-08-30T20:51:00.000+10:00

I grew up in a society
Where the colour of your skin
Was a better indicator of beauty
Than the person within

Especially if you were a girl
On the day you were born
People would pity your parents
And in extreme cases, disown

“You poor thing”
They’d coo to my mum
“Not only is she a girl
But one that’s really dark brown”

While I enjoyed my childhood
Playing football with the boys
I still got cautioned by all
For it made me darker being outside

“How will you get married?”
The nosey aunties would demand
“If you play out in the sun
And have your skin so tanned?”

As I grew into my teenage years
The compliments came if my skin was fair
The less time I spent in the sun
Would ensure that grannies and aunts wouldn’t glare

I learnt that if you were dark and tan
Neither job nor love would you ever get
After all, what kind of man
Would want a wife dark enough to forget?

The ads on the telly
Bombarded me with this message
That if I used ‘Fair and lovely’
Many a job and man would I get

The other dark skinned women I knew
Described their colour akin to wheat
Which in my head made no sense
Apparently, it’s better that than dark-skinned you see

I caved around the age of thirteen
And tried those fairness creams a-few
Fat lot of good they did for me
As my dark skinned genes reigned supreme

I gave up my fight eventually
And resigned to that horrible fear
No job would I get, no man would want me
All these burdens I would endure

In my twenties I finally moved away
To a society with the majority white
And the funny story is that over here
My skin colour is viewed a delight

My light-skinned friends love my colour
And wish they could tan as well
They think it must be awesome to be brown
Be it summer or the winter months of hell

I no longer see ads telling me
That white is how we ought to be
In fact it is ever so queer
But being tan is the in thing over here

I realise that this dark skin of mine
Doesn’t matter to my employers or clients
And this chocolatey dark skin
Caught the eye of a wonderful guy

I am more accepting of my skin
Not just because of what others think
I realise how many colours look good to wear
The brighter they are, the better they seem

I love my dark brown skin
The colour of chocolate to me
And come the lovely warm summer,
I’ll be at the beach in my bikini

Those old nosey aunties still question my darkness
And with horror they exclaim and sigh
But I tell them proudly of how I love it this way
Every time I visit them with my head held high

***This has been written for One Single Impression Prompt 183***

Author's note: I have always had a problem with Indian society's emphasis on light skin to the point of constantly selling 'fairness' creams. I admit, I succumbed to the pressures occasionally and felt pretty bad about my looks only to come here to Australia and have friends envious of my colour! I understand there are other countries where fairness is valued too but I guess this is specific to India at the moment. I still get comments about how dark I have become by 'well-wishers' when I visit India. On the plus side, it no longer bothers me!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

The Nanny State

2011-08-29T16:51:00.001+10:00

A recent report has me seriously questioning the kind of world we are becoming. A nanny state if I may say so. The exact definition of a nanny state is this:

A nanny state is the perception of a situation characterised by governmental policies of over-protectionism, economic interventionism, or heavy regulation of economic, social or other nature. [Source]

Personally, I haven’t had a problem with some things the Australian government has done which have people shouting till they are blue in the face about us being a nanny state. For instance, I have no problem with the government wanting to introduce plain packaging for cigarettes. I understand this as being a heavy regulation but one that may have its benefits. Nor do I have an issue for stricter alcohol regulations in terms of having bars and pubs not serve alcohol after midnight if it will help curb alcohol-related violence.

I think what I do have a problem with is the “over-protectionism” part of the definition. The one where every one is told what to do and how to do it. Not necessarily in the form of a law but with ‘experts’ telling us what to do and what not to do. The most recent one that I mentioned at the start of this post was one where nanny agencies are asking the government to enforce a law where kids under the age of 14 should not be allowed to babysit younger kids. Added to that, there is a comment by someone who says it should be 18. Apparently, teenagers are not responsible enough to babysit.

And this is where I go on my rant. Are parents supposed to be that stupid? Can’t they decide which teenager is most suitable to babysit their kid? I mean, most parents are unlikely to get a teen who is themselves immature to babysit their 8 or 9 year old sibling. Children mature at different ages. As surprising as it may sound to the nannies calling for this legislation, some 12 and 13 year olds are in fact quite responsible. So they may not be able to drive their younger sibling to a hospital in an emergency but I'm pretty sure they know the phone numbers for an ambulance, the police or the fire brigade as well as know enough to call their own parents too!

Moreover, how are we ever going to teach kids to be responsible without giving them a bit of responsibility in the first place? I remember my parents leaving my sister (who is 5 years my junior) and me alone in the house with a set of instructions when I was around 8 or 9 years old. We never set the house on fire. We didn't end up killing each other. We didn't break anything or let strangers in. In fact, during those days, that was probably the time we got along best because we weren't competing for our parents' attention. The worst that I probably did was watch TV when given instructions not to. Maybe if I had been a feral kid, my parents wouldn't have left me alone at 8 but they would have when they thought I was responsible enough.

I have a gripe with some psychologists on this matter too. Now I tend to see some clients who thrive on being given responsibilities and then praise for it. Especially the behavioural ones who are written off. But some psychs can go to the extreme when you say that a 10 year old was given the responsibility for one day to prepare breakfast (cereal) for themselves and their siblings because apparently, that is parentifying a child in some way! What the hell?? On the other hand, the child loved the responsibility and it gave them the older sibling status and more importantly, positive reinforcement from the parent.

In my line of work, I see more and more legislation about what kids and parents can and cannot do. And to be honest, it's getting out of control now! I agree parents should not be allowed to hit their child. But there are some idiots out there who are now saying parents are not allowed to put their kids in time out because it is harmful to the child's self-esteem! Excuse me? What are parents supposed to then to discipline their kids? It's not all about positivity, you know. There have to be consequences too.

I think with some things, people should just let things be. Unless there is significant damage, there doesn't need to be a black and white legislation. Some matters can be considered on an individual basis.

Until then, I say, if a 12 or 13 year old is responsible enough, let them babysit! They are learning valuable things. And in any case, who is to say that an 18 year old babysitter can't be irresponsible? We see enough of P-plate accidents to see how responsible they can be!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Rhubarb

2011-08-27T16:06:00.001+10:00

...by Craig Silvey.

Meet Eleanor Rigby. Blind. Fiercely independent. Self-sufficient. With her guide dog Warren (who hates that his name refers to a place where rabbits live). Who is overprotective of her. Cynical about the world and extremely guarded about her feelings, she gets by on a daily basis. Then there is Ewan Dempsey. Agoraphobic. Social phobic. A maker and player of cellos. With a weird relationship with one of his cellos. And through his playing, he manages to entrance Eleanor who recognises in Ewan a kindred spirit. And thus ensues a story of both trying to face their fears.

It is a book about lonely people in many ways. Not just through the characters of Eleanor or Ewan but the others in the book too. Estelle, Eleanor's tv-addict mother who doesn't interact with her or anyone, for that matter. Bruno, the deli store owner who states he is Italian, but is in fact Romanian. Frank, one of the men in the neighbourhood who is friendly with Eleanor but hasn't yet come to terms with his wife's death. Silvey also looks at how disabilities can marginalise people in society and how sometimes, they appear to be at the very low-end of society.

The book is okay. Somehow, despite the seemingly interesting characters, I got lost. I think it was the writing style. This is Silvey's debut novel and he had an unusual writing style. Short sentences. Running words. [e.g. Onandonandon] Addressing the reader in some places. [references to 'you'] And just dragging on and on in some parts. I think the writing style took away what the story could possibly have had for me. I bought this book after reading Silvey's Jasper Jones which I absolutely loved! And this was a disappointment.

I tried to like it. I really did. Especially given his work on Jasper Jones and all the other positive reviews. But somehow, there was a bit too much symbolism and use of metaphors for my liking. And it just didn't have the same flavour as Jasper Jones.

All in all, it was unfortunately a disappointment for me. I would rate it a 2 out of 5.

Edited to add: After reading a couple of comments on this post, I would like to add that if the story interests you, go ahead and read it and make up your own mind. The book has received several positive reviews but just didn't do it for me. You may end up liking it or loving it!

***This has been written as part of the Aussie Author Challenge 2011***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Obsessive - Compulsive Disorder. Or Not

2011-08-25T10:17:00.002+10:00

I wake up in the morning

And wash my hands real well

Scrubbing all the germs away

The ones that our lives dwell

To finish this wash

Takes me about an hour

And before I know it

It’s time for my shower

As I scrub every nook and crevice

With a new soap each time

I make sure I’m very clean

And there’s a new towel on my line

In my closet you will see

Clothes sorted oh-so-neatly

Reds, blues, purples, blacks

All colour-coded and perfectly stacked

Not once will you find

A green blouse amidst a blue

Nor will you find my underwear and socks

Strewn all over askew

Making brekky is a chore

As the toast needs to be perfectly square

It means I get rid of many

But fortunately have several to spare

As I finally leave for work

There is a ritual to follow

Lock the door once and check it twice

Go to my car, but head back to check just once more

These rituals keep my life in order

Strange as it may seem to you

I’ve been told I have obsessive-compulsive disorder

I try to think that it isn’t true

What is wrong with keeping clothes colour-coded?

And since when did neatness become a crime?

So I like to thoroughly rid myself of germs

And agreed, I don’t get to work in time

I may have obsessive-compulsive disorder

But this is what I really think

It’s society’s obsession with perfection and being ‘normal’

That will bring us all to insanity’s brink!

Disclaimer: Not everyone suffering from OCD has all of the above; some people have checking compulsions, others have the need to have things in a certain order and still others may have a phobia of germs. There are also obsessions where people fear they may hurt someone or someone they love will die and they engage in compulsions like counting or praying or avoiding certain things. Read this to find out more about OCD. It is a legitimate mental health problem for some people and in those cases they certainly need therapy or medication to assist them. We all may have our little quirks and obsessions and compulsive behaviours but it becomes a problem when it begins to interfere with your general functioning. For the record, I do not do any of the above! I have other obsessions and compulsive behaviours but none that warrant therapy.

***This has been written for One Single Impression Prompt 182***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Doppelgänger

2011-08-22T21:09:00.001+10:00

I was the gym on Saturday working out when suddenly this lady started talking to me about how it was sometimes hard to get time to come and work out when you had chores. I politely made conversation too about working out and being busy and all of that.

And then she asked me: So do you still work at such-and-such place?

I looked blankly at her and said I'd never worked there. In fact, I'd never worked in the local area (i.e. the suburb I live in) which is where she meant. Turns out she probably thought I was someone else and most likely had been thinking me as being rude previously for never talking to her.

Before you think she was someone from a background who thinks "all Indians/Pakistanis/Srilankans look alike" [which is what R thought when I told him about it], she was from and Indian or Srilankan background herself.

So that theory of outgroup homogeneity or ingroup-outgroup bias is out the window.

Which then made me think --- do I have a doppelganger around?

Do you ever wonder whether there is someone out there in the world who looks exactly like you? I remember some years ago, Femba girl told me she met someone in college who reminded her of me. However, I can't remember whether it was in looks or behaviour or both. [Femba girl...if you are reading this, please help clarify!]

I find myself thinking: is there someone out there who looks exactly like me. 5 feet tall, Indian ethnicity, plump, wearing glasses, brown eyes, long black hair. [I think I just described several people...] But jokes aside, is there someone who could be mistaken as my twin? And if so, what is their personality like? Are they introverted as well? Do they enjoy cricket, food, reading, blogging, or any other similar things? Do they think the same way about issues as I do? Are they in a similar line of work?

Through blogging, I have found a few people who freakishly think along the same lines as I do. Legal Alien is one. Honestly, she and I have freakishly similar thoughts. We both love Australia. We both love food. We both wrote similar posts back when the whole 'racism' fiasco was taking place. We also wrote similar posts recently about Fred Nile [mine and hers]. She is a journalist and when I initially took up Arts, it was with the plan of becoming one. Mind you, we have never met. I can assure you though, we look nothing alike. She is way skinnier than yours truly! :)

Then there is Titaxy. We both seem quite similar too. Similar interests [reading!!!] Similar attitude to shopping, jewellry, fashion, make-up [not really into it!] Both like Australia and Australian cricket [Even though she no longer follows the game living in the US of A] In terms of appearances, I don't really know whether we are similar or not because I haven't actually seen any picture of hers.

I also wonder if there is also someone out there who may look exactly like me but is the total opposite in that they are extroverted, a party person, totally irresponsible, very immature and living each day as it comes. And of course, not at all anxious and neurotic like yours truly! I think I would like to meet them. Not because I think I am missing out on something. But because I am curious.

How freaky would it be though, to encounter someone exactly like you? Whether in looks or personality.

Have you had any doppelganger stories you would like to share?

Have you met your doppelganger?

What would you do if you were to meet your doppelganger?

Go on, tell us!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

App, App and away...

2011-08-21T04:00:00.000+10:00

I am not the best person to be talking about technology.

In fact, in today's world, I am probably very technologically-challenged. From the outset, I have refused to buy into the 'i' shenanigans and jump on their bandwagon. But I have caved in and got an android phone. Even so, the only apps on my phone are the blogging related ones or the twitter app.

However, even technologically-challenged me can see the importance of technology and the manner in which we are all becoming dependent on it. And while I fear for the future with regards to some aspects of technology, I must grudgingly admit that there are other areas I am glad are being developed.

One such area is apps. No, not just our basic twitter or facebook or blogger apps. But rather, more useful ones.

Being a psychologist who assesses children's learning and developmental abilities (in addition to mental health), I tend come across a number of children with learning disabilities including reading disorders, expressive and receptive language disorders, mathematics disorder, pervasive developmental disorders and autism spectrum disorders. When I diagnose learning disabilities, I tend to provide recommendations to schools and parents about what can be done to better help the child. Sometimes though, I feel like I fight a losing battle because schools may not have enough funding to actually help a child with a learning disorder. As a result, those with reading disorders, language disorders and maths disorders do not always get the help they need.

However, with the improvements in technology, hopefully this will soon be history. Hopefully, parents will be able to help kids in their own homes and teachers won't necessarily have to depend on teacher's aides to come in and help these kids. Some apps I found useful in this regard through Intel AppUp are the following:

1. The ANTILO app

This is an app to help individuals with expressive language problems. So while it assists someone with an expressive language disorder, it can also be used by individuals with an autism spectrum disorder as they tend to have expressive lanaguage problems, and adults with expressive language difficulties following strokes or due to dementia. This app helps the user translate text to speech, uses images to better help understanding and expressing onself, and also helps the user practice listening and communicating. I can think of at least a couple of clients of mine who would greatly benefit from this app. One has a severe expressive language problem and finds it hard to communicate what happens at school and as a result gets very frustrated when others don't understand. This app would help him express himself better, thereby reducing that frustration and anger at himself.

2. Phonics made easy flash action

Individuals with a reading disorder more often than not have a problem with phonology i.e. understanding the sounds of letters. Hence, generally after being diagnosed, they are recommended to get more assistance with phonics and phonological awareness. However, more often than not, in order to do so, parents have to shell out money to see a speech pathologist. But right here with this program, learning phonics becomes fun and cheaper and something that can be done at home. All parents would have to do is purchase the app and then spending an hour each day with their child to learn the basic phonological skills and test them too. The main aim of this app appears to be that learning should be fun. And for a child who is has difficulty with learning and therefore loses interest easily, learning needs to be made fun!

3. Phonics Pencil Pal

Similar to the previous app, this one too is a brilliant one for kids with reading disorders. Teaching them the basics of phonology in a fun way is what is needed and what better way than having Zachary Zebra and his team teach them!

I can learn to use technology a bit more if this is where we are headed. Hopefully in the future, there will also be more apps to assist individuals with an autism spectrum disorder understand social cues and nonverbal messages. And who knows? There may be an app for anger management so that kids can use that to help them before they blow up and get into trouble. After all, with the next generation being more tech-savvy, that's where my client base is headed.

And it is only sensible if I keep up to date with the apps.

But for the time being, I know I am going to be recommending the aove apps to some of the parents.

So is there going to be a therapy app?

You just never know!

This blog is an entry to the "My Favorite PC App" contest. Check out numerous apps for PC/Netbooks available at the Intel AppUp Center. If you are looking for an opportunity to build and monetize your applications, check out the Intel® Atom™ Developer Program.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Significance of a word

2011-08-20T14:55:00.000+10:00

How much difference can a mere word make?

For instance, telling someone you had a traumatic time giving your presentation when in fact, it was probably challenging and difficult. Or saying you are depressed when it is dull, grey and rainy rather than not in the best spirits in such weather.

Do you think these can have an influence?

You would certainly think so given the manner in which the media uses language to greatly sensationalise events. A rain storm is a disaster. A week of rainy weather is terrible, horrible, and awful. A minor incident is described as shocking. You get the drift.

Studies have shown that eye-witness testimony can be influenced by the language used. Back in the 1970s, a breakthrough study on the validity of eyewitness testimony by Loftus and Palmer had participants witness a video of a car accident and then asked them to describe what happened. Participants in different groups were asked specific questions about what happened when the cars hit/ smashed/ collided/ bumped/ came into contact with one another. A week later participants were asked to recall whether they saw broken glass. Results showed that the kind of words used in the questions had an impact on how many of them recalled seeing broken glass. in other words, the group that had the question using the word ‘smashed’ had significantly more individuals seeing broken glass compared the group with the question using the word ‘hit’. In fact, there was no broken glass at all. While this was mainly a study of eyewitness testimony and leading questions, it also brings to light just how we perceive situations based on the language used.

In a similar vein, are you therefore more likely to be more agitated and upset if you use the word traumatic to describe a situation that is say, difficult? I would think it likely.

I especially have an issue when people offhandedly use the word 'traumatic' to describe an event which may not be so. I see clients with real trauma. Clients from refugee backgrounds who have been through war and seen people killed. Clients who have been sexually or physically abused for years. Clients who have lived in a domestically violent home for years. Clients who have been assaulted once. These are traumatic events.

On the other hand, I get irked when a friend or acquaintance will describe a difficult situation at work or home as traumatic. Or the media who will talk about something not-so-traumatic as though it were. Or even parents or teachers or caregivers who want to validate a child's feelings by stating how traumatic a break up from their boyfriend or girlfriend is. Break ups are sad and suck. But they are not traumatic!

I think we need to be very careful with the language we use. Whether it is to define behaviours or feelings or experiences. Being sad is not the same as being depressed. Hitting someone is not the same as bashing them. An unfortunate event is not necessarily the same as a disastrous event.

If we pay attention to the language used, we probably will have a better perspective over these thoughts, feelings, behaviours and experiences in our lives. If not, we are likely to be living the way in which the media portrays things --- in extremes.

So, if we think "I always screw up" we are likely to be more disappointed in ourselves as compared to "I occasionally make mistakes like others" Language is interesting. But it can definitely influence the way we feel.

What are your thoughts on this?

Do you notice if you tend to occasionally use language that is very exaggerated or extreme or global?

Do share!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Wordless Wednesday - To Read

2011-08-17T22:59:00.001+10:00

Waiting to be read; with four books not in pic

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Free

2011-08-15T10:14:00.003+10:00

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 23; the twenty-third edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for this month is FREE.

For years I have longed for

Release from this relationship

Ever so far from you I’d go

Escaping your hurtful blows and whips

Fortunate I was, to

Run away some years ago

Even though you caught me later

Even though you punished me so

For I had seen what it was like

Remaining away from you

Enhanced by a taste for life

Existing by myself for that day or two

Flying away from this nest

Ruminating on what next to do

Engaging with that plan in mind

Enabled me to put up with you

Finally, the awaited day arrived

Rosy morning, a day so clear

Escape plan vivid in my mind, I

Entranced you into bed, my dear

Forever the image of you carved in my brain

Rasping for breath and stemming gushing blood in vain

Echoing sounds I’d uttered in pain, I

Ensured you’d never hurt me again

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Why Harry Potter is not just a kid's book

2011-08-10T20:29:00.004+10:00

Click on image to link to source

Harry Potter.

The story of a boy wizard whose parents were killed and who then attempts to fight the evil Lord Voldemort as he grows older.

A tale of fantasy and fiction. A different world altogether. A book about magic, witches and wizards, and a tale of good versus evil.

Sounds like a children’s book, right?

Harry Potter is far from being just that. Yes, it probably appeals to kids because of all of what I just mentioned. But there is a lot more to Harry Potter than just the good versus evil and the magical world. There is lot there for adults. This post is probably for those adults who pooh-pooh Harry Potter [including some individuals I know personally who cannot fathom why I continue to re-read my Harry Potter series with the same enthusiasm as a 27 year old as when I first read them at 18]. The reason I say that Harry Potter has a lot more to it is because of the themes covered in the series.

Death: Yes, death. J. K. Rowling got the idea for the books following the death of her own mother. As a consequence, the books have a lot to do with death and this is one of the overarching themes albeit subtle in the first few books. Not only does it deal with how the death of loved ones can affect us, it is also about the fear of death. Voldemort fears death. His own death. And it is because of this fear, he goes on to divide his soul into seven thus rendering him immortal until and unless all the parts are destroyed. Harry on the other hand, accepts death --- in the final book, that is. And this makes all the difference in the world. The manner in which Harry's mother sacrifices her life to protect him creates a protective charm. In a similar vein, when Harry truly accepts that he must die for Voldemort to die, he creates a protective charm for his loved ones. Dumbledore too chose to die on his own terms. In terms of dealing with death, no one knows it better than Harry. Having lost his parents at the age of one, he grows up to lose people he loves as well --- Sirius, Dumbledore and Lupin --- as well as people he is friends with --- Fred Weasley, Cedric, Tonks, Moody among others. He yearns to bring back the dead when he knows there might be a way. He years to speak to the dead. And it is a pain most of us can identify with because even if we haven't lost someone, the fear of losing them is always there.

Prejudice:This is probably one of the biggest themes and the core reason why Voldemort is who he is. Voldemort thinks that all wizards and witches should be pure-blood. In other words, both parents should be magical themselves. A half-blood is one with only one parent of magical descent while the other might be of human (or muggle) descent. A mudblood is a person whose parents are both of muggle descent. Hermione Granger, one of Harry’s best friends is of such descent. Voldemort aims to get rid of mudbloods and muggles and half-bloods. The irony is that he himself is half-blood. This whole notion of trying to wipe out mudlbloods and half-bloods is akin to what Hitler did with the Jews. It is also similar to racism in general. The manner in which the pure bloods talk about mudbloods and half-bloods is filled with prejudice and the notion of pure bloods being supreme in the magical world. In the final book, you understand the importance of education in forming the views of the young and innocent. What is it that stops some of us from being racist as compared to others? It is education.

Mental health and stigma: The Dementors are meant to represent the blackness tormenting so many of us in the real world --- depression. Rowling identifies exactly what it is like to have a mental health problem like depression through the use of the dementors --- where you feel like you can never be happy again. In the second book of the series, when Ron and Hermione think Harry is hearing voices, Ron tells him that hearing voices is not a good sign even in the wizarding world. How many times have we heard this in the real world? Where if you hear voices, no one wants to be with you. You are almost alone apart from your loved ones. Talking about these issues in popular books like this helps people think differently and kudos to Rowling for talking about mental health.

Free will versus Destiny: Even though a prophecy is revealed in Book 5 which reveals why Voldemort targetted Harry in the first place, we go on to learn that it doesn't mean a particular path is destined. Voldemort heard part of the prophecy which stated that a child born around the time Harry was would overcome him and that neither could live while the other survived. Voldemort took that prophecy to mean Harry was a danger to him. He marked Harry as his equal. What Dumbledore tries to teach Harry is that Harry doesn't have to kill Voldemort because a prophecy. But rather, Harry wants to avenge his parents deaths. I think this is a lesson to all of us who think that things in life are destined to be a certain way. Personally, I believe, if that were so, why would we bother? Yes, there may be paths but I think we have a certain amount of free will to choose which direction we want, thereby changing our destinies.

In addition to all the above, there are also themes about the damage of malicious rumour and gossip, the manner in which the media can and does blow things way out of proportion, how we judge people incorrectly based on their looks or who they are related to, the power of self-sacrifice and selflessness, independence, coming of age, and of course, the importance of love, friendship and family. However, if I were to go into all of these, I think I could write a whole book myself!

If you haven't read the Harry Potter books, you probably don't know what I am talking about. But I would highly recommend you read them.

If you have read the books, well, share your ideas too...I know there are lot more themes I probably haven't touched upon!

Finally, if you wish to read my reviews on the books in this series, go to the 'Read and Reviewed' section and click on the respective links.

*******

And on a slightly different note, this is my 500th post on this blog! Thank you all for continuing to read my thoughts and views --- you make blogging even more worthwhile!

*******

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

A, B, C...some more about me

2011-08-08T05:30:00.000+10:00

I took on this tag from Scribby's blog. The A, B, C tag.

A
- Available: For my readers...always!
- Age: 27 [even though I forget and think I'm 28]
- Animals: Yes we are...

B
- Beer: Love it! Can't wait for summer when I can be back at the pub drinking a schooner or two...
- Birthday: Sometime in the beginning of the year...
- Best friend: More than just one
- Body Part on opposite sex: I was going to say smile but I guess that's not a body part, huh?
- Best feeling in the world: After eating great food, after working out at the gym, having read a good book, enjoying the cold beach water on a hot summer's day...
- Best weather: Sunshiney Spring. Where art thou?
- Been in Love: Yes. [Do you not read my blog? Do you not know Gilly?]
- Been on stage: Yes again...sigh...traumatic flashbacks!
- Believe in Magic: Hell yeah! How dare you ask me that, you muggle!
- Believe in Santa: Nope. Fat guy in red suit climbing through chimneys. Really?
- Brand: Homebrand [Also known as the cheapie brand at Woolies]

C
- Candy: Floss?
- Colour: Purple
- Chocolate/Vanilla: Chocolate all the way
- Chinese/Indian/Italian: I'm guessing this is food and hence the answer is Indian; if it's men, then Italian...
- Cake or pie: Can I have both? Chocolate cake and an apple-berry or lemon meringue pie...
- Cheese: Brie, Camembert, Jarlsberg, Mozarella and plain old tasty cheese...love them all!

D
- Day or Night: Night...because I enjoy my sleep...
- Dancing in the rain: Ugh! I hate walking or driving in the rain...dancing would have to be ten times worse...

E
- Eyes: Four
- Ever failed a class?: Failed a Geography test and exam in Year 7 and an Economics test in Year 11
- Enemies: Probably...they haven't told me yet though
- Exercise: Trying to at least 4 days a week at the moment. Would like to do more!

F
- First thoughts waking up: Damn...it's morning already...
- Food: All of it...

G
- Greatest Fear: Losing loved ones
- Goals: Professional mainly...
- Get along with your parents: Yep...more often than not especially since I don't live with them!

H
- Hair Color: Black...it has never been coloured
- Happy: I have a job I love, a roof over my head, food on the table and loved ones in my life...so yes, I am happy and content
- Holiday: What's that?

I
- Ice Cream: Always...a chocolate one please

J
- Jewelry: Mainly earrings [given I have three piercings on each ear]
- Job: Child and adolescent psychologist...love it...absolutely love it!

K
- Kids: Someday perhaps...currently the only ones I see I get to give back to their parents after an hour! :)
- Kickboxing or karate: Kickboxing!
- Keep a journal?: What do you reckon this might be??

L
- Love: A feeling...
- Laughed so hard you cried: Yeah...

M

- Milk flavour: Do I need to say it again? Chocolate!
- Movies: Alternative/Dramas
- Motion sickness: Not really
- McDonald’s or BK: I don't know what BK is. And I ~~don't like~~ loathe Maccas. Prefer not to have much fast food and if and when I do, it's Oporto

N
- Number: 7 [What...you asked for a number and apparently according to my late grandfather, 7 is my number!]

O
- One wish: Read the previous post to know that!

P
- Perfect Pizza: With a lot of cheese!
- Pepsi/Coke: Neither...not a fan!
- Perfume/Cologne: Perfume I suppose although usually I just use a deo!

Q
- Quail: eggs looks funny

R
- Reason to cry: At the drop of a hat
- Reality T.V : Is bullshit and the worst thing that ever happened to TV!
- Radio Station: 104.9 Triple M for the music on the way to work or 2UE 954 for AM talkback on the way home from work

S
- Song: Currently 'Another Day' by The Living End running through my head...
- Shoe size: A mini 5...which makes it bloody hard to get here!
- Salad Dressing: Italian or Greek
- Skinny dip: Might consider it when I've lost a bit more weight...
- Strawberries/Blueberries : Both!
- Sport: Cricket...test and one-dayers. Not T20!

T
- Tattoos: I wish! Need to overcome the fear of pain to get one.
- Thunderstorms: Hate them with a passion. Especially if I'm not indoors!

U
- Unpredictable: Nothing about me...

V
- Vacation spot(s): Hah! What vacation spots? You need money for that...

W
- Weakness: Food
- Who makes you laugh the most: Sheldon Cooper
- Worst Weather?: Rains

X
- X-Rays: Mostly of my teeth

Y
-Year it is now: Year of the Rabbit
-Yellow: Mellow

Z
- Zoo animal: Panda

I tag anyone else who wants to take this on.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

The Evil One

2011-08-06T10:05:00.002+10:00

Ever wished someone dead? Like really, really dead? Not just in anger or frustration saying "I wish you were dead!" but rather an ongoing longing and counting down.

I have.

Just one person. For almost a decade now.

My paternal grandmother.

Yes, regular readers will have heard me whinge about her often. And new readers may think I'm callous and cold. But honest, if you knew her, you'd feel the same.

This is a woman who treated her own daughter like crap. Because she was a girl.

This is the woman who was verbally and physically abusive towards her husband when he was frail. She would hit him and call him a loser and say he wasn't a man.

This is the woman who openly favours her older son and thinks he can do no wrong despite him living miles away from her and only visiting once every three or four years.

This is the woman who says negative things about every single person apart from that oldest son of hers [and no, I'm not exaggerating] and then wonders why people don't visit her often.

This is the woman who has never once smiled [since I've been alive at least].

This is the woman who treats my mother like shit and finds fault with everything every single day and expects my father to be at her beck and call and who loathes me because I look like my mother but loves my sister because she looks like my uncle [her favoured son, remember?] and father.

This is the woman who despite living with my parents for 12 years and being a burden on them doesn't remember their birthdays or anniversary but will remember her favoured son's birthday and anniversary.

This is the woman who would give an Oscar-winning actor a run for their money given the way she acts like an invalid in front of my father but the minute he goes to work, she is all better.

This is the woman who lies through her teeth and then states she doesn't lie.

This is the woman who thinks everything has to be about her and brags about how great the family line is.

This is the woman who makes negative comments on the dark skin of my mother and me and praises the lighter skin of her sons and the favoured son's wife.

This is the woman who blames my maternal grandmother for apparently putting ideas of standing up to her into my mother's head in the last 5 years [and I ask, why did she wait for 25 years if that was the case???].

This is the woman who has always given away saris my parents have bought for her to others and always complained that there was something wrong with it. But at the same time will brag about what her favoured son brings her from America [which is by the way, a sari].

This is the woman who created a hue and cry because my father thought of going away for a couple of weeks on holidays [after almost 10 years of no break] with my mother and sister.

This is the woman who is narcissistic. So much so when my mother's bypass surgery was scheduled, she asked my sister that since she was going out [i.e. to the hospital] could she please exchange a sari that was bought for her?

Why am I writing this now?

Because I am worried about my parents. I don't give a shit that the grandmother hates me because the feeling is and always has been mutual. It has never been about me. Probably because I was the only one standing up to her and her narcissistic ways.

The sad thing is my dad still doesn't stand up to her. And it pains me to see how they have aged. My mum had to undergo a bypass surgery thanks to the stress this woman creates. After all, my mum was fit and healthy and no cholesterol problems were found. But 12 years of putting up with this woman has its effects.

For my mum it was her heart. For my dad, I don't know. He has been having a fever lately and it hasn't gone away yet. Because he hasn't had time to recuperate. The grandmother too got a fever and expects him to still tend to her despite his own illness. And even though they have got some help for her, she wants it to be my parents answering her every beck and call. How is my dad supposed to get better?

What about the rest of the family, I hear you ask.

Well, they are fucked up too. They all suck up to her (read: my cousins and their families) only because they want the money after she dies. But when it comes to actually helping out at a time like this, no one wants to take responsibility.

I hear from my sister that my mum has lost weight again in the last month. She looked healthy when I was there back in June. The two times I have visited India after moving here I notice my parents looking older but the grandmother always looks all right. In fact, she seems to get fatter every time I visit. And apart from slow motor movements and slight loss of hearing which comes with old age, she is a healthy woman. My dad on the other hand looks older than his 60 years. [A friend of mine who visited after 6 years noticed it too] And mum, well, the fact that she had a bypass surgery at 52 should tell you the story.

I feel helpless. Talking to the grandmother doesn't help. Everyone has tried it...more so after mum's surgery...telling her she should leave and live with her favoured son. But she refuses [because his wife works and so there will be no one home to be at her beck and call] and her favoured son makes excuses to not have her too.

I am scared that one of my parents [or both] will die before the evil one dies. But I keep longing for the grandmother to die.

I used to joke with my sister --- neither god in heaven nor the devil in hell want the grandmother. And so they decided to keep her on earth.

Now I'm scared it might just be true. She is that evil. That narcissistic. That self-involved. With a cutting tongue. That can never say anything positive about anyone apart from her heritage and her favoured son.

I really, really want the grandmother to die. Not because I give a damn about what she has in her will or any such stupid stuff. But because that is the only way my parents are going to have some peace without dying themselves.

Just felt like I had to vent about this. All of this.

And please, don't bother making excuses for the grandmother...I could write a much longer post to prove to you just how twisted and vindictive and well, evil she is. But I don't want to give her more space on this blog than I just have.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Car-watching

2011-08-04T13:56:00.003+10:00

This morning instead of being my usual disgruntled self on the way to work, I tried something different. Observing people in their cars from my own while waiting at a set of lights.

...the lady applying make-up while stopped at the lights. Eye-liner, mascara, lipstick, and other make-up equipment I have no clue about.

...the guy eating his toast and enjoying it.

...the guy tying his tie and getting frustrated.

...the lady talking nineteen to a dozen to her partner who continues to stare straight ahead at the stagnant traffic.

...the mother apparently lecturing her teenage daughter who is busy flicking through her phone.

...the man excitedly turning up the volume of his music and shaking his head to the beats.

...the man yawning at the rate of about a yawn every couple of seconds. And making me yawn too.

...the bus driver giving the students a friendly smile as they hop on the bus. And not all of them noticing to actually return it.

...the guy talking on his mobile phone and sounding quite busy before 8 in the morning.

...the lady apparently humming along to music and smiling. And in turn, making me smile too.

So many sights. So many sounds. All on a morning on the way to work. I need to pay more attention...not just to the traffic on the road but the variety life has to offer in the form of people, nature, and beauty.

I might try this more often. Try and be present.

So what things do you notice about people on your way to work or university?

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Ethics, Religion and Politics

2011-08-02T12:00:00.004+10:00

Over the weekend I read a piece of news that had me annoyed. Apparently, the NSW state government made a deal with the Christian Democratic Party and its leader Fred Nile to consider removing ethics classes from schools. Let me explain.

Students attending government schools (aka public schools) in NSW used to have a class called scripture where they studied religious scripture. However, towards the end of last year, the previous state government introduced ethics classes as an alternative to scripture. In other words, they didn't remove scripture classes but gave students of non-religious families the option to study ethics. These ethics classes focus on issues ranging from children's rights, human rights, animal cruelty, to whether children should be allowed to vote. In short, it appears to be teaching children to think critically about a variety of issues.

Fred Nile and his conservative CDP seem to think this is wrong. After all, who wants a generation to think critically when you can brainwash them with religious scripture, right? Remember, this is a guy who wants bills to be passed repealing laws that allow same-sex couples to adopt and to ban individuals (adults) from possessing pornography.

But you know what? Fred Nile is entitled to have his views and opinions. No matter how backward they may seem to you and me. If he thinks homosexuality is a sin, so be it. But he needs to understand that most of us do not subscribe to his views. And that is where my problem lies.

I have a problem with him trying to push religion and scripture (any religion, by the way) onto young children today. Young kids that attend the public school system. If parents really want their kids to be taught religious scriptures, that's what the catholic and other private religious schools are for. There are private Anglican, Catholic, Coptic, Greek Orthodox, Islamic and Assyrian schools that exist in NSW for parents who are keen for their kids to be oriented in the scripture and religion. The public system is not a place for preaching religion or scripture. Having said that, I am okay with scripture still being taught as long as it is a choice for students and not the only option thereby making it compulsory.

It makes my blood boil to think that the state government is even considering removing these classes. I was under the impression that the church (read: religion) has no place in politics. But I'm seriously starting to doubt that. What with the federal government spending millions to have chaplains in public schools (instead of qualified psychologists) and the state government thinking of giving in to a religious fanatic to get a vote on capping wages, I fear we may be heading the way the Americans did under Bush. Despite having an atheist prime minister. [Can you imagine how much worse off we would be with religious fanatic Tony Abbott???]

But I digress.

Here's a wonderful piece written by an 11 year old who wants the ethics classes to stay.

If nothing, I hope the government keeps the ethics classes so we have more intelligent kids thinking critically and making good decisions in life. Although then, as the 11 year old himself said,

But then again, if children could go to the polls then perhaps Fred Nile, the leader of the Christian Democratic Party in NSW, wouldn't have the power that he has today.

And maybe that's the ulterior motive. To keep brainwashing young minds to be able to be voted in a position of power and thereby ensure we live in regressive society that thinks homosexuality is a sin and divorce is wrong and watching pornography will result in us going to hell.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Beautiful Malice

2011-08-01T12:34:00.002+10:00

...by Rebecca James.

17 year old Katherine Patterson has moved to Sydney to get away from her life in Melbourne. While she lives with her aunt Vivien and attends Drummond High School with the aim of keeping to herself and getting through the HSC, she is befriended by Alice at school. Alice is infectious. An extroverted, bubbly girl living by herself in the inner city, breathtakingly beautiful and with no apparent regrets or anxieties. However, Alice avoids talking about anything emotional. But it doesn't bother Katherine as she too has a secret she wants to keep hidden. It has to do with the death of her younger sister Rachel. The very reason Katherine left Melbourne and chose not to go to Newcastle with her parents. However, all is not right with Alice. She can be vicious and mean. She treats her boyfriend Robbie like dirt. She doesn't like it if things are not all about her.

Will Katherine put up with this or will she see through Alice?

What is it about Katherine's past that makes her still feel so guilty?

What happened to her sister Rachel? What is the deep dark family secret?

And what secrets does Alice have herself?

To find out the secrets, read the book. All in all, it was a captivating thriller and I managed to read it in a day. The author has an engaging style and the plot is pretty interesting. The characters are average in that there isn't too much depth to them. However, you have to remember it is a book aimed at young adults and possibly the plot is more important than characters. Some of the shit that Alice dishes out to her 'friends' makes it a bit hard to understand why they put up with it. Why they put up with her. The book goes from present to past with an adult Katherine narrating the story. The adult Katherine appears to have dealt with a lot of grief through her life and is now living for the sake of her 4 year old daughter. In short, it is a great debut novel.

I would rate it a 4 out of 5.

***This has been written as part of the Aussie Author Challenge 2011***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

10 Day Challenge: One Picture. Of Me.

2011-07-30T17:00:00.001+10:00

Okay. Finally. Done with this challenge after this post. It wasn't too bad. Kept the blog busy. But I also wonder whether I may have just lost readers or at least comments due to these posts. Oh well. I did have fun with some of the posts!

So anyway, this one requires me to post a picture of myself. That's going to be tricky given that so far I have maintained anonymity in terms of my name and face. But why not? For the sake of this challenge and this post, I will post a picture of myself.

Me - bushwalking at Botany Bay National Park

Sorry. I couldn't do. The best I can do is show you my shadow clicking a picture and carrying my bag. :)

Maybe someday.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

A Fraction of the Whole

2011-07-29T15:32:00.002+10:00

...by Steve Toltz.

This is a massive 700 page debut novel by author Steve Toltz and was shortlisted for the Man Booker Prize in 2008. Meet the Deans. As Jasper Dean starts off “The fact is, the whole of Australia despises my father more than any other man, just as they adore my uncle more than any other man. I might as well set the story straight about both of them…”

That statement should give you a hint of the ride you are in for as a reader.

With his father, Martin Dean now dead, Jasper tries to make sense of him while writing from gaol for a reason unknown to readers. Villain or hero? Crazy or sane? He tries to understand some of his father's schemes to try and make the world a better place. There is one main concern that plagues Jasper: is he going to end up being crazy like his father? Throughout his father’s life, Jasper did his best to keep his distance to avoid the lunacy but at the same time, appeared to have a bond with him. After all, his father tended to have good intentions to begin with but with catastrophic consequences.

Martin Dean was a difficult, paranoid and intelligent man during his time alive. He spent about four years as a child in a coma and once out of it, felt disconnected from the world and outwardly philosophical. All Martin wanted to do was leave his mark behind in this world. And trouble began when people started listening to him. Martin’s sanity is questioned throughout the book. The uncle adored by the whole of Australia, Terry Dean, was a sporting hero in his younger days and a criminal later when plagued by injury. But a Ned Kelly type vigilante who was out to get all the sporting cheats. And hence, looked at as a hero. However, Terry is eventually captured and presumed to have died in a bushfire that ravaged the prison.

Jasper takes us on this rollercoaster journey through his father’s and uncle’s lives (narrated at times by Martin) and his father’s crazy adventures, how his father comes up with a way of making everyone in Australia a millionaire, gets married to his childhood sweetheart becomes the prime minister, then becomes the most hated man in the country, flees the country with Jasper to Thailand and his own story of jetting off to Europe to search for his absent mother’s past.

All in all, it’s a fun read and keeps you hooked to know more about the characters. It has its laugh out loud moments and its “you-can’t-be-serious” ones too. It’s a riot and one hell of a ride! A great achievement by a debutante. About Australia. About being able to not take yourself too seriously. And about craziness and lunacy of human beings. And how in life, in the end, there are only a few important people who matter. I would give it a rating of 4 out of 5.

***This has been written for the Aussie Author Challenge 2011***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Needs

2011-07-27T05:00:00.000+10:00

The need to be filthy rich

The need to be skinny

The need to have the latest gadget

The need to be extremely pretty

The need to look one’s very best

The need for designer shoes

The need for the perfect partner

The need to have several from which to choose

The need to have the flashiest car

The need to be living in a multi-storey home

The need to have the finest wine

The need to travel to the likes of France or Rome

The need to have a high paying job

The need for perfect kids

The need to eat the finest foods

The need for pedigree pets

All these wants

That we confuse for needs

All these materials

Only heightening our greed

We are always wanting more

And living with discontent

Feeling down and desolate

Being unhappy with the present

Forgetting what it important

Food, shelter and clothing

And even more significant

Loved ones, not belongings

If we gave up these wants

And ‘needed’ a lot less

We’d be happier and content

With living life itself

***This was written for One Single Impression Prompt 178: Need***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

10 Day Challenge: Two Songs

2011-07-26T05:00:00.000+10:00

Two Songs. Hmm...from about a gazillion. Okay, I'm going to mention two songs which have some sort of meaning in my life.

1. Dive in by Darius

I can almost hear some of you going "Darius who"? This song came out around 2003 -2004 (in India at least) and I loved the whole album. This song was never officially released with a video. But it is this song in particular that made an impact in my life. I was going through a low phase in 2004 after my undergrad in terms of hating Mumbai University postgrad psychology, not being happy with the way things were in life in general and was contemplating whether or not to try and study in Australia (possibly the only reason I wasn't clinically depressed was because I was loving the gym after graduating). Anyway, I applied to a few universities and then got back an offer from one that was last on my list. I was confused whether I should go ahead with it or wait. In the end, I took the plunge and the rest as they say, is history. But I clearly remember listening to the lyrics of this song and thinking it made so much sense to me at that point in my life. These are the lyrics I'm referring to:

If you want it, then you got it
Don't let this moment pass you by
Take a long shot, give it all you got
You'll never know unless you try
You can only sink or swim
Baby, just dive in

Yes, it is a song about a relationship but to me back then, it basically said unless you give this study in Australia a shot, you are never going to know...there are two possible outcomes: you could swim or you could sink. But you will never know until you try it. So yes, I dove in. And this song helped in some way make sense of the shit in my life at that point.

2. Moment in the sun by The Living End

I love The Living End. And when this song was released in 2008, it seemed to me as though they had sung the story of my life. All you have to do is listen to the lyrics. It was my anthem that apparently brought me to where I am today. Even though the song didn't exist back then. 'Nuff said.

On a related note, I got tickets to see The Living End play live in September at the Enmore! I'm so excited and looking forward to it!

If you missed any of the previous posts as part of this challenge, or are really desperate to re-read them [wouldn't have a clue why!], you can find them here: Ten secrets, Nine loves, Eight fears, Seven wants, Six places, Five foods, Four books, and Three movies.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

Parental Duties: Where does it end?

2011-07-24T10:17:00.002+10:00

We all know that as a parent, you provide the best for your kids. You provide them with love, feed them, clothe them, make sure they have a roof over their heads, and educate them. After all, in some countries, if you don't do that, you get reported to child protection authorities who may take the kid away. But for some reason, in India, there appears to be an added 'duty'.

Getting your 'child' married. Your 18+ child.

Let me explain to the non-Indian readers of my blog. In India, once a child is of marriageable age, apparently it becomes the one thing all parents yearn for --- to get the said child married. And if they don't, they are apparently shirking in their duties as a parent.

When I visited my family in India last month, my nice grandmother (maternal) asked me about marriage saying that I should consider it so that mum would be happy. Me, the ever-stubborn and ever-questioning woman I am, asked politely why it would make mum happy to which I get the response that she would have done her duty! Of course, I had a polite rant to my grandma about why mum's happiness is apparently dependent on my being married or unmarried (which by the way, isn't for my mum!) when I have done so much else in life for her to be happy about (which she is!). And I ended with --- shouldn't mum and dad just be happy that I am happy and content with life?

I ask it again --- why should a parent's happiness depend on whether or not their son or daughter is married? Even if we were to equate a parent's happiness being dependant on their child's happiness, who is to say being married is equivalent to being happy? I firmly believe that we are in charge of how we feel so even saying that a parent is happy because their kids are happy is a stretch. But if I let go of that view for the sake of this post, why can't parents be happy if their kids are happy with their life in general. It doesn't have to be that the child is married or even employed or even owns a house. Maybe the person is perfectly content drifting through life. Why then, is it hard for parents to be happy for that child?

Somewhere along the line, society in India has made it such that a parent is not completing their responsibility if their child is not married by a certain age. The parent is a 'bad' parent. I found out that my dad got asked the question about me getting married by his friends. Who the hell are they? My parents are not pressuring me in any way but are being pressured by others to 'make them see light' and 'get me married off'. My parents are being guilted into thinking they are not 'doing their duty'. Once a person turns 18, they are considered to be responsible adults. Why then, is it still considered a parent's duty to see to it the 18+ year old gets married?

It's about time people realise that parental duties involve mainly caring for their child until 18 and providing them with love and basic necessities. After that, it is not mandatory. Furthermore, getting an adult child married is not a parental duty by any means. If only society were to realise that, it would spare a lot of parents from needless guilt and spare a lot of children from getting into marriage to 'make parents happy' or to get society to back off.

I am fortunate to have sensible parents (well, at least a mum; dad hasn't really spoken to me on the issue). Parents who are happy that I am content with my life. And thereby currently are not getting sucked into this void of guilt that society is placing them in. Unfortunately, most of my friends back in India and their parents are not free of this and are currently under pressure to allow their parents to fulfil their parental duty.

Where does this madness end?

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

10 Day Challenge: Three Films

2011-07-22T15:38:00.003+10:00

So far, in case you have missed the series of this 10 Day challenge, I have completed Ten Secrets, Nine loves, Eight fears, Seven wants, Six places, Five foods and Four books. Now we are on to Three films. Once again, a very broad topic. I guess what I might do is highlight three films I found extremely significant in one way or the other in each decade of my life [Yes, I know I'm 27 which means the last 'decade' will be the last seven years only].

1. Mary Poppins

The one movie I remember fondly from my childhood is Mary Poppins. To the point where I bought the DVD a couple of years ago. I loved the entire movie...right from the beginning where Jane and Michael Banks write an ad for a nanny and their father thinks it's ridiculous and rips it up to the point where Mary Poppins comes into their lives. The movie is filled with everything a child could ask for --- fun, magic, laughs, breaking the rules, and family. My favourite bit was and is the part when they jump into the picture. And I knew and still remember the words to all the songs. Mary Poppins, the movie, to me was "practically perfect in every way". And I can spell Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. I think.

2. You've Got Mail

Although the start of my teenage years was marked by Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge, the most memorable movie for me was around the time I was 14. I had finished Year 10 and for the first time went in to the city with just friends to watch a movie. That movie was You've got mail. There were some aspects of the movie I didn't completely get at the time thanks to be internet-ignorant. But I still fell in love with the movie and the characters. I loved Meg Ryan's character and the fact that she owned a book store made it all the more special. Tom Hanks was very likeable in this role too. This movie was all about love over the internet but not really liking the person in real life. It was a sweet romantic comedy and in my teenage years, made me yearn for something similar. I currently do have the DVD and watch the movie again when I am in the mood for a bit of light rom-com.

3. Little Miss Sunshine

This decade has been a tough one to choose from. Maybe because it is so recent. There were quite a few memorable movies more so because my tastes changed. I have started to prefer drama and alternative movies to the big Hollywood blockbusters. In fact, I avoid going to the movies for almost all the big money spenders. Little Miss Sunshine is probably my most memorable movie from this decade of my life (although 'Crash' came close). I think it made dysfunctional families endearing with little Abigail Breslin wanting to be a beauty queen, a father obsessed with success, a teenage boy having a vow of silence until he achieves his goal, an uncle who tried to kill himself after a break-up, a grandfather who is so completely inappropriate and the mum who is trying to hold it all together. I loved the comment it made on society in general and how messed up we all are. I watch this movie over and over again and still laugh and cry along with the characters.

So that's about it. In my 27 years, these have been the movies in each decade that I remember fondly. And funnily enough, continue to watch again and again. I guess that says something.

What about you? Have you got any memorable movies? Do share.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

The Man on the Street

2011-07-19T05:30:00.002+10:00

There goes the man
Who talks to himself
Muttering nonsense
Out loud; not under his breath

He looks dishevelled
His hair out of place
Clothes all tattered
Sunken eyes on his sallow face

He waves his arms
As if swatting a fly
But the reality is
There’s no one standing by

People avoid him
Out on the streets
Teens think he’s funny
While kids get scared and weep

They call him crazy
They think he’s nuts
But none approach him
As they don’t have the guts

What they do not know
Is why he behaves such
And seeming with reality
So completely out of touch

What goes on in his head
Alas! They do not hear
Those phantom voices
That only he hears loud and clear

The voices, they tell him
He’s good for nothing
And just a worthless git
Who’d be a lot better off dead

People are watching
His every little move
Or so the voices tell him
And the staring eyes are proof

He wants the voices to stop
But he knows not a cure
As he hasn’t told anyone
And doesn’t know others can’t hear

The solution finally comes
To him on a gloomy day
The only way to stop them
Is if he were to go far, far away

So in his downtrodden home
He sat with a knife
Stabbing the sounds out of him
Thereby taking his very own life

At last he was at peace
The man from the street
The voices no longer spoke
As his maker he would meet

The people did not notice
His absence was not felt
There no longer was the man
Muttering loudly to himself

***This has been written for One Single Impression Prompt 177 and Magpie Tales Prompt 74***

Disclaimer: Schizophrenia affects 24 million people worldwide as of 2011. It is more common in males than females with an earlier age of onset in the former group. The prevalence of schizophrenia varies across different countries. Contrary to popular belief, people suffering from schizophrenia are more at a risk of harming themselves than others.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!